I have always been a "closet" medium dealing in visual, psychic empathy, and premonition. I have always been very accurate and very correct to the point of swells and being overcome. I would keep it secret to everyone but husband who is very understanding.
Down the street I liked to make people feel better that needed it and gave a few strangers a little extra "help" when needed significantly. Every halloween for 20 years it was a treat for friends and one stranger to have their cards read using a regular deck of cards. The cards were there just to make it seem like a gimmick and get the person to focus on something. I got 9 babies with sex and hair color in birth month and year, 3 deaths and had one person want to tell me how their grandma was doing in her new home, not telling me her new home was heaven... Took weeks to get over looking into someone who had passed without permission and also had not had as happy a life as they had thought. I always wanted to hoan my skills but could not find anyone with true skill. Only thing I truly learned was, "never take money, it cheapens your gift." I have lived by that and stayed in hiding.
Last year I was diagnosed with 3rd stage lime disease which basically means the bacteria passed my blood/ brain barrier. The treatment to kill it highly affected my cognitive and mental ability. I have much improved but still not better. The bad part is since I started having symptoms, I completely lost my ability. Ghost silent, no pun intended. After a few months, the symptoms are improving, but I now constantly see things out of the corner of my eyes and have severely overwhelming emotions. It isn't directed. It is just outflowing garble of uncontrolled feeling that almost disable me. I have tons of senses with no understanding. Drs are testing for everything from schizophrenia to syphilis but all negative. I will not bring up what it could be, because in medical field It is just a mental illness. I am seriously looking for anyone who can give real insight. There is nothing online for losing an ability due to illness, and tried 3 mediums who wanted to tell me my future. One actually did say something was extremely different, but didn't listen to themselves and did the "job". ANY insight is appreciated...
You can learn this now or learn it later, but fear is your number one challenge. Think about all the ways that fear has creeped in from worrying about what others think, worrying about if you're crazy, losing control from lyme.
Best thing you can do is to learn a prayer or make your own that you repeat. Something like "I am praying for healing and peace. I accept love in this moment."
You have the answers in your heart and you don't need expensive tools or the perfect medium to give you answers. Ask for the answers to appear in your dreams. It will happen. Love and Blessings