II have always had an inner voice that helped me with little things like direction and reminders that I have learned to ignore at my own peril, that I jokingly call "the gift". I've also just known that certain random things would happen, and when they come to pass I've always written it off as coincidence. I'm not suggesting that I am psychic, because I'm not sure I believe it's possible or not, but I had a couple interesting experiences in the last six months that make me wonder.
About three weeks before we learned that my adoptive mother's melanoma had returned with a vengeance, I dreamed that I saw her in her casket in the funeral home. It was disturbing, and I told my wife about it.
Six months later my mother lay in a hospital bed on a ventilator from a massive stroke from complications from her cancer. One thousand miles away with three small boys and a wife, there was no way I was going to get to the hospital quickly. My sister flew in that evening to meet my brother and father at the hospital.
Sometime that afternoon they related to me that she was brain dead, and that they were going to take her off life support. I was devastated because I had not had the proper chance to say goodbye, and it would be impossible to be present for the end. I asked my brother to tell her that I loved her out loud, and to call me when she had passed.
Emotionally exhausted I could not keep my eyes open, and retired at about one a.m., awaiting the inevitable call that never seemed to come. As I lay in bed suddenly unable to sleep I thought of my mother and our life together. At about one fifteen I felt a strange tickling sensation "enter" my chest and it seemed to radiate or grow through my shoulders up into my neck and face, as if something entered my heart and was passing through my body. I felt a warm pressure on my face as if hands where patting and cupping my cheeks and forehead. I have never felt anything like this before and was alarmed, but the feeling was warm and seemed loving.
I began to cry and in my mind I asked, "Is this you mom?" "I love you, and I'll miss you," I said. For what seemed like ten minutes the feelings persisted, and then diminished as quickly as they came. I sat up and looked at the clock, it read 1:27 a.m. I considered waking my wife, but didn't and fell asleep shortly after.
In the morning I checked my phone and saw that my brother had called at 1:36 a.m. I called and spoke with my sister and told her of my experience. She said that they had removed the ventilator somewhere around ten after one, but that mom had passed at one thirty. I was off by three minutes. We buried my mom on Thursday in Pittsburgh, and I pretty much convinced myself it was all my imagination.
Returning to Tallahassee I checked the clock in my bedroom with my cell phone. The clock in the bedroom is exactly three minutes slow, which means my experience actually ended at 1:30, the time of my mother's last breath. I don't know if it was her spirit, or if I had some kind of psychic connection with her, but I know that it was real and that it happened. Take it how you well, but it's got me thinking.