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Real Psychic Experiences

Looking For Intelligence


Ever since I could remember I have always been this way. I never really cared to speak up about it due to self-esteem, I was already "weird" the last thing I needed was to add something to that list, but I find myself wondering more and more about myself and others. It's hard to imagine there could ever be some one like me I've seen my fare share of wannabes in my days. I don't know if I'm a psychic I don't claim to be, but I would like to explain a few things and see what anyone has to say. I remember everything since I was 2 years old, mind you it's only a few scenes of my life here and there but it astonishes my family I can remember such events, I find this rather odd. I always thought everyone could remember things as well as I could. It's so weird because in all those memories I could see the details of peoples expressions on their faces. I always knew what someone was talking about there was never hiding anything from me. I have always been able to tell what someone was thinking and feeling. I have never met a person who could lie to me, this may only be because of the house hold I grew up in, they were all liars and thieves and I just figured I was conditioned to lies and am able to tell. My abilities really became clear when I was about the age of 4 and with a back yard filled with strays and my mom couldn't figure out why all the cats in the neighborhood would stay around our house, well they were my friends, each and every one of them. Whenever I get angry I can fill this rage inside of me and for some reason her name, well never mind the name, but it's like a demon to me. It might just be multiple personality disorder, but I become a whole different person once it's released and I can never remember what happened, it bothers me that I don't remember because it just might be the only time in my life I can't remember something, or I just don't want to even though I've tried time and time again to pull the memories out of me. I have lived my life alone trapped in my little head, and I yet to understand it. I'm looking for a little insight to some of this, I thank you for taking the time to read but a tiny paragraph of my troubles and look forward to your enlightenment.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, kandie, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Nero4 (5 posts)
12 years ago (2012-07-08)
You're not alone with the anger deal... I was originally going to put this up as a story, but either way, I had a very similar issue with this "second personality", which I also compared to a "demon". I'll just copy and paste what I wrote down here since the publishing page for stories wasn't working.

A little information, first.
I have eyes that change color, and I was drawn to this site because of another story regarding eye color, but I'm not sure I'm a actual psychic... One thing I do know is that I seem to have what I call a "second personality", which I found out about when my adopted father said he was going to take something I own from me as a disciplinary action for not following a direct order.
What happened when this other personality came out really startled me. I'm normally somewhat calm, and I don't like to hurt people I care about. But when my dad was about to go to my bedroom, I pretty much had no control at all over my actions, and all I felt at that time was rage and I couldn't seem to break free of it. What happened was something I thought was not supposed to be possible at all:
I was holding back a man taller than me, stronger than me, and at least 58 pounds heavier than me, with only my right hand, and not only was I holding him back, but I was also pushing him backwards with him trying to push forward. By all logic, I should have fallen backwards, or at least been forced back by my dad, but instead, I was the one pushing him back, and he was using more force than I was. I seriously don't know what actually happened with me that night, but I'm pretty sure I was snarling and that my voice was a lot darker than it should have been... I normally would back down when my dad tells me to do something, but I never would have done that willingly. As for my reaction, the first thing I did was break down because I wasn't able to control myself, and because I was going against not only my own father, but also a police chief who had willingly adopted me into the family when I was only a couple years old. I almost snapped a second time with my roommate in college. Both times, I felt exactly the same way. Raw anger that would likely spell out a damage fee if I couldn't keep it contained long enough to cool off. I managed to avoid letting it all out at once, but I already learned that once I let my control slacken even slightly during the time I'm really angry, I won't be able to reign myself in.

If anyone knows what could have happened, I would appreciate the help.

I can explain more if needed, but the only method I could think of for controlling this strange second personality (for lack of a better word) was to not let myself vent my anger until I'm alone in a room with something that can't be harmed and that can't harm me. I often find myself punching the floor if I'm angry, or I'd be biting my arm (I thought I broke that habit, but I was wrong) or a pillow.

And speaking of biting, I got bit by a dog because it wanted another dog's special diet food and I refused to let it have the food. My almost immediate reaction was "bite the dog's shoulder", and the dog's reaction to that was rather funny... The dog pretty much looked freaked out by my actions, and let go after a few moments. I never fully forgave that dog for biting me, but that particular dog might actually hate me for whatever reason.

Also, not only do I have strange reactions to actual events like with my dad and the dog, but I noticed that when something startles me, I tend to turn slightly aggressive towards whatever startled me even if it was just a sudden loud noise that I wasn't expecting.

I'm not saying I believe I'm a werewolf or Lycan (I see the two as different races or species, where one is a hybrid and the other isn't), or anything like that, but I just know that most people don't bite dogs just because the dog bites them first, and that people don't lose all control of themselves while still retaining their ability to think or anything like that.

For those who are only trying to disprove a real story, you shouldn't even be reading this comment if you don't believe it's possible to any extent. And no, there was no gradual change to alert me like with an adrenaline rush. If it was an adrenaline rush, I wouldn't be posting this story, and I took Anatomy-and-Physiology in the 12th grade, so I know what happens with adrenaline rushes.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
13 years ago (2010-12-04)
You will find your task. Your Vision. This is for sure. Nature makes no waste, and God knows no gaps in memory. Highly perceptive ones are born for a reason and they will be called to their jobs by the Creator. No matter if you succeed in realizing your inborn task - go ahead as soon as you know it, and dare the devil trying to make it real! And do not believe, NEVER, that you are what others think that you are. If you do you just let the world bring you down. Many intelligent ones are SEEN as anti-social or haughty though they are NOT AT ALL. And what is wrong with being a loner if those around you do not grasp even half of what you got on your mind, and/ or do not understand your moral stand-point? I was a loner for intelligence, and for my stand-points, during whole youth; thus my grand-aunt told me, over and over, this sentence:
I give it on to you, for your future.

As to the rage: it is a form of energy, of strength. If you manage to get this strength into a constructive "canal", to use it as a fuel for useful work, no matter of which kind, you turn the "demon" into a servant of God.

In case you still are young, I also tell you this: the gift of recognizing who is a liar and who is honest surely will give you success in police or security jobs. In bank or business jobs it is also very useful.
kandie (1 stories) (1 posts)
13 years ago (2010-12-04)
Thank you AnneV for your insight and I have previously examined myself with the same thought in mind. I always figured I could be crazy, my family is the same way with the blind rage and all and you are right about the anti-social, but I have never considered myself superior. I am a reject I can understand how it would have the same effect just in the opposite way. I do believe I am living in my head and it keeps me different from others causing me to stay there out because I feel as though I'm trapped and completely helpless, in a manner of speaking, but I still feel as though there is something missing. A reason, a purpose, acknowledgment? I will not be offended by comments so please feel free to speak your mind. I just feel stuck in a flesh ridden cage of despair.
ZiShu (129 posts)
13 years ago (2010-12-04)
Hmm, I believe there is something about you that isn't quite human...
I will be able to find out for you. Contact me through my email please.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
13 years ago (2010-12-03)
Everyone's brain is formed a different way and some brains allow for better memory retrieval (or to be better at math, or English, art, etc). On top of that, you're perceptive. That doesn't necessarily make you psychic but it does allow for you to read people well.

They call it "blind rage" for a reason. Rage can and does block reason, memory and cause other distortions in our experiences. Rage ruins lives all of the time. Hopefully you, in all of your intelligence and insight, learn where it's coming from and how to cope with it. Memory black outs are not good for obvious reasons.

Intelligent people commonly get trapped in their head and often become anti-social because they feel superior to those around them. Then they realize they are just different but not better. It takes years to come to that realization and I'm not saying that's you but living in your head is a symptom.

Thanks for sharing.

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