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Always There With Me


I am 40 years of age. As far back as I can remember I have heard spirits, I would talk to my grandmother about it when I was very young and she would tell me not to talk about it, others would not understand. I have been on depression medications and other things to try to help me. Without any help.

I moved to Oregon to live with my mom and continue my education, my two children are grown and off living their own lives. Now it's my turn, right? Not according to the spirits around me. I am a happy go lucky person at heart, but at times I have an overwhelming emotion of fear, sadness, confusion. These feelings have caused my chest to hurt as if I am having a heart attack. I am not insane. What I hear and feel are very real.

I know when the spirits are present because I can feel what they are feeling at the moment they died. I don't see them but I can hear them. Sometimes I can hear them trying to talk to me, but I am unable to understand what they are trying to tell me. I feel sadness when they come around and I cry and can not help but to. I am asking anyone who can help me to please do so.

Last night, I was laying in my bed, my mother was asleep in her room on the other side of the house, my bedroom door was closed. I sleep alone. At about 11:30pm or so, I heard someone breathing as if they were standing next to my bed. I opened my eyes and sat up in bed, I could not see anyone. All of the sudden I started crying, I didn't know why, or who to stop. I pleaded for this spirit to please leave me alone. I am afraid of the night, not the darkness, just the night. I am afraid to go to sleep. I don't know what these spirits want from me or how to help them. If I ask them to leave me alone, they don't.

Someone, please, please help me. My email address is shelleyjholloway (@) Thank you.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, ShelleyJanine, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Timfaraos (426 posts)
9 years ago (2015-04-06)
A woman friend of mine, was being visited almost nightly, by her DEAD 3 year old nephew... They talked and laughed together for hours. She told her christian friend about this, who replied: "I bet it's not your nephew, that its a demon. Next time it comes say: 'In the name of Jesus Christ, show me who you really are!'. She did this, and her "nephew" turned into an ugly demon, and ran through the wall, leaving behind a stench of rotten eggs LOL! We don't have to put up with these unknown spirits intruding into our privacy, whenever they feel like, with their hidden agenda to gain our trust, and our mind body and soul. We have authority in Jesus' name, to send their sorry a*ses back to where they came from! Halellujah! And if you want to help a dead person, just pray to God and fast from food for him. Also you can help him by giving your time and money to disadvantaged people and charities, in the name/memory of the dead person. That's it! We can only help the dead through Jesus. God bless!
ShelleyJanine (2 stories) (6 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-02)
So I have a question for you then. What if we don't really have the right to tell them to leave where and what they concider thier home. If they are lost, scared, and not at an understanding, who am I to turn this spirit away. I did sleep last night. I got into my bed and sat there for awhile in the dark, after awhile I said outloud but calm, with a smile on my face and told this spirit that I was happy that I was able to share this space with him/her. That I was going to go to sleep and closed my eyes and said these words outloud..."May God bless you where ever you are in life or the non-life." I laid down and went to sleep. The spirit did leave me alone until 4 am when I awake to the sound of clothes being moved around in my closet. So, I got up and said good morning. Maybe it will help, at least for a couple of nights? 😊
Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-01)
Ok next time you feel a presence don't plead with them to leave you alone... Tell them DIRECTLY and with strong courage and CONFIDENCE to leave your home. They absolutely love to feel your fear. Don't let them. I have helped a few people in the past with similar circumstances and it works!
Best of luck & iv your still having problems let me know ❤ ❤
Ruth - medium clairvoyant
SmokeTooAsh (8 stories) (41 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-01)
Hi Ruth, like I was saying before I seem incapable of meditation, any suggestions I do get the concepts of the white light and creating an atmosphere but I can by no means shut my eyes and just meditate I'm more likely to zone out while being very aware then I would be to be quiet and meditate.
Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-01)
Hey there. I have a protective shield around me by meditating on the white light. This works. I am a medium and have tested this theory. I have on several occasions over a period of a week not meditated on the white light and have been awoken in the night by pestering ghosts. I always meditate on the white light to ensure a full night's sleep. I am quite suprised to read how many sensitive people there are in this world of ours yet quite a lot of you have no clue as to how you go About protecting yourself. It's really important.
Luv & light to you all.
Ruth medium clairvoyant over 4 years
SmokeTooAsh (8 stories) (41 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-01)
Anne, very insightful story! I'm empathic myself and can totally relate to the methods one has to go about in order to keep yourself healthy, especially when it come to not allowing others to sap you of your energy, and not feeling bad about it. I have to do this all of the time and it took many years from jr. High up until I was 20 before I started to figure it all out. I however am completely clueless when it comes to meditating as well as getting any help from a spirit guide or just being able to communicate with the things I see and sense. I think they are just attracted to me and don't neccessarily want help. I now also make it very clear that I do not want to be bugged and bothered as well. Like I was saying in my previous post ignoring them sometimes works the best for me. Shelley their are some wonderful, caring, and insightful people who use and comment on this website. No one may for surely have the answers, but reading others stories and the comments back can really help you realize your not alone and for a lot of people that is the one main things that starts to turn their life back around.
ShelleyJanine (2 stories) (6 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-01)

