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A Growing Psychic Who Needs Help

 

My name's Tori and I am sixteen years old. Please forgive me if this is a bit long and open subject, I just have a lot to say.

For as long as I can remember I have been different. When I was in kindergarten I would think about complex things such as "how many people are driving right now?" I asked questions constantly, and always wanted to learn. I would often times see lights floating around my bed late at night, and see auras.

As I grew so did my "gift". I would have deja vu at least twice daily, and always thought I could control the wind. But that may be irrelevant. When I had these deja vu's, I would tell my friends. Word got around, and, well, I was outcasted. I had to convince people I was "normal". When I was in forth grade, I started to question religion, and asking questions such as "Is there a God?" and "Where do you go when you die?" I began to see what I think to be spirit shadows, always in the corner of my eye. But one day I saw a full person, a girl with long black hair, running through a wall. This scared me to no end, and I shut myself off to anything to do with being psychic.

I only began to pick up the interest again when those ghost shows started. When watching these shows my mom would tell me about her experiences, and things about how being psychic ran in our family. Always on the woman's side. With this realization things came flooding back. I was seeing shadow people again, in addition to orbs. I could predict the future, though not in great detail. I would get glimpses of the past, and knew that my mom had been kidnapped and raped when she was fifteen, before she told me. I knew when my Grandpa was going to die. This was all in sixth grade.

When I went into middle school, I finally found a friend that I could tell my experiences to. She was also a bit psychic, but her parents were very religious and she could tell them nothing. I was finally excepting that I had a gift, and things kept coming. I would smell things out of the blue, like cigarette smoke, or lavender and lilac. I could sense when a spirit was in the room by a sensation of falling in my stomach. I told my friend all of this and she believed me to a point. Then we had a sleep over at her house with another girl who was "psychic". This girl decided to have a séance, not with an Ouija board or any thing, just reaching out. We got our answer. After that night my friend didn't believe anything I told her, and I was once again an outcast.

I've made new friends and have refined my abilities, they all think I'm nuts. So I stopped telling people. I know what some of my past lives were, and one of my lover's name. As I get older my abilities become more and more advanced. But with my gift comes fear. I advanced more in contacting spirits than anything else, and it's scares me. Because it scares me, I have begun to shut myself down again, just as I did when I was younger.

I don't want to lose my abilities, but I don't want to be afraid to be home alone. I don't want to be an outcast. If you could help me in advancing my abilities, it would be greatly appreciated. But also, how do I block things when they are not wanted?

I'd like to add that, for some reason, I know it sounds weird, but I never thought I was going to live very long. I didn't think I would alive after sixteen, quite honestly. I've had this feeling for as long as I can remember. Also I've always thought I was destined for something much bigger. What is this?

I could say so much more but this is getting rather long. Thank you for your help.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, White_Butterflies, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

TheShatteredMiirror (3 stories) (3 posts)
 
8 years ago (2013-06-10)
Whoa, a lot has happened to you. About the outcast thing, I too have problems with that. Only my mother and cousin know about the psychic abilities, but I am always feeling like an outcast. Even when I'm with close friends. I don't really get it...
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-23)
A few things yall should take into account. 1, the massive wave of narcissistic thought in our young generation. 2, the power of our subconscious mind. 3, the mental strain effects of being rejected growing up. Stress has pushed me into what I do. I just learned today I'm probably an empath. I felt your words. I imagined your life. I'm doing it now and am starting to tear up. I'm sorry you lost your friend. I have experienced a very great amount of rejection in my life. I think what I can do was unlocked by all the pain iv felt. Anyway, I'm kind of rambling now.
lauren21295 (2 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-03)
Tori... Almost everything you mentioned sounds like me! I have deja vu very often and I have dreams that come true a lot. I also used to think that I could control the wind and I remember things from when I was six months old. I told my mom all about her wedding day even though I wasn't born yet and have never even heard about it. Honestly, I'm kind of scared. One time as we were driving past a cemetery at night I could see whitish glowing figures next to the headstones, and some were moving. Lately I've been seeing white flashes at night as I'm about to fall asleep, and for the past year, I've been hearing a purring sound in my room before I fall asleep... Oh yeah and I'm 15. If you have any advice or need anything please email me at beeles1 [at] hotmail.com
jupenun (5 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-01-03)
omg...you just scared me to death white butterflies!

