I am 22 I have felt like an outsider with my family and friends my whole life and have been told I'm crazy or have an over active imagination by anyone that I have tried to confide in. It all started when I was about 5 years old, I was in kindergarten and at my school every Wednesday they would give one child in each class an award for doing well in class the previous week it was called an "honor pin" and on Wednesdays the whole school would gather for this ceremony. It was my first honor pin so my family told me they would be there to see me get my recognition, but that day something changed while I was at school I felt a sadness take over me and knew nobody was going to come see me, something was wrong. My teacher sat me down and asked me why I was crying and I told her "nobody is coming to see me today and I don't want my pin I just want my mommy to pick me up" she then told me my mother said everyone was going to come ten minutes before the school gathered when she had dropped me off that morning. As the time got closer they still had not come and my teacher just kept saying that everything was okay they were probably just late, my sadness kept growing and I knew something had happened. I finally got my pin with tears in my eyes and nobody was there, when we got back to class I put my head on my table and continued to cry. When my mother came to pick me up she was very sad and had tears in her eyes as well, at first I thought she may have been sad that she missed me getting my honor pin, but she knelt down and said "I'm so sorry baby everyone had to be at the hospital grandma Betty got very sick today and was in a lot of pain so god let her go to sleep so she won't hurt anymore." My grandmother had passed away from internal bleeding 30 minutes before my family had to go to my school, the doctors could not stop it. After that weird things started happening. I would see shadows and hear voices, I could never understand what was being said but it was very clear that it was talking. When I would go to my late grandmas house to visit my grandpa strange things would happen the one that I remember best was I was in their kitchen and everything was as it should be, I went to the fridge and got a juice box and when I turned around a tea bag was ripped and tea leaves where all over the kitchen floor, when I went and told my mom what happened she told me to stop lying cause I was the only one in the kitchen so I was the one that broke it and when I kept saying it was not me that broke it she put me in timeout in the other room for lying, after that I stopped telling her the strange thing that were happening in my grandparents house. About six years later my grandfather passed on, that's when really weird things would happen, things would go missing and show up were I didn't set them down, more voices and noises were happening. One night I woke up feeling like someone was watching me I looked in the doorway and saw someone with very long white hair sharp teeth and red eyes when it smiled at me I froze with horror and covered my head with my blanket and cried myself to sleep, when I started dreaming I felt very safe like I was being protected then my grandma betty appered there she told me if I ever needed her because I was scared or felt alone to just say her name and she would come. The next morning I told my father what I had seen and he said jokingly it was just my mother looking at me in my sleep, I had no idea why he would have said that because it was the middle of the night and everyone else was asleep, yet again I was told I was making it all up so I didn't tell him that my grandma saved me, and like my mother I stopped telling my dad what was happening. I started ignoring what I was feeling and I pretended I couldn't see or notice a presence when it was around me, even though I knew it was there, for a long time it worked things slowly stopped happening and I forgot all about it. But in the past 3 years things started happening again and now its much more noticeable, I can't hide when I know something is near me. I can tell if they are good or bad, but I can't really communicate with them, I just get images or like thoughts about the person. A lot of these presences tend to follow me, I can tell they want to convey something but I can't understand them. If there is any advice you can give me I would appreciate it. I want to be able to understand and help them. I have seen many spirits and I'm not afraid of them anymore, but I can tell they are upset because I don't understand what it is they are trying to show me or say.
How Can I Communicate?
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