I first met Jason when I was around sixteen years old. My mother had set an age appropriate to be allowed to date, which was at sixteen years old. I am fairly sure this is why he only made himself known to me at this time. Three years before I met Jason, my father had died of cancer. I remember falling into a terrible depression. I never slept or ate and I wanted so badly to die so I could see him again. My mother had always been spiritual, and I was open to the ideas at the time, though not as much as I am now.
The first part of my story seems like a dream, but it was what connected me to Jason in the first place. I first met Jason about a week after my sixteenth birthday. It was going through a very down time, and I suddenly felt a calming presence take over my senses. It was unearthly, the calmest I had ever felt in my life. I remember seeing him in my mind, but it wasn't like I would normally see a person.
He told me his name to me was Jason, and that he was there to protect me and help me. I got the feeling he had been there the whole time, and he was just waiting for the right moment. He told me while I was still awake that he would let me sleep for this night, and while I did he would show me all of the things he needed me to see. My eyes were suddenly so uncontrollably heavy, and I couldn't not fall asleep. I remember feeling wide awake. It was like I was dreaming only I had never felt so awake and alive in my life. He smiled and reached out his hand and I took it. When I did it felt like none other than our souls were embracing, and it felt like the most loving thing you could ever experience.
It felt so beautiful like I could see inside him and he could see inside of me. And it felt so familiar. I remember feeling like I was flying, and we were then standing on top of cliffs near an ocean. He showed me a memory of us getting married, right there on top of the cliff.
I watched us in a past life kissing on our wedding day. I could feel Jason's joy, by him showing me this. I could feel his happiness. I remember hugging him. It was a soul hug. This was before I woke up in my room at dawn. I remember feeling dazed. At school I kept on feeling like someone was pulling on my t-shirt, like someone was trying to get my attention but when I turned around there was no one there. I could feel his presence with me the entire day. The weirdest part was when I got home and my hair had somehow been tied into little braids at the back like he had been bored and was playing with my hair when I wasn't noticing.
I remember feeling slight touches on my arms, or sometimes on my hands but he never showed himself to me for a while again. The touches started to fade when I got into a relationship, and they stopped entirely until we broke up. I remember asking for him to come back, and the lights in my room suddenly turned on without warning. It kind of scared me and I could sense he felt really bad for scaring me. It was a while before I became comfortable with him again.
He showed me other dreams, mostly of us and a young child near a wooden house. I had no idea where all of the places were that he took me, only that they were beautiful. I remember falling in love with Jason. I wanted us to be in a relationship like two people could be but he said that it couldn't happen. When I asked why he left. I no longer got the comforting touches or the reassuring smiles in my dreams. He disappeared entirely.
That's when I decided to see a medium which was one of my mom's distant friends. He said I had a lot of guidance and protection around me, but he didn't really specify anything. I went to at least three more psychics before finding my answer.
Jason had been my husband in two previous lives before this, and he was afraid to be alive with me because of how things ended in our last life. He said Jason wanted to tell me himself what had happened, only I couldn't deal with it and I had to accept that fact. Though in my dream that night I think Jason accidentally let a few things slip. I saw myself drowning, and Jason bent over my body trying to revive me. It didn't take long for me to realize he must have suicide after I died.
I wanted to tell him it was okay, and I wanted to reassure him like he always did with me. I remember spending hours and hours of talking with him, knowing he was lying right beside me. I pretended to think I could touch his hand and hold it, and I could feel his love so my deeper and pure than anything I had ever felt.
He told me we had made a deal that one of us would be alive at a time on earth, so the other could watch over. I actually remembered making this because I didn't want to watch him be in pain. Only now, we are together but we really can't be. And we want to properly be together again. It is comforting to know that I have him with me though. He is my soul mate and my love for him has extended beyond anything I have known before. Jason wanted me to write this because he said it would help someone going through a similar situation.