It's a weird feeling trying to find answers to something that shouldn't be able to exist or at least modern science cannot prove with any great level of accuracy. The simplest way of describing it is like having a partition in your own head, the front part of your brain does what nearly all normal brains do, it process information taken through the traditional senses, it calculates and analysis and manages the day to day processes of my body, it causes emotions, it appears as a normal functioning brain, but behind this theirs another area running, its constant, it occasionally causes a conflict with the normal part of the brain, its as though my sub-conscious isn't as "sub" as what it should be.
I've always had deja vu from a young age, you tend to ignore it when your young theirs other stuff to be done, playing computer games, football, whatever, it doesn't fully register what you've seen and is quickly forgotten, when I was around 14 there was an incident that was so random its led me on a path to writing this some 16 years later. We were on a school trip, it was for around five days in a place called Staffordshire (UK), they do activities like canoeing, abseiling, orienteering etc stuff that you would expect to find in the scouts, one morning 3 us were in our dorm just come back from cleaning our teeth, it was one of those communal bathrooms with toilets and showers. One of the group hadn't gotten up and was in process of getting ready, he promptly walked out to go and clean his teeth. Within 20 seconds of him leaving I stopped whatever I was doing and described with perfect accuracy to my other dorm mate what they guy who just left was going to do, he was going kick the door open, announce to the room he forgot his toothbrush do a stupid dance and leave. Within 10 seconds of me finishing that statement, I saw the other guy come across the courtyard kick open our door and do exactly what I described to my other dorm mate. My dorm mate and I stared at each other for a couple of seconds before laughing it off. The actual story isn't that interesting, But the fact that I saw what was going to happen in the same way that you remember scenes from a tv show or movie, except these scenes appeared as a memory before the event happened. Although most of my memories from around that age have been forgotten that stays with me like it happened yesterday.
Moving on through life, small events happen all the time, you'll suddenly start singing a random song then it comes on the radio when your driving to work, or you'll suddenly think of a scene from a film at a random point in the day, and you'll find the film being aired later that night. Although it can't be proven i'm pretty certain the area behind the brain has saved me a couple of times, I speed when i'm driving 90% of the time and sometimes I can just see danger before theirs any evidence of it, like some idiot pulling across 3 lanes to go up a slip road without looking. All this though is pretty much useless to everyone and anyone other than a mild curiosity who can knowing this sort of stuff be useful?.
Fresh out of uni, I found a position as a broker for a betting company, probably not the greatest of career moves, but we were allowed to bet ourselves being an avid sports fan I had my opinions and put my money where my mouth was. I won a few lost a few, better than some worse than others, I was following the stats taking note of injuries or weather conditions, one day I was looking at the screen with some Spanish football on it, not the game itself, only the odds were displayed on my PC, and the numbers didn't look right, I sensed they were going to change, within 10 minutes a goal goes in and the odds change. So it turns out that I can predict if events are going to happen in football matches (I say events because its not always goals that effect the odds), but this doesn't happen in the same way it happened when I was 14.
This is something different, although I left the company many years ago I still bet and today when this article was written (17.01.16) there was a game in the Italian lega pro group A between Sudtirol and Albinoleffe, I know jack about either of these teams, but I knew that there was going to be another goal, the numbers didn't look right, unfortunately on this occasion my bet wasn't taken in time (that happens more than you think) and a goal went in making it 2-2.
Whether people believe I can do this is irrelevant to me, I've had more than enough correct outcomes to know that what I can do is true, it also opens so many questions about time, space, etc etc but that's for another time. I mentioned earlier that seeing the numbers on my screen change isn't the same as what happened when I was a kid, its actually pretty difficult to describe, it's like visualizing a sense, there is no image in my mind of what is going to happen, but I CAN see it.
BUT here's the problem, I can't control it, the ability comes and goes often months at a time, some senses are stronger than others, I also have a massive war with the front part of my brain telling me not to do something, often when an the outside bet is involved. Which leads to indecision.I'm also uncertain of whether I'm seeing these events before they happen OR fate has already said that i'm going to do this and i'm seeing the result of what i'm about to do rather than predicting the event itself.
Is anyone familiar with these sorts of abilities? Can you control or refine them some way? I've heard a few rumors of people being able to do the same thing except have much more control over it, so if any ones got any experience or information. This could actually be used to prove quantitatively that this ability exists, eg measuring the success of consistently winning over period of time, the probability can then be calculated when the combined odds of each bet won in a row are added up, and I want to become unashamedly rich of course.
On a separate note the last couple of lines of your post you mention horrifying events, I understand what I can do and my capabilities, haven't ever visualized peoples future that doesn't involve me, its always future events seen through my eyes, but I have been carrying a very negative feeling for months, its not effecting me emotionally, but its there, underneath, not strong enough to determine what it is yet. One more reason to enhance or refine this I guess.