My name is Katie. I'm new to this site so please excuse me if I sound stupid but please believe me I'm not lying for attention or something silly like that. By the way
This is quite long but please read all of this and help me.
Ever since I can remember I have always had these strange feelings and things would pop into my head, like words such as 'death' or 'sadness'. After this (the time gap varies) events relating to this word or feeling would happen. Some examples of these are, (these might sound extreme and made up but I promise I'm not lying) I thought of pain and death and a few days after, Michael Jackson died. The same happened when Whitney Houston died. I thought of sadness and a sense of being lost and flight mh370 went missing.
Another thing that happens is that I would all of a sudden start thinking of a song and singing it in my head, I'd turn on the radio and, hey presto, that song would be on. I can predict what song is going to come on next when I'm listening to my music on shuffle- and believe me I have far too many songs on my phone. When there is a quiz show on TV and I have know idea what the answer is ill just guess one and it will always be right. There is a show on TV called Pointless where you have to pick an answer to a question that has the lowest amount of people getting it right (something along those lines!) and you watch the number go down on the screen and I can tell when it's going to stop.
I also get weird feeling when I go into hospitals or graveyards or places that people are dead. Or dying. I just get a feeling fill up my body and all I can think about is death. It's like I can feel and sense death more than any other feeling. I'm not going to lie, this bit might sound creepy but I kind of like this feeling that I get. It makes me feel 'alive' (silly I know, but it's true).
I researched on some other websites and I believe I have some sort of connection to spirits of the dead. I have always believed in these spirits and I also strongly believe in the afterlife but I'm not going to go into that.
This one thing recently has confirmed my beliefs. There is this one girl that I hate in my class for various reasons but I pretend to like her (don't ask why). I laid awake at night on Friday (I really love night time) and asked the spirits for something bad to happen to her. I went to school the next Monday and asked her casually how she was. She started telling me how her little cousins came over to her house for her dad's birthday and they broke her very expensive vintage dolls house. I thought this was some sort of a coincidence so I did it again a few nights later. She did not come to school the next day and when she did come back, she was traumatized because her step dad had a heart attack and was in hospital in a critical state. I can sense when spirits of the dead are around. I get that weird feeling of death and I can almost see them in my periphery or see a very faint black outline of a person. I see these all the time but they don't scare me. I like to think these spirits are my friends and like me (I know it sounds stupid) but I can't help feeling this after all they've done for me. I just almost ask them for luck or help or to do things for me and I get it.
Please help me understand what is happening to me. I have recently turned 13 and this might be totally unrelated but my lucky number is unlucky 13. On Friday the 13th a few days back I aced a test at school and my day went great. I've always been attracted to the colour black- again death related- but I'm not
A goth (sorry if that offended anyone). Death intrigues me to a point that it kind of freaks my friends out a bit.
I have never told anyone about this. Please if you can help me reply or email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you for reading all that. I just needed to clear my head a get it all down.
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS OR EMAIL ME!:)