I'm actually not sure where to begin. It would be a long essay about the connections, stories, and feelings I receive from almost every aspect of my life that all seem to big of a perfect web and strings of more than just coincidence. Whether it is the abilities my family carries or the demonic forces outside that I'm afraid of.
Something drew me to your website in hopes to find answers. Hell, I actually emailed a church that believes in demons and the power in jesus christ. Pretty legit and then I find out that they revoke homosexuality completely and I knew my answer wasn't there. But I did it to find any answers at all. SO I'm posting here and had to share with you that I believe quite a few of my family members (whether they are cousins or distant relatives or immediate family members) and including myself) seem to have abilities. More so that are oppressed at the moment but calling to my sisters and I nonetheless.
I am the youngest brother of 5 siblings. 3 older sisters and an eldest half brother who is around 40 which is way older than any of us (the youngest sister being 7 years older than me... Yeah I was definitely a surprise seeing as my mom was 35.) I've recently reconnected back with my family as I "ran away" from my problems seeing as how my father died from cancer at 16. I left home at 18 for a while until I was 21.
I'd like to vouch for myself and say that I'm actually a very kind and loving person... But my problem is that I believe I am an empath. I've always felt like I was floating through people's emotions and picking up and meshing into others personalities and never figuring out which feelings were my own. I ran away from everything... I ran away from all the noise. I ran away to Michigan for a year of all places. Lol
BUT I've come back and have recently found out my sisters have a lot of experiences. Being that I am 23 now with a butt load of beautiful nieces and nephews (one nephew being older than I am?) AND with a lot more years of experiences that my sisters and I have gone through... Tonight was the night I had the moment where you're just like... Holy crap this might actually be real moment...
But whether it has to do with the different but similar abilities that few of my family members share (on my mothers side)... Or demons that have attached themselves to my sisters after being in a horrible abusive relationship. (This is only covering the surface...) ... After everything I actually really love the idea of energies, the paranormal, and odd phenomenons.
So I'd like to explore what it might mean to dive deeper into this world but I'm also very afraid. I'm afraid the bigger light that I shine and the more doors that I open the more demonic forces will be present (more than what they already are that seem to be bothering my family. Whether it is because of abusive relationships some of my immediate family has gone through or other outside forces that seem to be meddling in our lives like I said.) But the more I know the better I am to protect the family that I love so deeply...right?
I would just like some type of response or answer. I'm actually really freaking out because tonight is the first night I'm coming to terms with all of it and I'm really horrified. I'm scared that I actually am an empath because the moment I accepted it everything made sense in my life. It answered so many questions I had about myself and I found that answer within myself. I just had to listen. But there's a lot more to listen into than just my abilities.
Not really sure what I'm looking for. If you care to reach me back or if anyone is interested in hearing my stories- I'm not sure whether to post about the timeline of events of how I came to come to terms to what I am or post different stories that relate to my sisters. It's just so much and I'd love to hear back from anyone willing to listen... Anyone who is willing to help me find some more answers. Thank you.
--Ruben M. Phoenix, AZ