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Dealing With Fear Over Seeing Spirits


I don't know what to do. Every once in awhile I'll have a very nice ghost pop out of nowhere and scare me have to death and ask me something. But my problem is that I'm so freaked out that someone dead is talking to me that I act like I can't hear or see them. I made the mistake of that once by doing that to a not-so-happy ghost and she got in my face.

My most recent one was a teenage girl that showed up first to my mom who ignored her and then to me who in turn also ignored her. I feel bad just leaving them hanging. How can people talk to them without feeling like their going to have a heart attack or something? How can I get the courage to talk to, help, or deliver a message for this ghost? It all and all freaks me out.

I have a baby and I don't know if I'll be passing on my "gift" to him. If it does pass on, I don't want to give him advice like hide or run. I feel very weak in my situation and very annoyed at not knowing what to do. My husband understands and he supports me in finding out how to manage my "gift". I just want to know if there are schools or support groups or something. I really just want to talk to other people who have gone though or are going through the same thing as me.

I'm only 19 so I know I can still learn to use it but I want to make sure I'm doing it right.

Any suggestions?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, MamaAlvarez020707, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Timfaraos (426 posts)
9 years ago (2015-03-04)
A mother of a friend of mine, was a christian, in holland. She once went to a spiritist church-where psychic mediums perform seances, to contact/channel spirits. It was a room, with a 20 metre long, heavy oak table in it. She walked in and shouted: 'WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS EVIL!'...and that table, lifted up 1 metre into the air, by itself! LOL! That proves that the spirits in there WERE EVIL, not from God. Because it is forbidden by God to summon/channel spirits!... You open the door for them to haunt your life, invade your private space whenever they want, and eventually control an possess you! These are DEMONS in disguise, because God never allows an angel or a saint or a dead person, to come through to us, by using occult practices: mediums, ouija board, tarot cards, foretune tellers... JESUS and the saints NEVER did these dangerous things, they just PRAYED! So why should we do them, are we better, or more spiritually advanced than Jesus and the saints?! I don't think so... Don't play with fire, you will get burnt! CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT! Stay safe. God bless!
Pablo15 (1 stories) (7 posts)
14 years ago (2010-05-20)
I have the same thing happen to me but my family don't see them only me. You shouldn't get scared their just dead thts all they are just there to ask for help nothing else but if it is a strange feeling or a bad feeling then avoid that one it mit want to hurt you. As I write this I saw a demon but it's nothing.
sing_your_heart_out (2 stories) (2 posts)
15 years ago (2009-01-16)
Well, looks like you aren't alone. 😊

I have the same problem, except I'm a little younger. If you have any advice to pass on to me, that would be great. I could use it. 😕

Haha, just thought it would be helpful to know that there's someone out there who knows EXACTLY what you're talking about.

Best of luck.
one_of_a_kindxo (2 stories) (13 posts)
15 years ago (2009-01-15)
i go threw the same thing. I just get so nervouse because I do no that not every ghost is going to be nice. There is evil in the world and I'm so afriad that they want something from me. I always see this 12 year old girl and she always wants something from me and I get very nervous 😕
lrkmedium101 (7 stories) (105 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-09)
you have to overcome, talking to it won't give you a heart attck, I'm a medium and at first it is scary but then you realize they're were and are people. Not monsters. About the bad ghost tell it to leave, don't bother you family.
Best of luck
❤ Leah
oscar (1 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-07)
There are sometimes when the fear makes the situation worse for us, we have to be aware that when God give us the "gift" in the same package come all the tools we need to use it in the best way. You are not just Psychic but medium and you have the greatest abilities to help those who need help. I don't know anyone who has the gift that is not scare and it happens the same to male and females. True it is that when you are a medium you do not only see good spirit but "dark ones" and demons also, not trying to scare you but you have to know. The good ones will not cause you trouble but the not very good ones will try to trick you or make your body sick at times, they also drain a lot of energy from you but You and only You have the strength to overcome the negative part of your abilities. I have never have any king of training and my abilities are being developing little by little and now I feel stronger that 3 years before. The tricky part of this is discerning among spirits, and what are your thoughts and what is not. You don't have to ask anything to a spirit if you don't want to, they will find the way to let you know what they want, who they are and how you can help them. They look for you because the kind of light you have as a spirit. Sometimes you are not going to be able to keep them away at all even if you shut off your abilities they will find the way to reach you depending on how important is the message to be pass.
Before you go somewhere to develop your abilities practice protecting yourself with the "golden light" coming from above and surround yourself with it from head to toe.

Your son definitely had the gift and don't worry he comes very strong, when the time comes you will know how to handle it.
Oracle101 (2 stories) (506 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-04)
I would also like to add that the first step is to not be scared of what you see. In order to help the spirits they need to feel welcomed. Obviously it is a shock to see a spirit so you might naturally jolt and feel startled, but after you understand what/who they are next talk to them like they are a real physical person standing in front of you. Pretend you are meeting with a friend. Smile and offer to help them. It is the first thing they need to hear. Second, ask their name (get first and last name if possible). Third, ask what they need or want.

