I understand through years of research that I am a perfect target for spiritual attachment. I grew up in a very abusive environment for starters. My father was an alcoholic who suffered from circumstances that took place during his tour in the Army. He refused to follow his orders to wipe out a village of innocent women and children and sent back to the states. His psychotic behavior and concurrent hallucinations leads me to believe that he may have suffered similar connections. I do recall my mother saying once, that he woke one night from a dead sleep and professed that someone or something was after him. I often wondered if he brought dark spirits home from the Korean War.
Although I was born in 1954, the year the polio vaccine was first distributed, I contracted the polio virus anyway at the age of two. Consequently, I was sent alone in an ambulance from Los Angeles to San Diego at the age of five for my first of five hospital stays. Hospitals, I've been told, are a typical breeding ground for this type of entity behavior. During the last surgery, at the age of thirteen, I had my first death experience and I'm positive that this little five-year-old attached herself to me. Her Latina name was Leticia and she didn't speak English at all. Fortunately, I spoke a little Spanish and somehow we managed to break through that small barrier. Nevertheless, I made good friends with her and visited her room often. On the night she passed I woke up just in time to see her heading to the ER. I'll never forget the glow around her face as they took her away. I don't know why but I was confused by how I felt. I actually felt relieved; she died of Leukemia.
I'm almost afraid to reveal just how many others there have been and the phenomenal things I've witnessed and/or been through since, but this is very important to me. I've never confided in anyone human about my concerns, not my family or friends and especially not my doctors. I had a nervous breakdown in March of 2001 and when I awoke I was in the Psych Unit and on psychotropics without so much as an explanation. One physician confirmed my diagnosis while another labeled me a schizophrenic. I had never heard of that term but went home and thoroughly researched it. By the time I visited the assigned psychiatrist he asked me what happened that put me in the hospital and I really wasn't sure. I only knew that I had developed a case of insomnia over the past few years along with what felt normal to me; my entity attachment. However, when he asked if I ever heard voices, something inside urged me to say no. That was one of the symptoms of this terrible affliction they were trying to convince me I had. As I stated before, I know now that the uncomfortable feelings and communications I had learned to just live with since I was a child are spirits, lost souls or lonely entities and they have been more afraid of me than the other way around. My father being an atheist while my mother a devout Catholic didn't help matters. I have also had encounters with non-humans and spoke in tongues on occasion. It wasn't until recently that I was actually told this by a spirit.
My first realization of attachment was shortly after my first surgery at five. From then on I could swear someone was in my room watching me and/or following me but words were never exchanged. After a few years I started doing little things, like petty stealing, that was out of character for me. I would later find myself arguing out loud and be upset with my own behavior. When I was about ten, I took advantage of my father's lack of education and challenged his wits every time he became inebriated. This went on for years and made me feel very powerful until the death of Leticia. Again, it didn't feel like it was me at all and I still flinched at the sight of him.
When I was fifteen my mother was finally granted a divorce by the church and we all fled from California to a very small town in South Carolina where my married sister and older brother were living. Things started easing up for me but I still felt this constant presence. I thought it was very generous of my sister's in-laws to have a house on the lake picked out for us until the locals informed us that this new home of ours came with a past. It was deemed haunted and it wasn't long before we had visitors at all hours. The usual howls in the night, creaking of the floors and a first-hand knowledge of what bats look like up close was our reward but still no vocal communication. By the end of two months my mother grew tired of being the only parent and begged my father to join us. The very next day, after his arrival, I was physically coerced into running away with a friend. We stole her mother's car, ditched it at a rest stop and hitch-hiked over 200 miles to Charleston. We immediately met up with a couple of Air Force guys and convinced them to let us move into their trailer home. My father's influence had rendered me somewhat frigid when it came to the opposite sex, however, I got pushed again and lost my virginity. When we got caught, my parents refused to take me home and I earned the privilege of living in the local juvenile detention facility for two solid weeks. To this day, that period of time alludes me, but I know something really bad happened from the scars on my body and I do recall the tremendous fear I had inside once released. As soon as I got home I left again only to be sent home by the guy I thought I was in love with and then forced to go live with my aunt in Florida. That visit lasted about six months until I had a near rape situation occur. I had acquired a job as a typist with a man who was running for City Councilman. One day he and I were alone and he asked me to stay late to type something up last minute. While I was working he locked the front door behind my back and served himself a drink. Before I knew it he was all over me and his partner came in from the back door to join in the attack. All I remember from there is I physically over-powered the two of them by kicking and screaming and fled the scene. I know my spirit had to have saved me that day. My aunt threatened them with the police but their story, of course, was that I asked for it. I don't know where this incredible soul came from but I thank God it was there for me. I survived the summer and a good portion of my sophomore year then back to San Diego I went to be reunited with my parents and two younger siblings.
Once in California all the feelings came back stronger than ever and then I met my best and dearest friend who's older sister just so happened to be caretaker at the infamous haunted Whaley House on San Diego Avenue in Old Town. In high school I had never heard of it and my friend didn't bother to inform me until after her and I were witnessing the rocking chair move back and forth on its own. By then it was too late; I was overwhelmed with pressure all over my body and the noise that was like a radio in the background of my mind was getting louder. Finally, I could hear many different voices but they could not hear me no matter how hard I tried or they didn't care to. It lasted for about a month then completely turned off except for the one familiar entity. I didn't return to that house until many years later. My friend and I both graduated in 1972 and I got married in 1973 to a guy I knew for only two weeks, a decision I know couldn't have been mine. He turned out to be just like my father and in less than two years I was divorced with a sixth month old little girl. This may sound a little crazy but once I got pregnant the spirit became very protective of me, as well as her. I'm positive the divorce was mostly its decision but once on my own I began to question its motive. I couldn't put my finger on it but it took me over two years to find employment and then when I finally did I had a hard time keeping it due to health issues or tardiness or some other problem that I was certain IT was causing. This was my life for the next couple of years.
