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Where To Go From Here?


I am both nervous and worried about submitting this story as I do not know if it is the right thing to do or whether it will just make matters worse but here goes:

I have been told on several occasions that I do have raw psychic ability and if I wanted to I could pursue this root and gain control! This is always at the back of my mind then something will happen to bring it roaring to the surface.

It's hard to put pen to paper so to speak and write down all the experiences I have had from being a very young age. The first instance happened when I was about 5 years old I remember being tucked up in bed with my brothers and sisters on a particularly cold night and when I woke up I thought I saw my mum and dad stood at the bottom of the bed, like parents do checking up on us to make sure we where all ok. I felt reassured by their presence and went back to sleep, when I asked my mum in the morning she said that they never came into our room and she said I was probably dreaming but it seemed so real and I had watched them for a while before I went back to sleep.

As I grew up in various different houses I have always been able to see and hear things that nobody else did in the house, apart from when we lived in a particularly lively house when I was about 7 years old and then other members of my family saw and experienced things as well - especially my dad.

A few years down the line my mum and dad split up and we went to live with my mum. Every house or apartment even upto the present day I am always seeing things and hearing things that don't add up, I am now 38 years old by the way.

When I was about 13 years old I had a really bad case of food poisoning and that night feeling really sorry for myself I went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up feeling even worse than when I went to sleep and then an apparition appeared in the corner of my bedroom. By this time I was wide awake and sat up in bed watching it walk towards me. As it got closer it was a nurse, she came over to me and smiled and said to me that everything was going to be ok. She put her hand on my forehead and laid me back down on the bed - I even felt how cold her hand was on my forehead. She smiled again and said 'you will be fine by the morning, I am looking after you'. When I woke up in the morning I was sooo well I couldn't believe it - my mum was so surprised to see me out of bed never mind being fit as a fiddle!

I have always been fascinated and cautious about any paranormal happenings and have wanted to pursue my abilities but have been too - well I shall just say it - scared to do this. The reason I have been scared to do this is because when I seriously think of doing this - activities around me tend to become more intense. I have been scratched, had my hair moved out of my eyes as well as pulled, had my foot grabbed (while I was sat up in bed reading) with my husband watching TV at the side of me. More often than not I get scratching underneath my pillow I have had the bed rattled and banged underneath - which my husband also experienced.

When I become pregnant a few years ago things calmed down a lot, right to the point of nothing happening at all but recently things have started to come back into play. Then to say the least I am not impressed when I see dismembered arms with hands attached scuttling across the ceiling towards my child's cot!

What shall I do?

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Andais, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Andais (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2010-05-17)
Apollo Priestess - Thank for the tip on meditation I will try that and see if will help me - thanks again.

PathR - Thank you for the information on the Chakra's etc. I will try and get a copy of the book - I think my friend will be able to get me one. I will also give the pinesol and seasalt cleaning ago aswell - much appreciated.

Anne - Thanks for the advice I will take it on board and have a good think about things.
LouraFriend (guest)
12 years ago (2010-05-15)
"when something negative this way comes, I send it absolute unconditional love and guess what? Poof, it either is gone or morphs to an utter loving being." ~AnneV

Really? This is what I remember of your absolute, unconditional love...

From: "webmaster [at]" <webmaster [at]>
To: LouraFriend [at]
Sent: Thu, April 29, 2010 3:26:24 PM
Subject: story submission #4718

People don't come to this site to be judged by people whose main claim to fame is to "not judge". You don't know people's life path any more than the next person. God puts us here to have a myriad of experiences and not just the ones your egotistical mind thinks that others should have.

There are plenty of narrow minded sites out there just for the hypocritical likes of you. So go find them and leave us alone.

The editor responsible for evaluating your story is: AnneV

My response:


Speaking of judging... How do you know that I am hypocritical, egotistical, or judgmental? Since this is my worldview, I feel a responsibility to share with others what I have learned through life. Isn't that the point of this site? Why be so harshly intolerant of my views because they do not agree with yours? Also, I have had a myriad of what others call psychic experiences. Your site claims to be open to any person posting about their experiences no matter their religion, views, etc.

I have read at least fifty posts from this site and in nearly all of them people have said they do not/have not shared their experiences with anyone else. About half those people are interested in expanding their gifts, while the other half is just plain scared. It bothers me to read that so many people are hurting and scared. I feel compelled to show them there is another way they might not have thought about. Why is it wrong for me to have compassion for others? If you break down what I've written, is there anything you really disagree with (that some people are intrigued and others are scared; that people are afraid to share their experiences with those closest to them; that people have posted many times wondering if a presence is demonic or not (their words, not mine); that God is a God of love who means good for all people; that it is wrong to post my worldview when that is what many others on the site have done)? Or is it just my worldview that bothers you?

And by the way, my "main claim to fame" is not "not judging", but the love that I share with the God of the Bible (I only write this to be precise) and He shares with me. If you read this post and any other that I have written, you will find that I have not judged anyone. Nowhere have I written that anyone is or might be evil, hell-bound, etc.



The Story that sparked it all

I have been reading a lot of posts on this site and have noticed some trends:

1. Nearly everyone says straight away that they do not tell anyone else about their experiences for fear of being thought crazy. Those on this site are afraid of what others might think of them, but not afraid to play around with things they don't fully understand.

2. I have read many posts where a particular experience or set of experiences have scared the post's author. If things are freaking you out, why persist in them? Why not simply stop?

3. Many people have written about dark presences and wondered if they are demonic, or just part of a linear playing field of spirits who are all well-meaning. To me it seems that if the presence fits the classical description of demons, then that it what it is.

