Firstly, I'd sort of like to admit that I'm not psychic in the sense that I can't predict the future, predict what's in an envelope and stuff like that however I do think I can communicate with spiritual beings, mostly my spirit guides I think. When I'm asleep I'll see them more clearly but not as orbs or anything like that as I've read in some of these posts but more as people/ animals/ creatures. When I'm awake and while communicating with them (I'll probably use the work talk because the word think just seems a bit too weird), I'll see an image of them in my mind. All right, now that that's over with, I'll tell you a secret I've been keeping. I feel like I've had to keep this secret from my family since it might be just too weird and also my father doesn't believe in anything super natural and because of my dad, I'm sort of afraid of telling this to my family since they might think I'm weird and strange. Since I'm autistic and already different enough from other people I don't think I could handle more people thinking I'm weird. At the same though I'd sort of like to share this story of mine with someone, even though I'm kind of scared of what others might think of it. In any way. Here goes. For this story, I think I'll focus on one of the spiritual beings I know called Jack.
It started I think in about the year of 2002 or maybe at the end of 2001 at the beginning of the Long Christmas Holiday, just before year 10 at highschool. My family decided to go on an overseas holiday in France, England and North America. And of all the places my family decided to go to, my father had arranged for us to go to the London Dungeon. The London Dungeon is probably not the best place to have a psychic experience but I'm pretty sure I did and I hope I'm not crazy for it. My baby sister was crying and we were sort of begging not to go to the London Dungeon but it was already in my father's plans so like it or not we all had to go.
While we were waiting and waiting for what seemed like forever for the tour to start, I got bored and so I decided to walk around the waiting room for a bit before the tour started. There were skeletons and all sorts of creepy decorations which made me wonder what my father had gotten us into. Before returning back to my family, I looked up at the ceiling and saw what looked like a black man. I could make out a top hat, what looked like a face and the rest of him seemed like a swirling back cape and from under what I assumed was a top hat, I saw two bright red eyes. Not the white or black part of the eye. I remember those eyes being all red. I didn't know what I was seeing and was sort of curious. To be sort of honest I kind of thought it just another decoration made to look like it was real. I didn't know what it was but I sort of thought it was fake. Those eyes though, I couldn't help but look at those eyes. My vision instantly went black and although I knew my eyes were open, I saw a scene from the movie Shrek. The scene where Shrek tells Donkey: "Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with ME! People take one look at me and go Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre! They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone..." Then it sort of skipped to the scene where Shrek says: "Hey, come on, I'm scarier than anything we're going to meet in this forest..." I then regained awareness of my surroundings wondering what had just happened. I then heard a male voice in my mind say. "Don't be afraid." After that the mysterious disappeared. I felt sort of confused because if something can disappear and be gone like that then would that mean it wasn't fake? Did that mean that what I had seen could've been real? But... What was it? And what did it mean by I'm the scariest thing in this forest?
When I rejoined my family, my baby sister was crying. My mother told me she had sensed a demon and thought that maybe my baby sister could sense it as well. At that moment in time, I dismissed the idea it could've been a demon. To me, a demon was an ugly thing with horns on its head, bat like wings and an arrow shape at the end of its tail. What I had seen didn't make me feel scared at all and since it didn't match the description I thought was a demon, I sort of assumed my mom was just saying things.
Now, I've never ever watched horror. Actually I tended to avoid the horror genre wherever possible and still do. But that place was very creepy and my crying and screaming sister didn't really help my nerves. Since my mother's hands were full and my dad seemed to have a mind of his own, I didn't really have much comfort because whatever comfort my parents could give they gave to my younger siblings. The only comfort I had were a few words: "Don't be afraid." Those few words were enough to keep me from crying, screaming like a baby and running for the hills. But it was still very unsettling and some of the things were quite gross. I basically did my best to be brave. It was odd because even though I was with my family, I kind of felt alone. Because of my disability Autism which makes it difficult to socialise with others sometimes the feeling of being alone was nothing strange to me.
