Let me start off this story by saying I've never been pregnant or even intimate with anyone. In fact, I'm only 18 and I've never experienced anything like this.
It started about three years ago when a friend of mine had asked me a question along the lines of "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" I had absolutely no clue. I knew only that I wanted to travel as long as possible before settling down, but I didn't know if I would want to. I didn't know if I wanted kids or even a spouse. I could only tell her that I knew I wanted to have a job I could travel with and make enough money to keep traveling. She asked if I wanted kids and I told her my thoughts of uncertainty. She found that interesting but didn't push any further. I flipped it and asked her the same thing. While I was clueless, she was extremely sure of where she saw herself career-wise, whether or not she'd have a spouse, and how she wanted two daughters. It made me so happy to hear how happy she was talking about her future.
That night I kept waking up several times in a cold sweat, but couldn't remember dreaming. The last time sleeping before I woke up the next morning, however, I had an incredibly vivid dream of sitting on a covered porch of a house. It was like I was watching a movie, though, because I could see myself from behind, facing forward on the porch swing, looking out into the rainy and green forest. I couldn't see the front of the house or even what the inside or rest of the porch looked like. All I could see was me (but older looking almost?) sitting on the swing with a large quilt wrapped around me. The front door opened and I saw myself look over and smile. A young boy, about the age of 9 or ten came up to me and I wrapped him in the quilt and held him close. We sat there, not speaking or doing anything but watching the rain drip from the trees. I don't know how I knew, because I couldn't see the sky through the dense trees, but I could tell it was morning.
I thought the dream was really strange but didn't really think anything of it, nor did I say anything to anyone about it. I still haven't after the vision-like daydreams have progressed. I'm unsure if I've just started making things up to complete the mystery or if it's truly a psychic thing. I've always had dreams and visions of tiny glimpses, later realizing them when I have deja-vu in the middle of a conversation or just catching sight of something I KNOW is from a dream or vision. But this was so much more vivid than anything I've ever experienced.
They eventually progressed to where I knew the child's name without him telling me or me asking. Then one day another boy appeared in my mind. I knew they weren't related because their hair, eyes, and even skin all looked different, but I felt the same coziness and maternal desire towards them. I also knew the second boy's name almost immediately. This probably happened within the time frame of a few months of the first dream three years ago.
I've had dreams and small visions of them sporadically until about eight or so months ago when they just stopped altogether. I strangely found this distressing, as I would have the visions and dreams when I was under immense mental and emotional stress and they helped me get through it because something deep inside me believed they were my sons. During their absence, I would keep myself busy to where I no longer noticed and almost forgot the whole ordeal. However, around two months into this self-destructive path I'd put myself on, a girl showed up. It was even weirder because I'd had a particularly difficult and emotional week, and I'd been sobbing and just letting myself break down when she showed up. It was like the other 'visions' I'd had of the boys where it was just a fleeting thought of their smiling face and I was instantly better. Again, I knew her name without asking or being told, and she too had different features from the boys, making me think none of them are related and might possibly be children I might adopt in the future. I theorize this because lately, I've been yearning for children. Not necessarily at this moment (especially since I'm only about to start college) or even with a spouse, but I'm still certain I want to travel, even while raising kids.
From then on I haven't had anymore dreams of any of the children, only those 'fleeting thought'-like visions. I'd much rather have small daydreams and thoughts of them than nothing at all.
I suppose the strangest thing about the entire situation to me is that I know what they're like. I know their interests, personalities, even what they want to be when they grow up. To be completely honest, I've become so attached to these children that if I do end up having kids or even adopting, I know I'll love them no matter what, but will be disappointed if they aren't like my vision children. I'm sorry if that sounds horrible, I'm just trying to be as candid as possible.
PLEASE tell me if you have experienced this, something like it, or know someone that has.
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