Hmmm how to begin... I have had an incredibly messed up life, courtesy of myself. I constantly put myself into situations that threaten my life and have destroyed any bit of sanity I may have ever possessed. I have collected as many disorders and demons as I possibly could in order to increase my perspective. I was bulimic for 4 years and that demon still whispers 10 years later, depression, anxiety, bipolar were life long friends and a couple years ago schitzophrenia graced me with its presence as well. I truly love being crazy in that I feel no desire to judge others. It also makes it hard for me to believe anything so I am constantly questioning and making my own conclusions. Anyway enough of that.
2 years ago I almost died, and things went from weird to entirely different. Everything was different from that moment on and reality went from mundane to something else all together...
That was when I first started hearing the ringing in my ears. I have seen that quite of few people on here have heard it too. It was completely random the first time I heard it, I was sitting on a chair in the upstairs of my parents house, and all of the sudden with the ring I heard voices, not some ghostly voice but my dad who was downstairs and my mom and I could hear them clear as day! It went on for maybe 5 minutes and then it went away but I learned really quick that I could make myself hear it if I focused on it, and I could even raise the pitch of it it to a higher vibration with some practice.
I hear it all the time now and have amuch better control of it and it allows me to do some crazy things. Firstly along with it I gained the ability to soft focus and see the auras of things, it looks like a bunch of flying dots to me and they are everywhere, I also started seeing these human like silouttes made out of energy all over the place, and shadows too which used to be scary but they are pansies and run away so I couldn't stay scared, after a lot of work I finaly got the frequency right to hear them, the people things I haven't ever heard a shadow talk, then anther odd discovery if I looked at a tree or bush in the right way they seemed to have a face and then they started talking to me, and clouds too! Lol I still don't know if its real or I'm making it up but I decided that wasn't really important to me anyway.
Along with seeing the energy after some practice I started to be able to manipulate it, or pull it from place to another. That's also when I learned how to properly breathe it in and once you get enough you can not only feel it you can see it like blue lightning running under your skin.
My favorite thing that I learned was that when I increased the frequency in my ears and focused on an electric light I could also increase its frequency making it get brighter! And I mean any light I kid you not its worked on the sun before! But street lights, flames, any kind of light will get brighter so I feel pretty pleased with my self about that.
The crappy thing is though is that people see something about me that is different I don't know what because none of them will ever admit it, but their eyes are filled with fear, really like every single person gets that look in their eyes and it makes me sad because I can be enjoying myself with someone and I can tell the instant they notice because their eyes and then they start acting weird... One thing I forgot to mention is that I don't lie, everyone thinks I'm nuts but I am the one being truthfull while they lie, I have noticed that either everyone is a horrible liar which is how it seems or I just have like a perfect lie detector now.
Anyway lots of coolness happened but I am also really lonely and I don't see any possible way of that changing. I am nice I am trustworthy, and I am pretty damn fun too, but in the end everyone always gets freaked out by me: (
If anyone has any suggestions please share, I am kind of socially inept when it comes to being anything other than straitforward, fluffy kitties for all!
-Tak male age 26