When I was a young child I knew things that I couldn't possibly know. I knew what had happened to people and animals. And sometimes what -would- happen to people that I knew.
When I hit puberty I lost those abilities. Or I thought I had. It seems that it's coming back to me now that I have children of my own.
The first time that comes clearly to mind happened when I was only 6 or 7. I know that there had been other times, but this one hit me very hard.
Growing up my family had a lot of cats. There was one that was my favorite. Her name was Marmalade. She was a sweet tortishell kitten and would curl up with me whenever I sat down. I would tell her my thoughts and feelings and she always seemed to listen to me.
One day I walked out into my front yard. I was nervous about something, but couldn't figure out why. Then I saw the tip of her tail from around the corner of the house.
That side of the house always got a lot of sunshine, so the cats would sit over there to sun themselves. I shouldn't have freaked out over seeing just the tip of her tail around the corner. But I did.
I started screaming hysterically and I blacked out. My mom said that I was talking very quickly saying that she'd been killed... And going into detail about who had done it, where it had been done, exactly what had been done to her, and why.
The vet who examined Marmalade's body was astounded to hear that a little girl knew what had been done to my poor cat. There were arrests made after details that I'd talked about were verified.
The second experience that stands out was a few years later.
My mother and I had gone on vacation, just the two of us. On the way home I started seeing a sort of inverted cone coming towards me on the road and I panicked. I knew something bad was about to happen at home and kept telling mom to pull over and call the house.
She didn't want to believe me, but I kept screaming at her that my sister was having an asthma attack and dad was out of the house and my baby sister couldn't find the inhaler.
So she called the house from a pay phone and I was right. My baby sister was sobbing because she couldn't find my other sister's new inhaler. Our dad was, indeed, out of the house drinking with the neighbor across the street.
The years passed and I thought that I wouldn't see things like that again. I was wrong.
I've discovered that I can "read" tarot cards with usually perfect accuracy. I can see/feel spirits (and sometimes catch my children playing with them or them playing with my children). I can soothe injuries with my touch and know where problem areas are in other people just by "feeling" their energy.
Those things don't frighten me at all. It's just part of me that I deal with.
What frightens me is when I see/feel "shapes" coming towards me. I know that it means something bad is going to happen to someone I care about.
I knew when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I knew when my baby sister was in the hospital and they discovered a brain tumor that will, eventually, kill her. I knew when my niece was injured by her mother. I knew when my husband was almost killed by a bomb in Iraq. I knew when my cousin was shot in the hip.
Knowing these things doesn't help me. It just means that I'm burdened with knowing something that I can't do anything about.
Any ideas on how to control that particular aspect of my abilities? I know that I'm not alone, but I don't even know where to go in this area to begin getting help.