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Suicide - A Medium's Experience


My words come from the heart with absolute truth. I am a medium. I am someone who can communicate with spirits who have passed over. Let me explain. I do not simply see shadows or ghosts. Spirits communicate with me, they mostly do the talking, I ask the questions.

People who successfully commit suicide and let's face it guys, in most circumstances, most people want to end the pain. On the face of it, it is really quite simple. But it's not. It is not "over" when you end it. The bad feelings do not disappear. The pain does not end as you take the pain with you. I have come across those who have ended their lives short and believe me they wish they never had. For those of you contemplating suicide, please do not. The dearly departed who have ended it, walk through the spirit world dazed and confused. They wish they could take back what they did, because they can see how their committing suicide changed the lives of their families and friends forever. The pain and grief they go through every day is indescribable.

No one can see them. Often sitting around their families and friends. They yell, shout and cry out for someone to notice them.

In every situation, no matter how bad, there are always options. The trick is you are going to firstly want help. They key to getting over these bad feelings is to create memories that are happy ones, which will overshadow the bad ones.

Something not a lot of people know is that before we were born, we chose this life and our parents. Yes we did, believe it or not. We chose it for the experience. We signed a contract, in other words we agreed that we would live our lives to the end (and that does not mean the suicide kind of end). If you break the contract by committing suicide, you will come back to live the life lesson again, and keep doing it, until you learn, you are not allowed to break the agreement.

I want this to get out to as many people as possible, so that people contemplating suicide will think twice about it.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Ruth, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Deann (1 posts)
6 years ago (2016-01-03)
Hello all, we found out several years ago that my husband had committed suicide in a past life. He and his past life wife committed suicide in a 'Romeo and Juliet' sort of way. My husband actually landed a job he never should have had and found his past life wife worked there as well. Imagine my shock, disbelief and anxiety oover this situation! Anyhow, the psychic said it would never work out between them and we worked out all the issues related to that. He has had a terrible upbringing, severely abusive alcoholic father and a mother that didn't stand by his side. He also has suffered from knee pain and the worst allergies and has no hearing in his right ear. He is dead set that he jumped off a cliff and landed on his right side, hence all the chronic pain. I have been with him for 16+ years and his struggle is rReal. No doctors can figure out any of his issues, believe me when I say we've expended all the ear nose throat drs as well as Orthopedic drs. He has been denied by many and still suffering. He is such a great guy and determined to fix his issues of chronic pain. My family hates him and has caused us much stress on their discontent with him as far as gossiping and talking badly about him. Anyhow, past life suicide is Real and I believe my husband is on the right track in getting better. He has a good idea and will never quit. I just wanted to share my story in hopes that others can remain courageous and strong whether you're suffering or with someone who's suffering. ❤
hrk (guest)
8 years ago (2013-10-10)
This somewhat saddens and disappoints me. Deeply, actually.
Zin (guest)
8 years ago (2013-10-09)
hmm so your sorrow is that of self, not that of want. Then perhaps saying this will help:

A ven didas son al ebuis ten vas dens. Soy ten mein vack say deinda. Conas mis vinda a sin. A vedia todos sin vedas.