4. Why take up with demons who freak you out and do mean you harm, when you can have the eternal love and care of God who means you good (this is not the same as wealth, happiness, etc. But for making you a Godly person)?

5. I know that having special powers makes a person feel good and special. Instead of feeling lost, they think they have found their place in the world. I believe in the God of the Bible who loves me because He made me, not because I have dreams which He gives me. This relationship is not an easy road and involves a lot of self-sacrifice, but it is satisfying, thrilling, comforting, loving, and peaceful.

As always, please feel free to contact me via post or email at bigloumedia [at]
PathR (4 stories) (1274 posts)
12 years ago (2010-05-13)
Andais I agree with AnneV regarding Hands of light by Barbara.
Plus the medium is right about the Aura shield for it ticks all the box's.
The Aura is strong but can be broken down by stressors, excessive smoking even alcohol, the list goes on.

Two main chakras: 2nd-Emotional, 3rd Mental.
Would be a main focus. It would be really helpful to use a visualization of protection before meditation and also over your home before bed. To allow yourself to
Gain confidence as well as heal.

There is a book that explains re crystals for a beginner. Title: All about crystals by Connie Islin.

I would recommend Quartz a minium of 3 to 5 raw crystals. The book tells you how to set clear and set them.

If you know of a good energy healer and are
Able to pay them, have them work on you,
Once a week.

Also smudging your home, and cleaning with pinesol and sea salt will also create a protective barrier in your home once a week.

Best wishes
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
12 years ago (2010-05-12)
Just another note here; there is nothing, and I mean nothing happening in your life that your higher self hasn't aligned for you so you're more in control (and making those decisions) than you think. We're given what we need even if that feels hard at the time (that's why they call them 'growing' pains).

I know exactly what you endure. There is nary a week I'm not poked, pushed, prodded, talked to etc. I just deal with it. I also do astral projection so I run into these critters and people more than most people can even imagine. At first it totally sabotaged my travels until I got sick of my fear and just faced it. And as soon as I got over one type of fearful experience it would morph and give me another (there's a reason for this, but I'm saving this for the last sentence).

If you feel you have a tear or deformity in one of your chakras, run, not walk, and get yourself a copy of Dr. Barbara Brennan's book called, "Hands of Light". You can probably get a free copy at the library.

Spirits are everywhere so none of us are free from them at some level; it just varies on the awareness aspect of them.

Meditation is fine and all but remember, like attracts like. How I best combat what I want around me is to exude the very energy that will resonate with like energy. If we're depressed, worrisome, angry, etc., we ultimately attract that because that's the level we're vibrating at. I can't even recall the last time I was bothered by a negative being (human in origin or otherwise) when I was at my most loving. You're probably new to this site but I've been sharing for quite some time now that as hard as it is (and I'm still working on this) that when something negative this way comes, I send it absolute unconditional love and guess what? Poof, it either is gone or morphs to an utter loving being. And if you really want to get advanced, ultimately know that this is all a lesson. When you learn the lesson it moves off of your experience plate. Neat, huh?
Apollo-s_Priestess (22 posts)
12 years ago (2010-05-11)
You're not being selfish, you just want your own life. Who doesn't. And when it comes to meditaion you can try meditating when your going to sleep; there's a window right before you fall asleep were it's easier to focus and stay still.
Andais (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2010-05-11)
Thank you for the comments Anne, much appreciated that you took the time to read my story and give me some advice. You have given me some food for thought and I will have to have a good think about how to progress.

I would like to say that I never opened the door to being contacted and have even tried to shut it, I have quite a few protection items in place to try and stop any spirits entering my house. A physic medium once told me that I have a break in my aura and that is how the energies are connecting with me and suggested meditation to help heal it (I tried this route I really did but have a problem sitting still long enough to meditate).

I do appreciate that I will get postive and negative experiences - I think sometimes what gets to me the most is being awakened several times in the night and being tired out because of it. Once I have experienced something whether it be negative or positive I always have problems getting back to sleep because if I ignore it (which is usually the case) I then get a prod or a nudge I even had the experience of someone pushing on the side of my head last night because I asked them to let me sleep and turned over in bed (persistent).

The physchic medium also said that I would never be completely rid of spirits etc. Because they are drawn to me in the hopes of being helped by making contact but even though my heart says help these spirits my mind says NO! Because it will never end and more will come for help and I will end up more tired (I know that sounds really selfish) but I really need all the energy I can get at the moment.

But like you say spritiualisms is not a race and maybe in the future it is something to look at. I need to decide whether to follow my heart or my head.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
12 years ago (2010-05-11)
What you really may be asking is, "How do I proceed and yet experience only the positive?" The answer is, it's doubtful that you can. If you open the door to the paranormal it's not just 'members only' of the Happy Club. If you've ever taken the time to do your research you'll find ALL adventurers encounter both the negative and positive and once the door is open, it always stays slightly ajar. This adventure is like any person who takes on a new frontier. Either you stay behind and feel safe or you adventure out and experience both the positive and negative of life. Why did you ever date? You did because you faced your fears about rejection and the other negatives of the relationship because you'd knew there was a chance for something amazing and personal growth. Why do we leave our houses, start new careers, move out of state or country? So you've seen limbs, heard and felt strange things yet you are still here to talk about it.

Ultimately only you can dictate your path. You have to figure out the balance of what you can handle. I wouldn't beat yourself up if you're too frightened to go on. More lifetimes will pass and eventually you'll get the courage. There is no race to spirituality and we all get there eventually.


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