The part where you said that you always thought you were going to die pretty young and that you felt destined to somethign big... I have had those exact feeling word for word... Back when I was 16. I was also very very depressed all the time. Now that I'm 19... Things are kind of different... And I'm about to scare a lot of people but here it goes... I still feel like I'm destined for something big, but now... I feel like the whole world is going to end. And its not a scary feeling... Its more like I know this as a fact... Like my soul tells me. All I can tell you white butterflies is that I have had those exact same feelings... And my opinion is that something big is going to happen and we're going to have to help because I think that when this big thing happens, whatever it is, there's going to be a lot of suffering. And thisis only an opinion butterfly becuase I'm just as clueless as anyone. One advice I would give you is that we should get closer to god... I say we because I need to take my own advice too lol

If someone has any idea of why we would have these feelings... Please tell us... My email is nunez14cali_guy [at] yahoo.com
CuriousPsychic13 (16 stories) (141 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-10-17)
When I was in third grade I had a dream that I asked a girl in my class if I could borrow a pencil, she said okay and when I reached my hand down, the pencil had been standing up, and suddenly my hand was in terrible pain, and when I looked, the pencil was THROUGH my hand. In my real body, my hand was heating up and moving. I woke up, scared so bad I was shaking, and realized it was time for school. I tried to shake the dream off, and it didn't. So when I went to school, I asked for a pencil, and as my hand was reaching for it, I suddenly noticed everything was like it was in my dream, I stopped my hand, and it was not even an inch from the tip of pencil. After that I sort of shut down too. Since then, I just knew I was different. Now, I'm 13 and trying to make my powers stronger. I'm embracing it a lot more and I'm feeling better. Try meditating, it'll probably help:)
moondream (4 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-10-11)
Finally I've found other people close to my age that have the same issues as me! Everyone around me is worried about clothing, and shopping... And I'm constantly worrying about psychic experiences.
Ever since 4th grade, I felt like I could control the wind- especially at night, or cold and foggy days. You're not alone. I have a friend that feels she's going to die before she's twenty as well- and she has a theory... Unfortunately, I am not allowed to share. So sorry! Contact me, PLEASE!
LetumDea (guest)
 
12 years ago (2009-09-06)
You're not alone in this world. Many people share your experiences. When you said that you think you can control the wind, you probably can. It's the same thing with me but I think I can control water. When I get really upset, I think I've made it rain one time for a week straight. And sometimes I would wake up and a few seconds later it would start raining. Last time at like 5pm it had rain and the next day it rained again the exact same time.
Ursala (48 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-18)
WB, Dreaming & waking up inside your dream (& knowing this) is called "lucid dreamining". Yes, I have had this happen on many an occasion. Try and have fun with it. You can then control your dreams & their outcomes, particularily if you don't like the way the dream ended, go back and change the ending! Remember that you're in control.
White_Butterflies (1 stories) (6 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-17)
I would like to add something. Since I was fourteen, when I sleep, I know I'm sleeping. Does this happen to anyone else? And if so, is there a way to use it to strengthen my abilities?
White_Butterflies (1 stories) (6 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-17)
Thank you for all the wonderful comments! They're a big help.

To katia- I'm not sure I would be able to help you with your past lives, sorry. Mine just came to me in dreams, and flashes of remembering things. If that makes sense. I didn't think anyone else had the feeling that they wern't going to live long. It's very interesting.

