I recently re-connected with a friend from High School. We were only peripheral friends then, and only for maybe a year. I hadn't thought of him but a couple of times since 1988. Both of our lives continued on our own paths. I need to mention that I do not believe in coincidences, and am looking for a bit of insight on what he is to me.
In September, my father passed away, and on my way down there I flew through Salt Lake City, which is where he is currently living. A short time after that, we found each other on-line; 3 days after his re-birthday. He mentioned he had tried to find me a couple of times before, also, but I know I was disconnected. Previous to this, my inner-self was anything but peaceful. Immediately following our first exchange of e-mail, I was overcome with calm and peace. I didn't feel to my core alone. I handled chaos differently, I smiled more and I was no longer constantly on the brink of exploding at every little issue. We found out that we had MANY similarities that not a lot of people we knew had (writing poetry, affinity with vampires, recent switch to raw/natural diet, nomadic tendencies, love of travel, both flirts, salsa dancing, horseback riding, wanting to travel to the same places, love of reading/learning, belief in past lives and personal power, detesting TV-all seemingly innocent similarities, except neither of us knew anyone else who had ALL of it in common). We very quickly became the closest friends, sharing things we couldn't share with many others (meditative experiences, my trip to Florida-odd in itself, our spiritual explorations). Then we started texting and calling one another. There are certain things I know before they happen and I regularly get messages of where to find missing items. I know when certain people are going to call before they do. He became one of them. One of my leg muscles will tingle right before the phone rings, but only for his call/text-I kept my cell in my pocket for awhile. Electrical sensitivity? My deja vu's have increased. We are happy to simply share space.
Anyway, things became a bit more cool. I was helping my daughter with her homework one day, and I got a feeling of HIM in my own hand. Like he was part of what I was doing. It happened again a couple of days later while I was taking a clip out of my hair. During a couple of "dreams", one of which I know was a visitation with my father, I laid down with someone after speaking with my dad, and without seeing him, just by the feeling, I knew it was this guy. I have had that happen several times in dreams. We are together, I literally feel him, his essence. Not like a touch, but it resonates from my solar plexus and spreads through my entire body. One night I woke up with an actual scent. My words were, if he smells like plumeria, I'm in trouble.
Through messages in my dreams and meditations, we ended up in our hometown at the same time. The experience was incredible as we participated in two channelings. It was the most welcoming, comfortable weekend of my entire life. Everyone that congregated was meant to be there.
I knew what I was doing. I was going to see if this person was someone I was meant to be with, or if I was creating some story in my head. When he opened the door and we hugged hello, it was comfortable and I felt like I was home. One participant, someone neither of us had ever met before, said I should be sitting next to my boyfriend. When I said we actually hadn't seen each other in 20 years and weren't "together", she commented on us looking like "we were together". Though both of us had a look when we looked into each others eyes after that comment. When we sat together... And the first time we touched, there was no electricity like there usually is when there is excitement or nerves - it was like a merging. Just a completely natural feeling. I had no nerves at all-totally unlike me. I'm usually so insecure and feel so out of place! We went out one night and whatever scent he was wearing smelled just like this candle I purchased in November, and I had been burning up until right before I left. One that was the last one in the store, way in the back of the shelf. A very unique blend of scents.
This man is everything I find desirable. Long hair, musician, tattoo, spiritual, down to the glasses. So not the actual man I married (we are separated). I started writing a short story about our growing relationship before our trip. Several little things actually happened. Seems like someone I would have pined over all these years, but like I said I had barely thought of him for 20 years.
Please, some insight on what he is, what this is. I've got a couple of theories that include past lives together and soul mates. Got any others? Maybe I just need some validation. If it's meant to be, it will be, I have faith in that.
We have put the intentional growth of our relationship into hibernation, which I also dreamed doing WITH him, due to the unpredictability in both our family lives. The progression of symbols in the dream mirrors what actually has happened. I'm waiting for another... This does not mean we have stopped sharing space. Neither of us are willing to do that. We know what we have in each others friendship.
BTW, the spot at the center of his forehead, at his hairline, smells like plumeria:)