Then everything changed when we got to a section spared from skeletons and gross decorations. It sort of looked like London and the roof had been decorated to look like the night sky. And then suddenly the feeling of relaxation and calm washed over me. After such an unsettling journey through this place, this feeling of relaxation felt very good. It felt like a very welcoming feeling. The type of feeling you get when you walk into a familiar and good friend's home. But as we walked further, I saw a man dressed up as a cop but I also saw someone else... The black top hat person. This time though he was standing on the road, and said, "Hi." I couldn't really talk out loud since people would probably think of me as crazy so instead I tried something else to reply to him and thought, "Hi." "How've you been?" he replied. "All right," I thought back because with the exception of the horrors in London Dungeon, my holiday had actually been quite good so far. From there me and this red eyed entity started to have a conversation as though we weren't in some terrifying place made to scare people within its walls. The cop led us to something on the cobbled road, covered by a green blanket. I was curious. I was wondering what was underneath. Was it maybe a table full of desserts? I really liked dessert and hoped there was like a tray of cakes, pudding and cookies. As if to answer my thoughts the entity told me, "Trust me, you don't want to know. I wish I didn't. You probably might want to cover your eyes." I knew I could cover my eyes but I was just too curious. When everybody from the tour arrived, the cop pulled away the blanket thing to reveal a gross skeleton and then started to tell us about Jack the Ripper. I knew I should've felt grossed out but for some unknown reason I still felt relaxed and completely calm and couldn't really understand why but I didn't really think too much about since it I preferred to feel calm and relaxed over feeling scared. The entity started crying and said, "I'm sorry or please stop" over and over again and then I heard him yell so loud, "I'm sorry" that I struggled to understand why nobody else could hear him. He looked as though he was struggling and in pain. I really felt sorry for him. I sort of wanted to help this entity out because he had been so good to me but I didn't know what to do. The cop then led us up to an area with a screen. As I walked up the steps, I asked the entity if he was all right. The entity told me that he was all right and kind of used to it. Still though, when someone is in pain it's kind of an instinct to want to comfort them but I didn't know how. The story on the screen was very creepy and scary and gross. However the top hat entity had gone to stand in front of the screen and was telling me a different story. The story was about Jack the Ripper feeling so bad for what he had done that he escaped and ran away from London into the woods. There he learned how to survive in the woods but his guilt still plagued him. Then a lone wolf found him. Feeling so horrible he walked to the wolf. The single wolf was soon joined by the rest of the pack and they ate him, ending his life which felt like the fate he deserved and he was glad for it. However when he died, he'd learn that he wouldn't be free from the guilt and sadness which continued to plague him. During that story, he was sort of slightly bent and clutching his stomach looking as if he was in a lot of pain and I was confused. If this was hurting him so much then why was he doing this? Even though I sort of thought that story was kind of made up, I much preferred it to what was on screen simply because it didn't involve anything too gruesome and because I enjoyed fantasy and hearing a story which involved woods and wolves was awesome and since it had a more completed ending, it didn't really scare or frighten me much at all.
But as we got out of our seats, my mom looked at me and told me that that was someone she never wanted to meet at night. I sort of felt like telling my mom that I had already met him, he was right here and he was actually very understanding but in a lot of pain. Mom then sort of told me in a quiet voice so that nobody could here that she thought she felt a demon and thought my baby sister felt it too. I don't know why but I sort of felt kind of protective and kind of upset that they were calling him a demon when he wasn't. From my knowledge, demons hurt and demons want people to be afraid but this entity was keeping me company and I sort of felt like it was looking after me. I really came close to opening my mouth at that point but I didn't. After that, me and the entity who I know realized was Jack continued talking as if I wasn't in the London Dungeon and everything was fine. One of the things he said was: "I feel kind of bad you had to come here. This is my hell. Not yours." Before I went to the end of the section I couldn't really understand it but three words just came to my mind and those words were: "I forgive you." At those point, the entity who had been accompanying me froze as if shocked or something and watched me go. And when that entity was gone, good feeling was gone as well and I was back to feeling scared for the rest of the tour.
But after that tour, I think he must've somehow followed me. The reason I know this is because of a series of nightmare or dreams I had a few weeks after going to the London Dungeon. They were about some of the things from the Dungeon which scared me the most. For about three nights, one night after the other I was terrified by those nightmares. But then on the fourth night. As soon as that nightmare started something else came. He was a blue scorchio neopet wearing a golden cape, holding a white blade sword with a golden hilt and were as some people's eyes are blue or brown, this neopet's eyes were red. And these red eyes instantly reminded me of that entity from the London Dungeon. This neopet single handedly fought everything and anything causing me nightmares. Before there only like three recurring nightmares but this scorchio fought much more than three. Since I enjoy lord of the rings and anime, I really didn't think watching a battle in my dreams was a bad thing and sort of enjoyed it. I remember that this scorchio was extremely skilled with the sword, so skilled that nothing else could touch him. It seemed like one against so many. While fighting, he'd give a warrior's battle cry and yell stuff like, "She is mine! Leave her mind alone! Leave! Get out now!" I thought it was awesome. At that time I'm not sure there were many movies with battle scenes which could've topped that. It was always started out as a nightmare but that nightmare would become a dream the moment my scorchio arrived. When he battled he moved with such grace and perfection it almost seemed like he was dancing. But this mysterious scorchio would always vanish with the last of the nightmares. After the first night of seeing the scorchio I really wouldn't have minded if he had showed up every night in my dreams but he didn't. I think I only saw those dreams of the scorchio for a few days. On the last day... When I realized he was about to disappear I immediately asked him to stay a bit longer since I sort of wanted to get to know him and asked for his name. What was odd about this was that when he was fighting he seemed so confident and sure but when I asked him to stay for a bit so I could know just his name he had his back towards me and a tear fell from his eye before he vanished. He vanished before I could thank him. Can spiritual beings cry? For a while now I've been thinking of that last moment but all I can do is wonder what was he feeling or thinking or why couldn't he looking at me? But what I do know is that for many years after that I didn't have a single nightmare.