Of course, you will have to say it aloud and with some purpose to get any sort of effect.
Tarah27 (1 posts)
8 years ago (2013-10-09)
Hi Ruth,
I just want to share and maybe get some insight. I stumbled upon this purposely I suppose. The thought always crosses my mind. I was hoping a psychic or medium would say that it happens and there is not a repercussion. I'm a mother of three. Two of which live their dad, who is undyingly in love with me. Hes a great man, I wish he knew that. Everything is perfect and they just want me to come home so bad.
On the other hand I lead a lonely life with a man that I love and have a child with. I know which home is supposed to be the right one, and how the other home does not give me fulfillment either.
All I seem to do is crush everyone's heart. With providing false hopes to who ever needs a little hope in their heart and life. Why is it that I just don't feel like I belong anywhere. I feel like if I were to just die already I could do one last final blow of pain instead of multiple intervals of suffering and pain that I cause to others.
They say I'm selfish but I can't seem to help that feeling of just needing to go. I just don't know where I am going. And after reading your view, I swear I would hate to restart the same lessons I have learned. I have seen war as a child, homelessness, sexual abuse from others to me and to myself, rejection, emptiness and loneliness. Maybe I'm going on too much. Guess I'm trying to emphasize how much I would hate it or the fact that I hate this person I am, I can't even enjoy the peacefulness and happiness of a family who truly want me. Its not even pain that I would suicide of. Its just the restlessness and fatigue from always being unable to settle. What can I do to help that Ruth? Please any advice?
jennjohnny1 (1 posts)
8 years ago (2013-07-25)
My husband committed suicide and I feel so responsible he told me he was going to do it and I didn't believe him our last phone call ended with me hanging up on him and him calling back and me not answering I feel so guilty since his death I have seen a spirit walking twards my bathroom and I've had numerous dreams one specific he came to me and told me it was ok to move on and the next day I met my current husband which just so happens to be the same name we wanted to name our next child and now I have that 2nd child we dreamed about with the name not intended on my part my husband now was avid about having a jr I'm just wondering if he's always going to be with me I love waking up after having a dream about him I feel so refreshed thanl you for your time
matoure9295 (1 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-24)
Hi Ruth I am new.
I was just wondering, when a person commits suicide they are reincarnated into the same life?
But if they get reincarnated how come they try to reach out to others? Is it because the reincarnation process is long?
Jmeeliz (1 posts)
9 years ago (2013-01-18)
Can you please tell Me if people who have been chronically ill and in serious pain for many years like cancer patients or Lyme disease patients if they take their lives or do an assisted suicide or voluntarily stopped eating or drinking are they still stuck here? This is a very important question for me. I have a friend who was Chronically ill and she stopped eating and drinking and took her life that way. I'm worried about her. Something that is in my mind every day.
Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
9 years ago (2012-10-13)
Hi sweet heart. I am so sorry to hear you lost your loved one.

If I was you, I would talk to him (in my mind), all the time. I would ask for signs for example, when you look up at the sky, the shape of his first initial to be outlined in a cloud.

Don't cry all the time and know you don't have to visit the cemetry to be close to him, as you know, he is close to you and not in his coffin.

Be mindful that he would want you to be happy no matter what.

Light a candle on his birthday and remember him always in a positive way, this helps him and you to move on to bigger and better things.