You are lucky to have a husband who acknowledges your gift. As for your son, once he is at an age when he will understand then be open about your gift and assure him it is not scary and that you use it to help people. He will be proud of you, rather than afraid.
Oracle101 (2 stories) (506 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-04)
Definitely watch the TV series "Ghost Whisperer" and "Medium". Those shows helped me a lot in understanding my gift more. I do not physically see spirits as you do but I do see them that way in my dreams, and in my daily life I sense them and see them only with my inner third eye and only if I want to. Let me know if you have anymore questions.
Gillian7293 (1 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-03)
I too see spirits (usually when I've been sleeping at night and wake suddenly to see someone in my presence). I'm absolutely petrified too! I want to, really want to, be able to not be so afraid, but I can't help it. I stiffen up, I gasp and then try to 'block' the image of the spirit out of my head... I also cower under the covers for the remainder of the night - the covers being my 'shield' in a sense. I know I'm missing out on developing my abilities, but my my fear of the unknown overwhelms me.
hound7 (31 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
I don't know if this will help... But...
Whenever I see a dark spirit or a demon, something compells me to "chase" it. I track it down, and, in an attempt to protect itself, will enter into me. This causes a violent, internal conflict, that involves me snarling, foaming at the mouth, and fending off this dark spirit. The odd thing is... When it's over... I feel... Great!
Well, anyways... One time, I gave chase to what I THOUGHT was a demonic spirit, but was really the ghost of a little boy. I probably scared the poor kid half to dea--... Well... Maybe that... Nevermind!
My point is, I felt really, really bad for chasing him. My advice is to be careful who you ignore...
academylin (14 stories) (303 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
Kiyuet, (forgive me) May I call you Kiy,
There are three main forms of the big " C "
Forgive the spellings, (you might, the board won't!)
People that hear, see and sense the spirit world... There is another one, one where they smell the spirits ie; if they've been smoking pipes, or picking lavender, that kind of thing... Can't remember what that's called, could figure into "sentience", or we could make up our own name if you like...
Any suggestions?
See you on the flip ❤
MamaAlvarez020707 (1 stories) (4 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
AnneV I agree with you completely I was raised in the film industry and totally have it embedded that ghosts are scarey and want to hurt me or something... After hearing all your input I really think that I'm going to find a place to teach me how to accept and not be so frightened. Maybe I can include my mom in the process and we'll all learn to used our gift with honor:D
MamaAlvarez020707 (1 stories) (4 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
academylin I really liked your advice. I didn't know that there were churchs out there for mediums. I've been looking for a church I could feel comfortable going to. I've been googling spiritualist churches in my area but they're all kind of far. I'll continue looking and thanks a ton!
MamaAlvarez020707 (1 stories) (4 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
Kiyuuketsuki it is a feel at first and then I can see them clear as day. I know that other people have had this but I heard that you have to be really in tune with your senses... I just don't know what I'm doing to turn it on and off. I can go months with nothing and then days with a specific one. But I only hear them when they speak or make a lot of noise (move things) but its rare for me... I think that's why it scares me so much
Kiyuuketsuki (1 stories) (4 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
Interesting... I myself am not much of a psychic, and though I do see some forms of "energy" and I know a few people who see these as well. I, along with these people, see lingering matter in the air. It doesn't really have a shape, it's conantly in fusion, and from what I've seen, they move really quickly. There are white ones, grey ones, and dark purple ones. It's surprising that you claim to be able to see and hear people. I have not heard of this, and most of the mediums I am in touch with call this impossible. And to you, is it more like sight, or is it more of a feel? Please reply.

- A novice medium
academylin (14 stories) (303 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
Hello Mama A,
CONGRATULATIONS! (I know it doesn't seem right to celebrate at the moment!) However you are naturally clairvoyant!
As you wish to discover how to use this ability correctly then it is only common sense to seek out your local spiritualist church or centre. In the past these places were perhaps frowned upon and the things which occoured in there were maybe looked on as esoteric or supernatural... They're not and it isn't, The mediums which work there or the person who runs the organisation will be able to steer you in the direction of a spiritual development circle, where you will meet like minded people and will be instructed, from the basics first, in how to use and control your talent, plus all the neccesary grounding techniques.
I don't wish to alarm you but make sure you are aware the first time that you attend one of these church/ centre meetings for details of the course, that you are entering a place where the spirits are willed/ asked to come to, so as long as you are prepared to meet a whole load of strangers in spirit and won't get too freaked out... You should be fine!
Incidently, if you tell them quietly in your mind that you are new to all this and to please step back... They should listen!
Lucky you!
See you on the flip! ❤
YVE72 (5 stories) (212 posts)
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
AnneV...I absolutely love this reply. You said it perfectly. Thank you for framing it that way. I didn't mind the voices, but for the longest time I had NO desire to actually SEE spirits.

Truly they are no different than us and deserve the same respect & compassion. (Unless they're mischief makers. In that case, I'll use the words of a comedian..."You don't have to go home, but you gotta get the heck up outta here! 😆)

Thank you.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
15 years ago (2008-12-02)
Though your mother, by inference, shares your gift, she obviously doesn't know enough to have taught you at a younger age not to be afraid of people. And people is all they are, though their intrusion is sudden and not always wanted.

Ghosts are people that have passed on. Will you be more 'afraid' of your mother when she too passes on? Of course not. We've demonized ghosts and have created fear in our children because we make it more than it is. Your son won't be afraid if you change your attitude and beliefs about what you're dealing with. Stop fantasizing about corpses in graveyards and start looking at reality. The reality is that these are human beings without a shell. Show them the same compassion as you would someone who is in a physical body. Remember too your day will come to pass on and you'll still be you.

You're on the right track by not telling yours son, when the time comes, to run or hide. He'll grow up with a healthy understanding and attitude of our spirts and probably make a wonderful contribution to this world and the next.


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