There are some abilities I've had and developed as I've gotten older. I've had simple premonitions, picked up the phone cause I knew at that instant who was calling and that they needed help, known when something bad was going to happen, etc. But I became aware of my first ability when I was young, 13 or 14. My friend and I were at a concert, and she starts complaining about a headache. Way to ruin the fun, right? Somehow I just KNEW that if I reached out and touched her, she'd be okay. I touched her shoulder and pulled my hand back. Her frown went away, she looked at me and realized what I'd done about the same time I was assaulted with a headache. I'd taken her headache. It didn't last long, only a minute or two, but I took her pain into my body.
It happened again when the same friend had a stomach virus. I had come over to her house (I hardly ever get sick, I wasn't concerned about catching it) and touched her hand when she complained about stomach pain. We'd talked about my ability to take pain away, and I'd done it a few more times to unsuspecting people, always with the same result. After touching her, my stomach started hurting in waves and all of a sudden I had to go throw up. Then I formed another theory. Maybe instead of just taking their pain into me, my body was healing theirs at the price of taking their sickness into me. Sort of like my body accelerated the healing process within itself with whatever I took from other people. I tried my hand at healing once. A boy I knew had self harmed himself. He showed me the fresh cuts while he cried, and I put my hands on them and just imagined pushing energy into him. Within days, the cuts were gone. Cuts that should have scarred and scabbed and taken a week or two to even fade were erased from existence.
Then, I began to feel emotions. I got accused of reading minds, actually. Imagine walking into a store where everything is bagged, you can't see the item, but each item has a tag. If you read the tag, you can figure out what's in the bag. The tags were the emotions attached to thoughts. And just like the store, I could sift and sort through all the tags as I wanted. I could dig into someones mind and find emotions that they carried constantly. Guilt. Shame. Anger. Some strong emotion attached to a strong memory. But the thing was, I didn't know how to STOP feeling emotions. I could concentrate on one person and sift through their emotions, or I could do nothing and be bombarded with people's every whim and thought. Crowded places or rooms made me feel so jittery and jumpy, all kinds of things at once, I couldn't sit still, and I became tired very quickly. I would walk through a store and feel an emotion so dark and depressed that I'd want to run out of there crying. If I was close to a person, I could think of them in my mind and feel their emotions right then. But it became exhausting. I got to where I could feel someone's pain without touching them if I focused. And then it began to happen when I didn't want it to. I'd avoid people so I could have some quiet with just me.
So, I thought it must be like a muscle. Stop using it, it'll become weak and I'll get my quiet time. It's been a month or two since I've tried reading emotions or taking any pain away, since the last time I tried I only took a partial bit of the pain away. I eased them, but they still hurt. And it feels like my batteries are dead. That little part of me feels like it's no longer there, and I'm scared. First, does any of this fit into any sort of category, like 'tips for those who can heal and read emotions' and second, will I ever be able to reawaken my abilities? They came so easily when I was hardly aware of them, now I have to focus super hard to accomplish anything. Any help on fixing the damage I've done?