Fact of the matter is I've always had an interest in dragons. Ever since I realised I was born in the year of the dragon. For this reason I don't really like it when people call dragons bad or evil and will avoid story books, movies or pretty much anything which involves an evil dragon. I like to think I've put a lot of research into dragons and probably know more about dragons than most people. As a result I don't like to think of dragons as evil creatures. But I tend to think of them more as guardians/ protectors or as misunderstood friends. This is why I could never be afraid of a dragon in my dreams.
In the year 2007, I saw the entity who I had now become familiar with thinking of as Jack again. This time he was asking me for help. I didn't really know what do or how I could help him. All I knew really were three words, "I forgive you" which calmed him down greatly but didn't really solve his sadness and his shame which kept him from moving on with his life. But being around me made him feel happy for some reason which is why I think he deliberately asked me for help. He was amazed that I could feel happy as often as I did and wished he could feel the same way. He told me that pretty often he wished he could fly away from Earth and be done with it forever but he couldn't and felt trapped, trapped in a world which he felt didn't like him. Because of my curiosity I also wanted to know more about him so I asked if there were any other experiences he could share with me. He told me some of his other life experiences I think but not all of them. One of the experiences he told me a little about was that he was a Japanese Warrior and died in battle. Learning that sort of made me happy beecause I think the Ninja and Samurai were awesome. It also
Explained why he was so skilled with the sword. As a result of this, I think the longer he spent observing me and hanging out with my other guides he started becoming a little positive and thinking more and more positively. He also realised that he had focussed too much on his negative experiences and because he only really thought about the negative in his life, it sort of disabled him from thinking of the positive. After this realisation, he thanked me. He was so grateful that he decided that he didn't want to leave and wanted to watch over and help me however he can. Jack is no longer that red eyed, black entity. I now see him as an athletic male with milky white skin, short black hear, ocean blue eyes and black feathery wings.
But I've heard once in a radio that sometimes when people sleep they change form. As a result of this I've started to think that if people can change being human into something else during their dreams then what about Spiritual Beings or angels or guides? I guess that it's because of this Jack has two forms. The one form is the athletic human form I've mentioned but the other is a sky blue Japanese dragon with a silvery white underside and deep blue eyes. Jack has told me that he is a Water Dragon which really makes me happy. In my dreams, he has often taken me to places all over the world and even in Space and this I think is Astral Travel. Probably one of the best places he's taken me in my dreams is the moon were we just simply stood looking back at Earth.
Another good dream I've had with Jack was when I was feeling sad for some reason. I can't remember why. In this dream I found myself sitting under a great oak and a bit of a distance away, Jack asked me why I was sad. I answered back that I didn't know. Jack then took on his dragon form and flew into the sunset and as he flew he said and I quote: "When Dragons fall, they rise." To me that sentence from Jack means that when bad things happen, things can always get better or when a person is feeling down and upset they can always smile and feel better afterwards. I've actually made a poster of this quote from Jack. To me those words are special and I don't want to forget them. Whenever I've felt upset, Jack is usually the first one who tries to make me feel better and often reminds me of the people who love and cares about me. I think Jack really does love and care about me and he often does his best to help me when I ask for his help.
I remember I sort of stumbled upon a book about Jack the Ripper once. I really didn't want to look at the book since horror and gore just grossed me out and wasn't my thing at all. But... I was curious about the backgrounds of the suspects. One suspect in particular interested me. I think it was William Henry Bury. I read what this book had to say about William and was so relieved that it left out the scary bits. As I read it, I was actually very surprised how similar William's story was to the story Jack told me all that time ago back at the London Dungeon. William didn't go into a wood or forest but he did go to Scotland where he had been brought up. He encountered no wolves but a friend of his took him to a police station so I think he basically gave himself over to the police where he was arrested. I think William was hung or died at a police station as well. I hope I'm getting these details right. This made me think that the spiritual being I had been helping and had been communicating with all this time and had known as Jack was really William. But I really couldn't think of Jack as once being William because he had changed so much. If anything he was more like a dear friend to me. A friend who I knew was watching over me and keeping me safe. So, I decided against changing his name to William and to keep on calling him Jack because I felt that name was a bit more positive and still relative to who he was.
Even though I haven't shared this secret with my family, I have shared it with some people I know. Once I even shared it with a person because at one stage I was worried about my mental health. After she read my story, she didn't seem to mind at all which sort of surprised me since I was kind of worried she'd think of me insane. Instead she asked me if Jack had any friends and how she could get one for herself. I didn't really know the answer but I told her that maybe she already has one. So yeah, I've sort of taken a massive risk but I think I've proven to myself I'm sane so the risk was worth it.
Jack who is the first spiritual being I've ever seen with my own eyes has been wanting me to share this story for quite a while but because I was afraid as to how people might think of me because of this... I haven't been able to. Jack would like those reading this to know that if a person is willing, a person can always change their ways for the better.
The story I've written is something I did not make up so I ask for your understanding and hope you enjoyed reading it.