I am both nervous and worried about submitting this story as I do not know if it is the right thing to do or whether it will just make matters worse but here goes:
I have been told on several occasions that I do have raw psychic ability and if I wanted to I could pursue this root and gain control! This is always at the back of my mind then something will happen to bring it roaring to the surface.
It's hard to put pen to paper so to speak and write down all the experiences I have had from being a very young age. The first instance happened when I was about 5 years old I remember being tucked up in bed with my brothers and sisters on a particularly cold night and when I woke up I thought I saw my mum and dad stood at the bottom of the bed, like parents do checking up on us to make sure we where all ok. I felt reassured by their presence and went back to sleep, when I asked my mum in the morning she said that they never came into our room and she said I was probably dreaming but it seemed so real and I had watched them for a while before I went back to sleep.
As I grew up in various different houses I have always been able to see and hear things that nobody else did in the house, apart from when we lived in a particularly lively house when I was about 7 years old and then other members of my family saw and experienced things as well - especially my dad.
A few years down the line my mum and dad split up and we went to live with my mum. Every house or apartment even upto the present day I am always seeing things and hearing things that don't add up, I am now 38 years old by the way.
When I was about 13 years old I had a really bad case of food poisoning and that night feeling really sorry for myself I went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up feeling even worse than when I went to sleep and then an apparition appeared in the corner of my bedroom. By this time I was wide awake and sat up in bed watching it walk towards me. As it got closer it was a nurse, she came over to me and smiled and said to me that everything was going to be ok. She put her hand on my forehead and laid me back down on the bed - I even felt how cold her hand was on my forehead. She smiled again and said 'you will be fine by the morning, I am looking after you'. When I woke up in the morning I was sooo well I couldn't believe it - my mum was so surprised to see me out of bed never mind being fit as a fiddle!
I have always been fascinated and cautious about any paranormal happenings and have wanted to pursue my abilities but have been too - well I shall just say it - scared to do this. The reason I have been scared to do this is because when I seriously think of doing this - activities around me tend to become more intense. I have been scratched, had my hair moved out of my eyes as well as pulled, had my foot grabbed (while I was sat up in bed reading) with my husband watching TV at the side of me. More often than not I get scratching underneath my pillow I have had the bed rattled and banged underneath - which my husband also experienced.
When I become pregnant a few years ago things calmed down a lot, right to the point of nothing happening at all but recently things have started to come back into play. Then to say the least I am not impressed when I see dismembered arms with hands attached scuttling across the ceiling towards my child's cot!
What shall I do?