I'm relating this story because I'd love to get the communities input. I'm part skeptical, but I just had a very powerful experience that I can't wrap my brain around. I found this site while Google searching for similar phenomena. So far, I can't find anything, which is why I submit this now. I might be crazy. Warning: this is sort of a dream, but unlike anything I've ever experienced.
To begin, I think I've always been a little sensitive (or perhaps willed myself to believe that I was). There was a period of time in my 20s that I tried to explore this, and I cultivated my ability to "tune in" to an otherwise unheard frequency, not unlike finding a channel on a radio station within the static. I got "pokes" from people who wanted to talk to me, and if I "tuned in" or even if I didn't, I got images and sometimes voices that had no basis from my life. I didn't hear these or see these physically manifested, but rather internally. I finally "tuned out" because it was getting in the way of life in some cases, and I felt that I didn't know how to do enough to get people into the "light..."
I have since reflected that maybe this was some kind of period psychologically that I needed in some way, and wonder if I can explain things away as it being an entirely internal phenomenon (i.e., crazy). But I have had some external confirmation from others who had no reason to blow smoke. I just don't know anymore. They seemed real to me. But the experience of last night has left me wondering again. I probably can explain it psychologically, but I wondered if anyone had heard of anything like this.
So, a few days ago, my wonderful next-door neighbor passed away in his sleep. He was young, but diabetic, and didn't take very good care of himself; there are suspicions of a drug overdose. However, he was the light of everyone's life, everyone's best friend. He was a closeted gay man in a predominantly Mexican community, and he told me several times that this was very difficult, because his family had issues with "how he was..." Thus, I believe his substance abuse was a form of self-medication. I am not Hispanic, but I've known him for many years, and he always cut my hair to perfection. He took care of all the neighborhood children and his mother. The community has suffered a terrible loss.
Last night was the wake, and more people were there than could be contained in the funeral home - truly a testament to how many people he touched. Standing in the group listening to the rosary, I felt very light headed, and worried I might pass out, although I think it was probably due to all the people and the incense, even though I'm not prone to this at all.
My boyfriend and I went home and wept together, remembering our friend, and went to bed early. About 2am I woke up to fix the fan, which had fallen over, and started to fall back asleep. As I was falling asleep, I remember that I was lying facing the fan while in bed, and I could sort of see my room surroundings, like the TV and alarm clock. I don't think what happened next was a waking dream, but more like I was half-awake or just falling asleep so I could see things through half-parted eyelids.
As I was drifting off, suddenly a huge shadow appeared from my right side above my head from the top of the bed. It was a blackness that was so dark that it was the opposite of void. It had substance; it was a thing. I wasn't alarmed, but more curious-like. In my "dream" I reached out to touch it, but I couldn't because there was a "force field" that prevented me from touching it. It was so cold that it burned when I got close. It began to whisper in my ear, but I couldn't understand what it was saying. I listened so intently, but was unable to understand. It went away. So I asked it to come back.
It did - right away. And it repeated its message - a very clear whisper, but not in any language I knew - and left. Then I asked it to come back again, and it did (but I felt that it was a little exasperated at this point), and it repeated its whisper message. I listened so carefully, but I couldn't understand it. It left.
And then I "awoke..." So I don't know if this was grief manifested, or something else. I don't know if it was my friend, but I'd not like to remember him as a black shadow, even if that doesn't necessarily mean either bad or good. I didn't sense malevolence. But it freaked me out a little, and I slept poorly the rest of the night with racing, nonsensical dreams. I've had friends who had "night terrors," (of being awake and not able to move while something happens around them) and this didn't seem like that. It was so powerful, and real. I've never experienced anything like it. But I remain skeptical about it, and so I submit it for your consideration.
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