If anyone could help me on my journey I would appreciate your insight.
My mother divorced my biological father when I was born. She remarried the man who I call my Dad (he was and is a wonderful man/father) when I was 3. When I found out he wasn't my biological father, I had obvious questions. Needless to say I grew up with stories of my biological father being a medium, and the dangers he experienced (being thrown around like a rag doll, being used as a vessel for the spirit, etc) and the glorious things he experienced and allowed my mother and family to experience (speaking to spirits about the other side and such).
Now 30 years later with the support of my three siblings, I finally get a chance to meet the man. I have experienced things as a child (a doll I had who was "alive", a white light on my wall so bright and frightening it made me scream until my Mom came in). Anytime I had these experiences my Mom would deny it all. Maybe for fear that he child would be exposed to the dangers she had experienced. I also had a reading if you will from a native (of Mayan or Incan descent, I can't recall) as a teen and he scared the ever living out of me when he took my hand and touched me in such a way that I felt something inside of me awaken, it's as if you looked and touched deep into my soul, and he said you felt that I know you did. You have a "magic" in you child, don't let anyone take that or keep that from you. You were magical in your past life and still are in this one. And then he gave me some crystals in a little leather pouch and said ALWAYS keep these with you. Please excuse the crude translation but he told me all of this in broken Spanish.
As an adult I have dreams of loved ones who just past. I feel pressure and heat when I believe someone is around, and noises such as cracking walls, falling objects and such. When I feel them and start trying to pretend they are not happening my toddler who sleeps in the same room I do always wakes up crying or will stand straight up in his crib. Last I spoke to my father we were all having a discussion and my oldest brother claims he can see spirits but he says he refuses to acknowledge them, for fear of letting them know that he can see them. My Mom claims one tried to use my brother as a vessel when he was a child. My sister used to see Auras, and still has experiences with feeling paralyzed or "pinned down" to her bed and she can hear murmuring or recently she heard a clear sentence from the spirit. My niece claims to be sensitive and claims to see spirits. I was told by my biological father that I also had "his ability" and that all I needed to do was open the door. There was a spirit who always communicated and sort of took hold of my bio Dad named Martin. Martin was a soldier for Francisco Villa the Mexican Revolutionary leader in life. He was the one who would communicate with my family and speak of the other side and such. He also facilitated the communication between the spirits who wanted to come through. So my Bio Dad tells me if you need help or want help opening the door call on Martin and he will show you the way.
Problem is I AM TERRIFIED. Curious and amazed that I might have this potential, but afraid of all of the things I have been told, and my mother and brothers nagging words of caution about the dangers I might face. More importantly I have heard several stories from my brother and mother about how the negative spirits, and sometimes the positive ones would bother my brother when he was a child. I have three amazing boys. I am afraid for what they might encounter if I "open the door". I do not know if they are sensitive, I have reasons to suspect my 4 year old is but then again it might just be his pure innocence that they are attracted to.
If I do decide to "open the door", I don't even know how to go about it safely, or where to start. There are so many facets to this story if you feel you need further explanation just ask. Any help or advice would be appreciated! Thank you!