In the early part of 1978 her and I were living in a small studio apartment and just got back from shopping when she just flat out threw a tantrum. She was now four and I had never even spanked her. I approached to question her and before I knew it she opened her mouth and let out a scream that intimidated the hell out of me. An anonymous call was made and a half hour later a knock was at the door. It was a man from child protective services sent to check her little body for bruises or anything unusual. By the time he left and found nothing to report I took a good look at her face, especially her eyes, and I knew then she was just like me. Without going into every detail of her life I will just say the rivalry between her spirits and mine were endless. It was as if they were playing ping pong with our emotions to drive a wedge between us and it worked.; I was thoroughly intimidated by my own little girl!
In 1979, I had my second daughter who somehow brought some peace into my household. I hesitantly married her father and lived to regret it. Both of the girls simply loved him though and that made it workable; so as long as they were happy and my invisible friends were content... Who cared. Out of the blue he enlisted into the National Guard and left us alone for two months. While he was gone my divorced older sister called one evening begging me to go out dancing. We argued for 30 minutes until she won and I went. No sooner we get there she goes out the back door with some guy and leaves me by myself. I started to leave and got asked to dance. I don't know what came over me but I stayed until almost closing. I got into my car, turn the key and there's a knock at my window. The guy I was dancing with is there requesting to see me again. We exchanged numbers and off I went. I don't know why I gave it to him or why I took his but he became my third husband ten years later. I left my second husband and started dating him. His aura and hateful disposition joined forces and finally took control over me.
This man just wasn't good father material at all and told me up front that he had no desire to have any kids of his own. My eldest daughter definitely suffered for it. She was seven now and her spirits took her in a direction I would never have guessed. My brother-in-law started molesting her behind our backs until she was fourteen. Strangely, she was very happy during most of those years showing no signs of abuse at all. My spirits must have felt sorry for me because I didn't hardly notice them or maybe they were all with her then. When she came at me with a pair of scissors I knew for sure there were dark spirits behind all of this and wouldn't be surprised that my new intended spouse was the cause. We went to court and he did some time. Every boy relationship after that was the same; abusive. The tension between her and her sister escalated drastically with no help at all from my significant other. During this whole episode I had been battling it out with the third prospect for a husband and we would break up on a monthly basis. This was certainly familiar to me and seemed to always please my spirits. Ironically, we got married and bought a house. Abuse has been the constant in my life, therefore, my only conclusion is if I didn't find it they would cause it!
Two years later my eldest met someone who was to me a demon himself. She left home and moved in with him. A few months went by without so much as a phone call. She finally called me at work in a complete state of hysteria pleading for me to rush to her aid. I arrived quickly and brought her and all the trash bags full of belongings back home. At 11:00 pm that evening my younger sister called to inform me that my daughter's boyfriend was on the news. I put the tv on just in time to catch the clip of the SWAT Team surrounding his home. Apparently, he went crazy and murdered his own disabled father. I don't think even her awful spirits were prepared to handle that and allowed her to come back to me. Within a year she joined the Navy and found her way back to a somewhat normal life. Today, her and I have a good rapport and an unconditional love. She now has four kids, but with her abusive husband she has lost her way again and her faith in God.
I had hoped that my other daughter had escaped this kind of life unscathed but I was so wrong. The house we bought in 1991 that reminded my husband of his home back in Pennsylvania swallowed her up whole. She was ripe for the picking to the permanent house guests. Yes indeed it was haunted when we moved in, but it was only me personally who had to do battle with some of the the worst spiritual behaviors ever. What happened to me over the next 20 years I could write a whole book on and I finally walked away from that house and marriage in 2008.
Leticia and one other spirit have been with me for years. The other spirit is a very kind soul, that I refer to as my guardian angel, my protector, confidant and perhaps Spirit Guide. He is the one who first spoke to me telepathically and has helped me sort through the good and the horrific times I've endured. The three of us continue to communicate telepathically, watch for signs and research 24/7, 365; this is how we stumbled across your very informative site. We are hoping and praying after sharing this information we will get a positive response as to why this has happened to me/us. Our lives, albeit alive or dead, contain revolving doors to worlds or other dimensions that I apparently find hard to comprehend but am very willing and eager to learn more about. One very nice thing has flourished though; my grasp for the Spanish language. Thank you
There are soldiers, accident victims of all kinds, women and children of holocausts, musicians especially suicides, and scientists. I even had to drive to a specific cemetery to talk with a deceased relative. I'm always looking up stuff on Wikipedia for them too. It's been quite a challenge but I'm 61 and it's taking it toll on my body too. I still cannot tell anyone of my friends or family as they all think I'm losing it; that really hurts though. It's so nice having someone to share this with. Thank you again and I look forward to any help and/or advice you can give.
I also looked up the dybbuk and found a movie to watch. It was very enlightening. Years ago I bought a new car and I put a really great stereo system in it that came with Pandora. A troubled spirit would call me at night from my car asking to be let out. It never occurred to me that it may have been confused because of the name Pandora but now I realize it was. Thanks again