All my life I have been experiencing physic abilities, from preminitions, to reconizitions, to just about everything. Growing up I had friends who have had similar experiences and because of this I felt drawn to them, to help me embrace and take control of these abilties. I was curious, instead of scared when I saw spirits, or had dreams that happened, actually they were quite cool. I had even gotten to the point where games that I would play, with dice and cards, became so easy, that I was guessing 9 out of 10 each time. This only peeked my interest further and lead me to learning as much as I could about physic abilites and being a medium. I became an expert at controling everything.
I had to admit, some experiences made me afraid, like 9-11, was the most vivid dream I could recall from that age, when I was in 5th grade.
However, as I hit my teens, I am 18 now, my abilties seemed to be growing much to fast for me to handle. I was hearing more things, seeing more things, experiencing more things.
When I was 14, I had an experience that questioned everything I thought I knew about my abilties and the supernatural world. It was the first time that I had ever been truly scared and terrified of something having to do with this, and that event was the first time I had seen a demon. I knew of a negitive presence when I was younger, by scratch marks I would wake up with. At first my parents disregarded it, and so did I, thinking that maybe I was accidently doing it in my sleep. That was however, until my parents started to have them as well, and my friends who would sleep over had the same marks. At that time, when I was younger, it didn't bother me to much, because I never really saw what was causing it, until that one time.
But this time was different, and it was the time I had decided I didn't want the abiltiy anymore. Being in control for all that time when I was younger allowed me to essentially get rid of everything. At first I began to ignore the voices and spirits, disregarded dreams, hid away my physic books, got rid of everything that could be a reminder to it, and it worked, for awhile.
Up until last year, I was able to get away with pushing it aside, but now, I cant. My abilities have come back much more forceful than they were, and I no longer can ignore them. Everything seems out of control. I have come to accept my gifts now, and I have been trying to learn to control them, but everytime I feel I am in control, something happens, and I feel no longer in control. To this point, I have experienced almost every physic abiltiy I was ever able to find. Some are stronger than others, and there are some I can control, but there are others that I can not.
I have seen a physic when I was about 15 who I just happened to pass at a carnival I was at. She stood up, looked at me, and said that I was unique and that I shouldnt ignore God's gifts. I didn't even know her, told her nothing, and here was a woman telling me something I didn't want to experience anymore. It is all just so overwelming, and I am not sure what to make of it anymore. Any advice would be appreciated.