I seem to have a problem distinguishing what some "signs" mean. One day, as I was driving down the road, I had this glimpse in my head of me holding up a cell phone. I know ya'll are going to frown on this next part, but I had a TERRIBLE habit of texting while driving. It's highly dangerous, but I made sure every time I did it I looked up every second. You always have to keep your eye on the road!
When I saw this glimpse of me holding my cell phone up while in the car, it was accompanied by really terrible feelings. As soon as I got this feeling, I immediately thought of a car wreck. After that I didn't text while driving. Even if it was just a tiny wreck, its still a HUGE pain. No wreck is really all that tiny. No matter how little damage there is. So I was going to do whatever it took to avoid this wreck. This awareness went on for maybe a little over a month. It was like I KNEW this thing was unavoidable, like it was going to happen no matter what. Little did I know... This had absolutely NOTHING to do with a wreck.
While I was coming home one night during this thunderstorm, lightning struck down the road. When it hit, I could have SWORE I saw a tornado funnel out in the distance. So I pull over to the side of the road in this turn lane, hoping to get another glimpse, and possibly get this thing videotaped on my camera phone. I sat there for maybe 45 seconds to a minute, and lightning struck again. I saw nothing. I felt completely jipped.
So I put on my blinker and try to get over, as someone is pulling in the turn lane at the time. So when I pull off, this car proceeded to follow me out of the turn lane. My heart starts racing, and then I see the blue light special. It was a Houston County Sheriff's Deputy. I'll never forget this man, as he would change my life forever. Officer Ward comes up to my car, and I am literally shaking. I HATE being pulled over, and I always get the jitters, even to this day.
He asks me what I was doing pulled over in the turn lane. I really should have just lied. That was my first mistake. As I was stuttering away trying to explain this tornado that I didn't even see, he starts shinning his flashlight all around my cab. Then I hear him ask, "Sir, what's this marijuana doing on your center console?" My hole life crashes right there. I almost burst out in tears.
I had a pretty big problem with weed, and I used to smoke everyday. Usually more than once a day. I had dropped some pot on my center console, and some shake fell into these grooves and got stuck in there. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. Especially over something so small. I was never a really bad person. I never hurt or harmed anyone. I didn't know why this was happening to me. It only got real after he put those silver bracelets on my wrists. My parents didn't know that I smoked pot, and this was the main thing I kept thinking about.
It really wasn't until he put me in the back seat of the car that I started remembering the "premonitions" I'd been having. I started laughing at myself. I seem to do this a lot with signs. I take them the wrong way, and sometimes act on them foolishly. I'm still glad it happened, but it sucks that I might have been able to avoid this.
It led me to Narcotics Anonymous, that over time, began to change my life every day I went. I have now been drug free for over a month, which isn't that big of an accomplishment, but it's more than I've been clean since I started smoking weed. I owe it all to that very night. Had I not been arrested I would have never set foot in NA. I'm very grateful for that night, no matter how much pain it caused me at the time. The rewards HIGHLY outweighed the consequences.
Maybe some signs aren't supposed to be understood until the time comes, but I would like to find out how to see the deeper meaning of some of these signs beforehand, so that I could actually avoid something serious like a car accident. Any help would be appreciated, and thank you so much for reading.