My story is about the dreams I have had involving a long lost love. I grew up in England, and when I was 16, I fell madly in love with a girl who meant everything to me. We were together for a few years and shared every available moment together.
I once dreamed that we were splitting up and I remember waking up actually crying. Well when I was 18 we did split and I regretted it ever since.
I lost contact with her, and we had not spoke to one another for over 15 years. I managed to find her on Friends Reunited and wrote to her. I never received a reply, but I kept trying for two years, writing many messages. I would dream of her often, and would write the content of the dream. In these dreams I saw that she wanted to speak with me. She worked in a school. She had a son named Sam. She lived near unspoiled hills/mountains. Well, my father passed away recently, and suddenly I received a message from her. She explained that she didn't know why she checked the site, but felt she had to. It was then she read all the messages I had sent her. She wrote back, and told me that she does in fact work in a school, she lives near the peak district in England. She had a son named Samuel in 2006.
I asked her if she was joking around as I had written this in my messages to her, she confirmed it to be true. I believe that she visits me in my dreams. They are so strong, that I wake up having to adjust to take in the real surroundings. I am so happy when I wake up, it feels like I was actually in her presence.
I love her still. My feelings for her have never changed. The only problem I seem to be experiencing is a feeling of dread. She is married with two young children, and though I have not dreamed it, I get the strong sensation that her husband is cheating, there is an untruth which I cannot pin point. I have visions that she will be alone. I am afraid that my feelings for her are somehow clouding my perception and fooling my mind into seeing what I may secretly desire. I do not want her to be sad or alone, and want her to be happy. I can't help it though, I can't seem to shake off this dreaded sensation. I have not dreamed of her since we began writing to each other. I know she visits me in my dream state. We are 6 thousand miles apart, and it has been nearly 20 years since I last saw her, but I feel the connection is still there. I feel she feels it too, but she is hesitant to express her deepest feelings about me. I think she is afraid to let her true feelings come to the surface. I actually want to be wrong about my sensing that her husband is cheating on her, I do not want her heart broken. I cannot tell her either.
What do you believe, do you feel my love for her is clouding my perception and I harbor a secret desire for her to be single again? Is it this desire which is making me feel false sensations?