Looking For Guidance On My Abilities

All my life I have been different and known it. I grew up in a Christian missionary family though, so anything that I felt I just lumped it into the "God" box. I remember telling my best friend in high school that I could know things about people without them telling me. He asked me how and I just said, "I don't know. I just know." Then later I find out that what I knew about them was real.

He looked at me like I was a freak (my assessment) and we never talked about it again.

All through my teen years and up until I began meditating at age 30 I have had HUGE emotional swings for no reason. Once I began meditating and grounding myself I was able to discern foreign emotions that weren't mine. So I was able to discern this and shield those foreign emotions out. It was like coming up for air after having been underwater. Finally what felt like a horrible roller coaster I just wanted to get off was now manageable!

The first major experience I had was at age 20. I had been encouraged to go to this religious kind of "rehab" place by my family. I started walking to work one morning and that's it. I don't remember ever walking there. I was transported into this vision with my dead mother and she was telling me I was going to be okay and comforting me. I "came out of it" and I was at work.

The second major experience I had was at St. Paul's Cathedral in London. I was looking at the beautiful mosaic work on the ceiling and I put my hand on the marble pillar next to me for support. Immediately it felt as if I was being electrocuted or something. My whole body froze and I was transported to another time. There was a priest at St. Paul's, but it was a very long time ago. And I was him, or rather I felt all of his emotions. He wandered the halls and stairways of St. Paul's. The level of happiness this man had I had never experienced in my life. It was breathtaking. I had absolutely no frame of reference for it.

When I "came out of it" my whole face was covered in tears and I was just standing there staring at nothing. I started sobbing violently. But the crying and tears weren't out of sadness. I was just so completely blown away that I had felt happiness at such a mind-blowing level.

I later discovered my sensitivity for stones. I picked up a piece of Malachite at a fair and my whole body vibrated. My forehead sent out prickling electricity all through my face and head. My body felt numb, but pleasurable. I bought the rock, and have since developed this sensitivity through meditation. Each rock has very different energy. I have often commented that rocks are like bank vaults of energy to me.

I discovered meditation through a psychic friend of mine. I didn't exactly know she was psychic at the time. I had an anxiety attack and I could sense another one coming on, so I told her someone had mentioned to me that she does some kind of healing work and asked her what it was. She said she wouldn't tell me about it, but that she would show me if I was open to that. She did a healing session and my anxiety attack was completely gone! I felt like a polished penny! She told me I could do this work on myself and manage my own energy. So I began taking courses on meditation and healing.

Three years ago I came to a crossroads through meditation. I unearthed and faced my greatest fears metaphorically through a sort of Shamanic style of meditation that seemed to just come naturally (vision journeys). It was a time of huge upheaval and transformation as a result. Since then I have consistently done personal development work, and of course continued my meditation and healing work with stones.

Recently, I met with someone who I would call a QiGong master. I at least haven't felt anyone do work on me to such a level. I talked with him about some of my stories and he told me that it sounded to him as if I was Clair Sentient. So I looked that up and it seemed to describe a LOT of my life journey. Although I seemed to relate with the Empath, and some elements of Clair Audience and Clair Voyance as well.

So I guess I am curious about where to go from here. And also to discover more about myself. For instance, I mentioned visions and I have had quite a lot of them. With some of them I have gone to the people I had the vision about for verification and what I had "seen" was confirmed. I also have LOTS of dreams. Sometimes I can tell that they are just my own issues (normal dreams). Other times I will be seeing someone's whole life played out like a movie. One long dream that seems to last all night long. Sometimes I AM this person, and other times I am watching.

Also, there are times where I simply just KNOW something. People in my life think it's kind of crazy and they say I have no proof. But the certainty is undeniable. It's very different than just strongly believing or having an opinion. It's so certain that I simply can't deny it. I have verified quite a few of those instances as well. These are things that just happen to me though. It's not like I sit down and can call it forth at will.

I guess I am at a place in my life where I've done enough work so that I no longer feel like a victim of some kind of disorder or something. I'm seeing that I simply have abilities that other people don't have, and they simply can't comprehend it.

So I am reaching out for some advice, guidance, or whatever anyone has to offer that might shed some light for this Path I am on.

Peace and Love,

Chris