My name is Jill and I'm almost twenty years old, and my whole life I've been toying with the idea that I have some sort of psychic abilities. There is a specific instance that occurred recently that I need advice on, but let me give you some background information first.
My mother told me an interesting story that may factor in to my own abilities, or perhaps those of my mother (I do believe my mother and her mother, my grandmother, share my abilities to some degree) but I figured I should share. When my mother was pregnant with me, she was about two weeks from her due date when she dreamt of her grandmother, Rose, who told her to "wake up, the baby's coming!" and despite the protests from my mother in this dream, who said it couldn't be, it was too soon, my mother woke up and her water broke. I was born the next day and my middle name is Rose, after my great-grandmother.
My first psychic experience my parents told me about, as I was too young to remember it. My paternal grandfather passed away the October before I was born. When I was about two years old, I saw a photograph of him and frantically started to point at it and say "Poppy! That's Poppy!" My mother was shocked because she never told me who he was, and there was no way I would know what he looked like.
Since then, I've always gotten intense feelings when entering rooms with weird energies. On random occasions, I've known information that I don't know how I knew it, and have predicted events that were about to happen, though I never shared this with anyone since they were small and random occurrences.
In 2012 through 2013, I had several deaths in my family of relatives whom I had close relationships with. My grandfather, who was my best friend, was the first of them, and I began having dreams about him and getting clear messages in these dreams from him. They were different from other dreams, as I remembered vivid details and woke up crying. Most recently, my Uncle, who was my dad's youngest brother, passed away suddenly. He had a brain tumor and after a surgery, had a stroke in the shower.
This brings me to the incident I need help with. Last night, I was driving back to my University with my dad, and I kept thinking of my Uncle. I tried to brush it off, saying it was just in my head, but then I decided to tell my dad that I felt my uncle's presence in the car with us. I started crying as I felt I could think in my uncle's voice in my mind, answering my dad's questions. I was acting as a messenger for my dad, who was asking about their mother, who is currently in hospice. We both got emotional and I felt this lurch of energy when I felt his presence had left; akin to the feeling of going down a drop on a roller coaster.
Later, as I was in my dorm room, I called my dad and he said he called my aunt, his sister, who is taking care of my sick grandmother. She said she had a feeling my dad was going to call her. He then shared what had happened with me in the car, and both of them became emotional.
I'm unsure if this was a genuine experience, and in fact I am really scared that this was all in my head and completely not genuine. It's actually 5:30 am as I'm writing this, as I woke up having intense anxiety about the situation around 4:11 in the morning. My head was racing, telling me I had just made it all up and I'm really frightened that I did. I don't know why I would make something like that up, and I'm really thinking it was real. I don't know if this is relevant, but I figured I should mention that I also have a panic disorder and Generalized Anxiety disorder, which causes me to completely second-guess myself and doubt myself intensely all the time.
Long story short, I had no idea where to turn. I found this website and figured I should share my story, and I really hope someone can help me out. I'm curious to know exactly what's going on with my abilities. Do I even have them? I'm unsure of how to interpret the experiences I've had and I'm a bit sick over it. If I do have some psychic ability, I would like to know if I can do anything to try and control it so it's not so emotionally tolling, and perhaps so that I won't doubt myself anymore. Did anyone ever experience this intense doubt in yourself?
I appreciate responses, and thank you for reading.