My name is Debbie and my story is about my father who passed away in May 2013. It all began when 4 years ago my father fell and broke his hip at the boat yard where he stored for boat during the winter. The ambulance rushed him to a local hospital but they wouldn't operate on him because, as the doctors said, my father's kidney and heart problems. These was when I realized my father and mother were hiding my father's health issues from my brother and myself. After being transferred to another hospital, they put a metal plate into my father's hip and a few months later, replaced his heart valve. During that time he had a dialysis port put into his left arm in the event he needed to be put in dialysis. About a year later, my father fell at the boat yard again and broke his other hip. This is when things became very serious. My father was in and out of the hospital for such server health concerns... He had to be put on dialysis, continue to monitor how diabetis, he got a horrible urinary tract infection from the nurse the opened the catheter and placed on the sheets before inputting it into my father's bladder, he had fibrosis of the lung, congestive heart failure, a bed sore that needed surgery that was 8" x 7" x 4" deep and than in top of all this, he got shingles in his left leg. My father suffered from the beginning of this horrible journey to the end. He used to cry and pray and he apologized to me for the sad childhood I had because of the mistreatment of my mother and sadly, my mother mistreated hill while he was in and out of the hospital, to the nursing home and back to the hospital continuously. We celebrated every holiday in this hospital... It was very sad. Towards the end, I used to help my dad with everything... Putting lotion on him, washing him and visiting him everyday while My mother only visited him for short times, treated him roughly and my brother just me oh everything I did for my dad. It was very hard on me to watch my dad. There were times he was incubated and towards the end of his life, he had a bipap machine on to pump oxygen into his lungs. It tore my heart out to watch him suffer and to become so thin that his bones were poking through his skin. We waited for the day he gave up but he said it was because of my brother and mother and me that made him fight to live. Than it hit me, my mother was cruel to him and he couldn't pass away without knowing she would be taken care of. My husband and I discussed things and I told My dad that no matter how much of a f*+-@ing b... Mom is, we'll do the right thing and take care of her and no matter how much it hurt me I told him everything good in me is because of him and not from mom and he should be so proud to know that and I told him it was okay for him to go and that I love him. I continued to visit him as usual but one morning I woke up and my entire body hurt... I mean hurt inside and out and I could hardly move. I husband, my dads dying today. He asked how I knew and I said I feel his pain. That day after work I went to the hospital. Everyone came and when they were ready to leave me mom asked if I was coming and I said, no, daddy is going you die tonight and I'm staying here. She asked how I knew and I said that I feel it. That night I stayed with him and he passed away and I was with him. I will never forget it but it is definitely a memory that I wish didn't keep replaying in my mind... Seeing him was pass away in front of me was so hard and I think about it all the time.
And this May that just passed, my grandmother wasn't feeling well. She went to the hospital and ended up on oxygen. I went to visit her and when I went to the bathroom, I head in my head, tonight your grandmother is coming with me. When I left her I knew it was the last time I would see her. I went home, jumped in the shower because I felt so ill and I told my husband that I have that same painful hurting feeling I did when my dad passed away and I know my grandmother is dying tonight. He thought I was just being dramatic but about 3 hours later, I got the phone call that she passed away.
Strangely I look back at my life andi remember when my father was putting together my brothers Christmas gift when he was a child, he stopped and held his chest and said, something happened to Papa, which was his father. He brushed it off and later that night his brother called him and said their father passed away of a heart attack.
Maybe I have inherited a gift from my father.
I miss him dearly and lately I've been thinking about him and my grandmother so much. I've been dreaming of them... Mostly good dreams except for last night, it was a very disturbing one about my grandmother, she was alive and suffering.
I wanted to share my stories with you because this site is exactly what I need to talk about feelings I have.
Thank you for reading my personal story.