pinkcutie410 (1 posts)
9 years ago (2012-09-17)
My ex boyfriend just committed suicide September 14, 2012. I really want to be able to communicate with him. Is there any way I can talk to him? 😭 I'm so devastated. I really though him and I were going t get married one day. But he had mental illness, but I still loved him. I saved him from killing himself the first time, and regret that I couldn't save him this time! Please help me... 😢
blkwidow (1 posts)
10 years ago (2012-03-21)
My son had special needs. We argued. He had a gun I knew nothing about. He killed himself. Ruth, any insightful words for me? For my grief or guilt or his spirit?
Mikenleslie6 (2 posts)
10 years ago (2011-09-06)
Thank you so much Ruth! I appreciate any advice I can get. I believe he has been near me. Sometimes I even get scared because the feeling is so strong. I just want him to find peace and wish I knew if he was able to. Thank you again for your help, Leslie
Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
10 years ago (2011-09-06)
I am sorry to hear that. To be sure your brother is on the right track on the other side, please ask him, as he can hear you, to cross over into the light, where he will be at peace. There he will be guided and healed by angels and when he is ready, his soul will be reincarnated and hopefully you will meet him again one day, whether through a child of yours, girl or boy.
Love and blessings
Ruth ❤
Mikenleslie6 (2 posts)
10 years ago (2011-09-05)
My brother committed suicide on Christmas of 2009. He called me to say goodbye. I could not talk him out of it. It's been so horrible. I just wish I knew if he was at peace or not. I know it is in Gods hands but he was a good person. We miss him so much. My life will never be the same. I wish I had the ability to communicate w/him. He has a daughter who was two at the time. Sometimes she says things and I wonder if she cam see/hear him. He loved her so much.
larinna (2 stories) (3 posts)
10 years ago (2011-09-04)
One of the most "real" and "validated" expirience I have ever had was with the spirit of a young man who killed himself. It all began with my young son, 2.5 years at the time, telling me a boy comes through the door. He has an "owie" on his head and he can't find his hat. He wants me to help. After a few weeks of this, I couldn't take it anymore. I called the social services, I called a child psychologist, and I called a child psychiatrist. They all told me the same thing. Young children, DO in fact SEE things that we cannot. I then called the local sheriffs dept. In my small town and called the local investigator who handled the suicide in my apt building. I told him he should sit down. This is going to be wierd... But my son... And I told him the story, and asked what the significance to the hat would be. The deputy validated my sons claim and told me the significance of the hat... It was found before the body, a great distance away.
He said he had chills... I told him, welcome to my world!
I asked my two best buds to come with me. One of the buddies is my sons grandmother, who is empathic and can see things as I can. We not only set up an Digital voice recorder, but also a video camera and have proof this happened.
We spoke to Antony. After we did our protection incantation we opened the psychic circle. Right away he came to us and said "HELLO. Cancer. Virgo. Pisces." The entire time we talked to him was about 40 minutes. The saddest thing, was L. Ru. And I were not used to dealing with this. We regret not telling A. To "cross over" we really tell them that?
Anyway, he kept saying... Tell them. Tell them. Why now. Why I die. Why I go. Why. Why I die. Why I go. Why now. Stupid. Sad. Bad. I love them. So sorry. Why I die... We felt the emotion in the room.
At one point Ru. Asked a "dumb" question, which really couldn't be answered by a yes or no. The board D. A. And we said, "Dude! You just got called Dumb A** by a ghost!"
Later a family member posted an online memorial on FB. I felt I had to convey the message we had received years earlier. I told her... Please don't think we are freaks... But this is what happened.
I told her everything including, the D.A. Remark. She said while we did "sort of floor her" with the info... She also told us that A. Used the word Dumb A**...constantly! So long story. I agree with you. Suicide... Is sad. It is scary. My young son asked me to this day, what happened to A.? I can't tell him. L. Ru and I have to go back and tell him that we relayed the message to his family and that it is ok for him to go "into the light". We feel that since we already talked to him... It should be us that tells him that we understand and that he should "go home. It is time". It is hard to be like us. Everyone thinks it should be: "AWESOME"! But when you are like us... It isnt. There is so much guess work... When are you right? How do you decide when to tell and when to not? But I agree. Suicide is NEVER a good thing. You end physical and emotional pain, but you never end the suffering you know you inflict on everyone who ever loved you... Including yourself. Take it from A.DeF... He lived it, he died... He was sad! Should we go back to the old apt. Building... And contact him again? And tell him that we learned in the years since we talked to him?
greeneyedlady (1 stories) (13 posts)
10 years ago (2011-09-02)
I am usually quiet and read the posts. Trying to learn from others experiences, or advice given. Your post Ruth has touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing

XcitingStuart (3 stories) (28 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-27)
I also agree and I will also remember what you have said, I've experienced with close family who didn't wan to live anymore and it was not nice. I always think, even now she is watching over me and bein' there for me.
chicken1 (2 stories) (69 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-27)
Hi Ruth, what a good story, I totally agree with what your saying about suicides, and that If choose to stray off the path that we have chosen for ourselves we will come back and have to do this lifetime again and learn the same lessons over and over until we get what we need from that experience, I too speak with ones who have passed over, and nine out of 10 of them who commit suicide can't accept what theyve done, and the feeling that they convey is normally sorrow or anger. I have had a male from the early 1950s chat to me once and he still regreted what he did, as it is now the pain of not saying goodbye that kept him from moving on. Thanks for sharing your words, and let's hope it helps some, to change there way of thinking

Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-26)
Hello Deepthoughts

This subject makes me a little bit sad, which is why I wrote this. I did post this article on a suicide web site, but no one was interested. They were so engrossed in their own world talking about how they were going to do it and with who they were going to do it with, making suicide pacts with one another etc.
Either way, the word will get out.
All my ❤
Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-26)
Hello Paws
I have spoken to some spirits who have committed a murder or two. Even someone who accidentally killed his friends in a serious car accident. They all tell me the same thing, and that is they do not want to cross over to the light because they fear of going to hell, because they know they have done something very wrong. In most cases, the words I choose, are words I have never spoken before and can only thank my spirit guide for his guidance. Also I wonder, why it is left up to me to tell them, and why can't my spirit guide tell them. Nevertheless, I can only go with the flow of the universe. In each instance, I basically tell them the same thing. That is, to pray for forgiveness, know what you have done is wrong, to forgive themselves and to open their heart and trust in God. Usually in most cases, the energy and vibrations around me disappears.
Blessings to you
😁 ❤
Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-26)
Hello Colleen - I hear your pain. Personally, I could not have picked a worse father myself. I am 42 years of age. It has taken me a long time to understand why I picked him. My father is not only the most useless father, but he has mentally abused my mother for nearly 46 years. He has always been and he always be a gambler. I think when he passes over to the spirit world, the gambling addition will keep him from travelling to a higher realm.
The fact he is a bad father, husband, friend, grandad, and all round horrible man makes me an awesome human being. As I am sure you are too. He is everything I am not. Another reason I picked him as a father, was to protect my mother.
When you accept and understand this concept, it will help you move on. If you do not understand it yet, you will one day my friend.
Love and blessings
Ruth ❤
CJRyan (1 stories) (36 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-26)
How is it possiable to pick my parents? If I had a choice I would have rather been born into a diffrent family because my father is absolutely horrible. He has not fufilled his role as my father. Rather than figuring out how to be a father he has volentarly put me into DCF care. Oh, how do I reach my past life memiores?
Deepthoughts (3 stories) (11 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-25)
Beautiful!...I know the subject is not beautiful but yeah... Something about it feels beautiful... Maybe the fact that it's most probably going to save a few people who're in pain and stumble upon this.
Paws (3 stories) (16 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-25)
Ruth, I am really glad that you shared this. Do you have any experience with murderers, rapists, animal torturers, etc? If what you say is true, why would a person choose such a life? Would you say that there is more to such an evil person than a human soul alone? I appreciate anything you are willing to expand on. Thank you.
Girasol (3 stories) (49 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-24)
Thank you Ruth. This man seems to come through on the couple occassions I have had a reading from a medium. I have thought he wasn't there for me and told her this so she ignored him and moved onto a member of my family. Perhaps he was going to apologise.

Just goes to show that we should make the most of the life we have and try as be as good as we can be or spend eternity regretting it.

Love A.
Ebbas_angel (guest)
10 years ago (2011-08-24)
I know EXACTLY that feeling. I committed suicide in a past life because the person I loved had died. I still regret it so much. I know I've reincarnated now because I am here to live a full life, and to do everything I could not do that last time.
Nobody should commit suicide. It's a horrible decision and you can't ever, EVER change it. You can come back and live another life, but never the same one.
Ruth (4 stories) (156 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-24)
Hello and thank you.
Yes you are right. Souls are reincarnated over and over again, especially people who have been bad in the physical. It takes many reincarnations and many life lessons to become an old soul.
That person who you mentioned that was horrible, be rest assured and trust me when I say, he would have felt all the pain he caused everyone when he crossed over. I hope your experience, however bad it was, has not weakened your spirit in any way, but has made you strong and courageous.
Love and blessings
Ruth ❤
Girasol (3 stories) (49 posts)
10 years ago (2011-08-23)
Hi Ruth,

I completely agree with everything you have said. I think its wonderful you are getting this message out there. I wonder if you or anyone else could help me out with a question I have related to this subject.

I have always wondered about these souls that commit suicide and reincarnation. I had a bad experience with a horrible man when I was 16 and he committed suicide a few months later. I heard before that very bad peoples souls are not reincarnated and I wonder if there is any truth in this. Or do we all have our shot at life, time and time again, bad or good?

AnneV (4 stories) (1063 posts) mod
10 years ago (2011-08-23)
Thank you for sharing those insightful words of advice. I cannot agree more. While I am not a medium I have done a lot of NDE research and those that have unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide and returned to talk about their brief NDE experience, pretty much report what you have shared with us. Good advice indeed.


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