Thanks again!
katia (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-16)
oh and Tori, I've also have an old soul and I was wondering if you could help me try to find out what my past lives were since you know about yours? Or at least tell me how or where I could try and discover them? It would be so awesome and mean so much to me. If not, that's fine too [:
katia (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-16)
TORI! Sorry for the excitement, its just that parts of your story apply to me to a T. I feel like crying-its just nice to find someone who understands. At least, I'm the only one who I know that has these experiences. I haven't told anyone besides my mom, and she believes me. So at least I have her support.
Like you, I've always been different. Always. I've never really fit in anywhere-I had friends, but I always prefered to be alone. Without trying to sound arrogant, I've always felt special too.

I am completely new to this whole thing. For months I've felt like something is up with me but I just didn't know where to look.

And I too have felt like I won't live long! In fourth grade I had this overwhelming feeling that I would never go to college. Just out of the blue, the thought entered and never left. Then, maybe about 5 months ago, when my "abilities" got really triggered, this feeling that I was going to die when I was 19 entered my system and since then it hasn't gone away. Like you, I've always felt I was destined for something more.

I wish you the best of luck. I'll be here if you ever want to talk. [:
LovelyLeigh (2 stories) (5 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-16)
Hello Tori.
I want to say that I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I am 21, and when I was young, I knew I was different too. My advice, Embrace it. If people can't have open minds, then they certainly are going to force you to close yours. Conform or get shot. That is how society works. There are all sorts of labels that well intentioned people will try to give you, the trick is to not let it get under your skin. Find out who you are, and keep learning. Sometimes you will have scary experiences, but things do happen for a reason. I could tell you countless tales. I too, tried to turn off my ability, but you know what? It's like a wildfire, it keeps growing. I have to accept who I am. I have gifts, and so do you. Don't run from it, it is faster. It will catch up with you.
My advice is to not be too overwhelmed with it. To increase it try to get a friend that you trust, to visualize a color and then you determine what color they are thinking. I have a friend that does this with me, and at first you may doubt your own ability, but trust your intuition and every time you will know the answer.
Best of luck to you sweetheart,
Your kindred friend.
TaylorHatesLove (11 stories) (93 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-15)
In my opinion, being psychic means you have a duty to help and protect people. A lot of people don't know how to react when they find out they're psychic. Some want their abilities, others aren't sure if they want them or not.

Like Anne said, it's hard telling people you're psychic. My best friend knows because I've proved it to her. My other friend only knows I get premonitions and most of the time she thinks I'm over-exaggerating. I know you'd want to tell a lot of people you're psychic, I do too, but I keep it to myself mostly. The next time you're going to tell someone, make sure it's someone you can trust - it hurts when no one believes you and you're labeled a freak. A lot of people go through it.

Don't shut yourself down. Everyone is destined for great things and you have these abilities for a reason, you just haven't found it yet. It's alright to be scared, but as you grow older you'll accept your abilities.

Taylor ❤
phychic1231 (6 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-06-15)
i see aruas and I see spirts, and I think I can talk to them to, I'm very open to sprits I don't get scared I embrace my phychic abilitys.
AnneV (4 stories) (1063 posts) mod
 
12 years ago (2009-06-15)
You've eloquently summed up the life of a young psychic. People shun you because they are afraid. What we don't know, we fear. Do you want to fill your life up with people or have real friends? Friends who are not only closed minded but shun you for not being like them, are not friends.

Learn how to manifest. Put in your mind the person you'd like to meet. Meditate and visualize this and it will come to pass. You needn't be alone or feel lonely in a world where there are people just like you. It took me awhile to find my husband who is psychic like me but I put "him" into my mind's eye, and we found each other.

The hard part about opening the door to the psychic and spiritual realm, is that it's hard close on a whim. Robert Monroe (the famed astral projector) always warned that, "Be careful for what you ask for because once this door is open, it's likely to stay that way." I'm sure you'll get lots of advise here but remember that like attracts like so keep peace, light, and love in your heart.

And know too most "ghosts" are just you and I who have passed on. They want to communicate and if they can find someone who can hear them, they are all over it.

There are numerous ways to increase your ability. Do some research on chakras, using visualization and white light, crystals if you enjoy that, etc.

Anne

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