I should probably begin by saying that I was- and still kind of am- a skeptic. Though being a skeptic causes a lot of turmoil for myself sometimes, I've stuck to my guns, and stayed skeptical, however stupid is sometimes seems.
For as long as I can remember - which, granted, is not much at all. Before my 14th birthday, things are very vague. Barely even a glimpse of a memory. But what little I do remember, involves having many dreams, which then came true, silly dreams that can easily be explained, such as seeing a woman in a red jumper pushing a pram outside my junior school as I stood at the gate.
I have also always, or at least for as long as I can remember, felt like a part of me was screaming, accusing me of being a complete idiot and wasting time. I'm monumentally bad at wasting time:) But I like to think I'm not a complete idiot.
Quite recently, I've been having much stronger 'feelings', gut feelings, hunches, that sort of thing. Multiple times I've been with my mother, driving down the motorway, and, at first, I only subconsciously thought; it's always so horrible when people die in car crashes, and consciously thought; I hate it when people die. When someone gets run over, or hit by a car.
Recently, as in the past month or two months, I've consciously thought of my hatred for car crashes, only once or twice have I thought about people dying in car crashes. After thinking it, we've always driven past a car crash, within minutes. Only when I think it's horrible when people die have there been fatalities in these crashes.
I also can judge moods of people- albeit, not all the time, and even then, only with certain people. But that can also be explained, because the people I can judge are usually people I know.
My Grandmother used to tell my mother that she was 'sensitive', if not psychic, and my mother also believes she is sensitive. When my Grandmother died, I knew and called the hospital minutes after her death.
Obviously, I now have a morbid fear of cars, and driving fast. So much that I feel heavy and sick when we get in the car, but more because I'm completely convinced my mother and I are going to be in a crash, and I've had many dreams of car crashes with my mother and me in the car.
Since speaking with my mother about this, I've felt a lot less like I'm being torn apart, like one side of me is screaming and accusing me of idiocy, as I mentioned before. And though some of the feelings have gotten much stronger, the general heaviness has lifted somewhat.
Apologies for the long post, I hope it makes sense, and I look forward to any comments I receive, I just need a little closure. Even if you all just laugh at me and tell me it's nothing at all. Opinions are appreciated.