When I was much younger, my mom would hand me antique watches that would no longer work and ask if I could hold them in my hands and "think" them to work. Consistently, I could get the hands to start ticking.
My mom spent a great deal of her twenties and thirties on a spiritual path, but encountered feelings of fear in some situations as she was not sure how to control and fully understand her gifts. After the age of 8, we spoke of God and she never brought up or encouraged otherwise.
About a year ago, everything started to make sense. Everything. From why people react the way they do, to how toddlers perceive and process. Cause and effect. Everything is energy- we eat energy, we expel energy for plants to breathe, we inhale their energy- when we pass, our body fails, but our energy continues... The beauty in each day, the lesson in each detriment. The ripple created from tossing a rock out into the pond. The absolute necessity to impress only one thing upon my children and know I've succeeded: kindness. It was quite literally like a light bulb went off. The importance of people, the importance of happiness, grasping that life is short. Life is precious. We only get one.
I have always been empathetic and intuitive- and in all honesty, felt it was so normal, I didn't recognize that not all people are wired as such. I often talk with complete strangers and in asking just a few questions as to why they felt that way- that day- I could recreate their upbringing, point out their unspoken fears, identify the pivotal moment where they now had a chance to see the silver lining, etc. I pretty much, make most of them cry- not maliciously, but because of the unearthing we do in such a short period of time. I never viewed it as a gift, I thought I was just stating the obvious.
Two months ago I was surveying my fridge and pantry, trying to compile a grocery list. All of a sudden, hairs on the back of my right arm stood up. I thought maybe a gnat had landed on me and walked around, so I wiped off the back of my arm. I moved to the corner of my kitchen where the fridge is and it happens again, but more, lots more. I went to focus on the hairs to see if I had ants or something crawling on me- and kind of like those 3D posters that you would see the picture, but not by looking straight at it- when I was watching the hairs on my arm- I saw- the best I can describe is translucent, flowing, not quite swirling, energy?! From the floor to about four feet up and it lacked definition. I can't quite place the words... Then the hairs hanging around my temple, began blowing in the breeze- but- my doors were closed, the air is not on, I do not have a fan downstairs, the windows were closed. And again, when I looked at that hair- I saw that presence again, I watched it move slowly- almost fog like- over toward the bathroom. I have NEVER experienced anything like this before. I spoke to it and assured it that it was loved, I could feel it, I could see it, it was beautiful.
It looked more like when the pavement is hot and that first foot off the concrete emanates heat waves.
I have always believed in "spirits" and angels, but until that day, I had always been too busy to listen. I had never meditated- and to be quite honest, I was not in pursuit of that experience. At all. I mean sure, when my Grandmother, who was my Matron of Honor at my wedding, passed away, would I have given anything to hear her voice? Definitely! Did I openly talk out loud to her, the way some would pray, Absolutely.
I knew what I saw that evening, without a doubt- so I started reading. Thank god for google, I would sound extremely unintelligent referring to orbs as "big floaty balls".
Since that day two months ago, since I "listened"- the entire earth seems to have opened up. I next saw orbs, but did not know that's what they were called... Some the size of basketballs in blue and green. Some the size of ball point pens, glowing white with almost like a neon white fluid. But the most fascinating, the ones the size of kumquats. They looked like the bubbles toddlers like to play with, translucent, a definite edge- and a small, almost rice sized, glowing energy inside, that illuminated the outside of the bubble in that color. But they were translucent! Pink and blue and purple and green and yellow. They dissipate within a few feet or several seconds- mesmerizing. Later that weekend I began seeing purple and silver - almost like metallic Easter grass- or rapid firing neon lights in small clusters. My cat, he tracks the same things I see, I know I am not the only one. I have probably taken 300 pictures of walls and floors like a crazy person, with not a single one being absolute. And then... The purple beam of light. Of which I later looked for an believe that to be a third eye kind of thing.
That energy my became noticeable without "hunting" for it- the ability to feel energies when they are around with physical symptoms, arm hairs raising, occasionally little statics rushing through them, my hairs on my head are gently pulled from my pony tail, some of them stick out at a 45* angle- and then others are placed in my face like spider webs to get my attention. The hot spots, the cold spots, the thought that comes from nowhere "stop and listen, now, this is important..."
On a few occasions, for me, out of nowhere, I've had this happen. First time was a month ago, out to dinner with a friend I hadn't seen I8 Year's. "You need to deal with it, come to terms, let it go. I proceed to tell him things I was not privy to- he starts crying and tells me he can't talk about this, I saw a huge A, I asked, Alvin, Andrew, Alex, tell me!" It was Anthony I was shown images and somehow had words come out of my mouth that were intended for my friend, by a person I never knew. I helped my friend heal that day by examining the weight he carried that he perceived as truth. I'll tell you what, if I never knew my calling in life, it is helping people feel whole and loved and validated. I learned that - that day.
This happened again two weeks ago and really freaked out the friend I was with. It was crazy to me how feisty and pushy this woman was. I liked her, she was fierce. Come to find out, it was his grandmother- she showed things so clearly- that even I was not mistaken... Down to the fabric of the chair she always sat in when he was a child. She had a healing message for him as well- and while he sobbed- all I could think was "there is no possible way in life to better help others" my goodness, what a GIFT.
But why me? Why all so quickly? What am I missing?! I feel there is a lesson to be learned in each situation one encounters. I keep receiving these beautiful gifts and all I can see is the astonishing blessing in each.
Please tell me others have similar experiences. Please share with me how to improve to share with others. Please help me understand.
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Best,
Rob