Thank you for that wonderful peice of knowledge!
I think (and pray, hope) it helps. And it is true, I can not live in a place with a lot of people around me, I pick up on so much of the unseen, other people and some of my friends don't seem to understand or even want to know and think I am crazy... Now I know I am not for sure.
You have help in such a big way! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
ShelleyJanine (2 stories) (6 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-01)
Thank you both for your wonderful insights on this whole thing. But just before I got back on the computer 5 minutes ago, it sounded as if someone was shutting a cuboard door in my room. I have none! Anyways, I got up to look and no one or nothing was there or moved.
I talked to my mom about this subject last night before she went to bed and she informed me that she has seen a man sitting in her chair, she said that he was wearing a white sleeveless t-shirt and a hat. She couldn't see his face or the bottom part of his body. It startled her and she ran out of the house, when she went back in, no one was there. We live in a very small farming community and we basicly live in the middle of a wheat farm. No one is ever out here. So I know what I feel and what I hear (as well as what my mom has seen) is real.
I feel very sad today and myself personally am not sad, in fact my oldest daughter just graduated from basic training in the army, but I feel like I have this heaviness in my chest and I feel the need to cry. This is what I wish I could turn off the most. Did this man die suddenly of a heart attack out here in the fields before the house was placed here?
He wants to get my attention and I think it is driving him nuts that I can't talk to him, although I have tried.
Anyways thank you again, and I will look at that site! God bless you and take care.
SmokeTooAsh (8 stories) (41 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-01)
I never feel alone either sometimes it's a good thing sometimes it is a bad thing. I am also like you I do not like the night and cannot sleep. So if I want to be capable of doing anything productful in my life I have to take meds to sleep that or I have to sleep after daybreak which doesn't work great for how the rest of society is. I am continuing my education as well. What I've found to work the best is to just believe that everything is okay. We are the ones that have the power Like Anne said spirits often project back what energy you are giving off. So try and stay positive. Don't get scary thoughts in yoour head before you try and go to bed. If I watch a scary movie or if for whatever reason I think about ghosts and stuff right b/f I go to bed, then the house will start creaking way more then what it does normally. It'll soudn like someone is walking up in my attic, and I do not live in a particullarily haunted house at the moment. When I was a kid I did though so I know the difference. The main things I see are the shadow people they intrigue me and bug me quite a bit but they are not ghosts and for me seem like simle observers living their own lives on their own plane. I sense them they sense me but that's as far as it goes and I don't much care to pay much more attention to it, becaue that is when weird stuff happens that is what scares me which I feel then brings in a whole different type of energy. The kind that is mean and cruel and tries to mess with you. I'm not saying my way is right but don't aknowledge their existence and then they won't exist, but you really truly have to believe, they sense fear just like a dog does but you can trick a dog and you can trick them too! Sometimes they don't want help at all they are just interested in us like we are them. Hope this helps.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
14 years ago (2010-03-31)
Hi Shelly, I don't think these spirits are there to bother you, they are just there. They are everywhere but most people don't see them. It is very simple for someone to say that everyone goes to heaven or hell, but that's not the truth. Souls inhabit the lower planes and can be perceived by sensitive people. You're one of them. They are like radio waves in that they are all around us but few possess the antenna to pick them up. If they are communicating with you, I'm sure they are looking to receive what living people want: an ear and attention. The ego's narcissistic ways don't go away upon death. Once those who have passed over and are stuck here figure out they've got a live one, they are pretty much all over that. It might be helpful to you if you read my article about coping with empath abilities (

So in summary, you're a psychic medium who can't shut the door onto non-physical beings. This may never go away so like anything we're stuck with, the ability to cope has to be learned. Imagine being a psychiatrist who is around dysfunctional people all day. They too have to learn not to take on other people's energies, stories and dramas (forget the "body", it's the person). Don't think of these spirits as "ghosts in sheets" but actual people. They are in the lower plane for a reason, you know? If they were ascended masters in life they wouldn't be flitting around the etheric and lower astral. They are dysfunctional souls with problems that haven't reincarnated yet. When you feel these borrowed moods come on, try and learn to detach from them (not to shut them out), but allow them to come and pass and make a mental note only. Don't attach yourself to the emotion. This theory also applies to thoughts because thoughts are still ego driven. I'll give you an example. Let's say you start to feel a negative feeling associated with a thought like, "This slow driver is a moron." You acknowledge that you thought that, clear your mind, and don't grab it and hang on. YOU are not these emotions. YOU are not these moods. YOU don't have to grab and hold onto them. Even if you cry, let it out, then say, "Well there that one went" and move on.

I have things breathing next to my bed all the time! I wake up to people calling my name, poking my body, you name it. I am strong though because I know they cannot hurt or attach themselves to me. I let them pass and if they are really annoying or negative, I will send them a profound sense of love and they usually instantly diminish or they reflect it back immediately. It's the oddest thing but spirits usually project back what we send out.

Something to think about.

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