Since I was little I would always have imaginary friends which would be considered rather normal I guess. I've had a guardian angel who's name was Paul and I would always talk to him, and he would talk to me and calm me whenever I was feeling uneasy. I don't know what's happened but I learnt to push these things away and faced normal puberty. Restlessness was always and still is a big thing I feel throughout my whole life. One day, after a party (that was 4 years ago now, I was 16) I felt the need to lay down and have a little nap. I was at my friends house. The whole day I felt very weird and different, I felt panic inside of me and couldn't say why. The house suddenly made me uncomfortable. So I thought a nap would do me good. A few seconds after closing my eyes I saw a hand coming at me, a white hand touching my arm and I opened my eyes, screaming. That was the moment I decided I no longer could stay there. I went home and it was already dark outside. I just couldn't take it! Since that day everything changed for me. I think it all got a little bit too much for me and I suffered from panic attacks in the public and got very depressed. I had dreams so real, I was afraid of going to sleep. I could not separate dreams from reality and was afraid of seeing things. I might add that throughout my whole life things really did happen which I have had in a dream before. Just tiny little things like what people were going to wear, or what they would say to me, or recreating whole scenes.
I sometimes have people looking at me like I am a ghost. They are complete strangers, walking their dog or sitting in front of me on the bus and they stare at me with such intensity it gives me a weird feeling. They seem like they're suddenly shutting the rest of the world out and just look at me. Some with fear, some with empathy, trying to calm me and some with anger. It's always older people. And I might add it's always in such normal situations where I am absolutely doing nothing weird. Just sitting or walking. I've also have had several random (!) people coming to me telling me things about my life. Instead of it freaking me out I always felt calmness when they came to me and thankfulness.
I have no idea what all these things mean. I have been talking to many people who have psychic abilities such as feeling other people through mind connection and knowing things are going to happen before they do. I've met a lot of psychic people in the past few months and am beginning to wonder why that is and what it means. My mother has a strong connection to the psychic world sometimes as well and knows when bad things are happening to me even though I'm not talking to her during bad times. We also seem to experience very similar things in life without knowing of it. I would tell her stories about things that have happened to me and she would tell me her story. She's even had a hand touching her when she was younger as well. My mothers side of the family is from South America and my whole family there has had psychic experiences. My dad has told me stories about guardian angels who have saved his life when he was supposed to die in certain moments. Two days ago, it was full moon (my dad always says I get very affected of the moon when it's full) I had this conversation with my dad where he told me the stories of the angels, we never talked about this before as he is a very rational kind of man, believing in nothing but science. We were in the house of my grandparents, where both of them died. While he was telling me these stories I felt the tears streaming down my face, my body vibrating and suddenly KNEW that my grandparents were in the same room listening to their son, through me. The tears didn't feel like my own. It was a feeling I hardly can describe but I just know that they were there through me. Could that be? Am I slowly developing psychic abilities as well? And if so, can I control them? Most of the times it doesn't scare me but there are certain situations where I just want to shut it off because I get panic attacks of it.