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Sick Uncle


I have been dealing with a mental illness. The medications made me really sick and feeling as though my body wasn't working properly. During the cold winter months, I became extremely ill. I did the best to maintain as best as I could. I got severe headaches and had to go to the emergency room. I was turned away after being given a dose of narcotics. I couldn't get my mind to stop perceiving things. I had a vision in my mind of Jesus being crucified. As well as hearing things that weren't there. My brain totally went haywire.

Now I thought this was just me experiencing things that didn't make much sense to me. I find out a few months later my Uncle has brain tumors and is given less then 6 months to live. It was odd because all the pain in my head made sense. I don't like people looking at me like I'm crazy. This odd occurrence correlate with experiences others may be having. I often hear simple messages from people often emotional laden. They later confirm what I heard by mentioning something similar. I sometimes feel as though this isn't real and I created the incident in my mind. The thing is I'm really observant. I'm also very intent.

For some reason I have this Uncle who was really in touch with me on a empathic level. We rarely visited each other or talked much. I was pretty sick and experiencing back pains. I went to visit him one day. I mentioned my back hurt. The guy showed me his back where they had operated on him and he had lung cancer. It was the exact same spot that I was experiencing pain. I don't really know what to make of this experience. I sometimes feel as though I'm supposed to try to heal people but that is a skill that has gone unused.

As I mentioned my Uncle was very sick. I died with him in a sense I suppose. I could hear his inner struggle. I could feel him wanting to let go. I could feel his anger and pain. I knew intimately what was going through his heart and mind. This Friday he died. My mind went haywire again. My thoughts were racing I felt extremely angry. I couldn't decide to go left or right. It was very confusing. Then suddenly all the inner turmoil ended. It got peaceful and my mind was confident again and I could make decisions. I got a phone call shortly later. It was my Mother and she told me my Uncle had passed away. I would just like to mention I have a pretty good sense of people emotional states sometimes. Peoples actions don't line up with what I see on the outside or what they are telling me. I think of it as you can't bullshiat and bullshiater.

I often feel angry with people for being so fake. The way they process their emotions. From what I pick up. My Aunt is sad cause she lost her provider and lover. My Mother is sad because the thought of death angers and frightens her. She also believed him to be a great man. My cousin is always angry for some reason. It's like an endless pit of negativity but is constantly in search for a Daddy figure and sort of reminds me of Peter Pan. I'm sorry I can't always work up the emotional response others want me to. I'm not a puppet I'm my own person and I will deal with this in my own way. People often look at me as though I don't care about anybody else. I'm sort of happy to have him off my back. It's difficult managing my emotions and that of a other. I don't fully understand. Inside I sort of feel a hardness. I'm thankful for the lessons he taught me though. For a few months I gained the sense of what it means to live fully. I was living as though as I was going to die. I was appreciating life in a whole new perspective. I feel sorry that he left a young daughter behind. Mainly what I can think of is "Crap happens".

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, JessicaWho, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

PathR (4 stories) (1274 posts)
9 years ago (2015-04-30)
Meditation can help with the thoughts of not feeling clean. At which point you can open up and look at the underlying causes of fear.

You response to your uncle sounds as if you were deeply affected as Apathy is part of the process when losing a family member. To express loss does not always equate crying.
In our family soul group we can feel and experience their physical/emotional and sometimes mental.
But it sounds as if this Uncle got you (understood) you. Syncrinity you two.
His death created a Vacuum.

You are an Empathy and have a desire for Healing.

At this time you need like minded people to speak to
Who support you.

Good journey
Hecate0 (152 posts)
9 years ago (2015-04-29)
JessicaWho, I am very sorry for your loss. Have you read about "empaths", people who feel the emotions of others? You also sound clairvoyant, meaning you can read the thoughts of others. You might even be what is called a physical medium, meaning that all of these energies are even more clear to you. Amy Allen on the TV show, "The Dead Files" is a physical medium. This is one of the better TV shows related to spirits and hauntings. It sounds like you have many 'gifts', although you may not think of them this way. Meditation can strengthen you, along with yoga. I am an energy healer, and this has helped me with my focus of attention. My first suggestion would be to focus on protecting yourself, only letting in energies that you want near you. Do a house cleansing of your living space, and focus on only allowing energies consistent with your positive growth near you. Protection is first. Then, you can decide what you want to do with all of this. I am happy to chat more about healing techniques, etc. I hope this helps.

Best to you!

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