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Too Much Empathy?

 

I'm going to begin by saying although this is a long post, it's not that interesting, I can't control fire or read minds, I just need help figuring out what I might have.

I am a 17 year old girl from southern California and until recently I have doubted the existence of psychic abilities. But the older I get I realize the less I know and I think I may have some psychic abilities. And I don't think psychic abilities are random, I agree with this websites definition, that psychic people are just more in tune with their feelings and ability to perceive the world.

After reading people's personal accounts I think it is important I give some background about myself as I have found similarities in other's posts.

I have never been a people person. It seems weird even to myself as I fit all the materialistic demands of high school and society but socializing makes me uncomfortable. I'm very shy at first, it's like there is a block on my brain and I just don't know how to be myself. I've always been a moody person, maybe have 10 or more mood swings a day. I've never been exceptionally happy and around the age of 12 I became very depressed for the next 4 years. I hated being around people and I removed myself from society to a remote location. I was actually happy at first but at the end of my second year there I was so depressed I had to leave. And not just depressed, something weird I had never felt. I felt as if I was going to be ripped out of reality just at a person's touch, my mood was changing all the time, and I couldn't complete any task that required the slightest bit of emotion without feeling as if I would have a mental breakdown. Also, I have always felt extremely connected to plants and animals. I consider my animals my best friends and we are extremely close we can understand each others moods like thoughts. I have always been good with animals, babies, and plants and feel at peace when I am with them or in nature.

My whole life I've always had good instincts, I've even concluded that the best way for me to make choices is to wing it, because when I do everything usually turns out well. But I think my instincts are particularly strong. When I was little I didn't pay attention to them because "psychic" was always an imaginary play word. I sometimes knew beforehand when a teacher would call on me, I would just know, to the point that I could mouth my name as he/she called it.

A particular experience that I remember from when I was really young, maybe 5: I was at the beach and my dad and brother were playing football. Now, I often go off into my head and daydream and make up scenarios, so I was looking at the water and my head played out the scenario where my dad and brother came over and tricked me into falling into the water by showing me a rock and pushing me. Only moments later my dad and brother (who happens to be my twin) came over and I was holding the rock that had prompted my day dream when my dad and brother whispered before my brother yelled out for me to look at a fish, I did, and they pushed me in.

Now it seems I have these moments more and more frequently, or maybe I'm just paying better attention. I am almost always thinking about a person when they call, or have already picked up my cell when it rings or someone texts. Not because I know it's going to ring, but because I just grabbed it without thinking. Also, I've had psychic dreams before, most recently: I dreamed I had a bald spot on the left side of my head straight back from my ear. The next morning I forgot about the dream until I was feeling around in my hair and I felt the bald spot. Another time I was talking to my step mom one morning and I told her that I dreamed that her daughter was pregnant but didn't want to tell anyone yet, but wanted me to be her baby's chauffeur. My step mom interrogated me about the details of the dream which I just blew off. Later that day she told me she had found out the day before I dreamed about it that her daughter was pregnant.

Anyway, I don't want to go on about this because it's not the main reason for my post. But my (psychic?) abilities don't really extend beyond feelings, the occasional dreams, and knowing random things I have no reason knowing like someone I don't know wells' phone number, sensing what someone is going to say, and other small things.

But what I'm here for is my emotions. Ever since I was little I've been a very sensitive person, but not about myself. I can take insults without breaking out in tears:) But other peoples pain has always affected me tremendously. When one of my siblings was hurt I used to always cry (I didn't feel their physical pain) it just affected me. I watched my baby sisters better than my parents out of fear of their safety. And no tragedy is too small, a dying mouse could keep me sad for days. People have told me I'm more sensitive, or more in-tune to other's emotions, especially at boarding school and those I was close with were always surprised when I knew something was wrong, but to me it was just so obvious they were upset that I didn't think anything of their comments and I was left feeling like I had been punched in the stomach for the day.

I'm beginning to think the reason I became so crazy at the end of boarding school was because I was living so close to so many emotional, hormonal, teenagers that I was feeling everyone's emotions? If I really am feeling other's feelings, I need to learn to control it because it's taking a toll on my life. For example: I go way out of my way to set up my situation or living environment so that everyone will be happy, otherwise I struggle. If I'm bringing over someone to my house that my brother doesn't like I will lie to 10 people and my grandma just to ensure those two don't interact because once conflict arises I feel nervous, guilty, etc., for the evening.

I don't like hanging out with people because when I do I always need to make sure they are happy so it's hard to be myself when I'm constantly monitoring others. My friend is living with me this summer and its driving me crazy because as much as I know intellectually why there is no reason that I have to cater to her every need, it hurts me more if I don't. (Also, since my friend has lived with me she will say what she is thinking and probably like 4 or 5 times a day I am thinking the exact thing, or she texts me while I'm about to call her or something asking the same thing.)

Ever since I was little when I've had a friend too long I make them stop liking me because I can't take it anymore. This isn't a bad thing either but when people are mean to others, It makes me uncomfortable. I feel constant anxiety and guilt about what I have in life and what others don't. I would give away everything I owned if I was legal just to not feel guilty anymore. And I've basically come terms with the fact that unless I'm working to help others I won't be happy.

I just feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world and I don't know why. If there is anyone who reads this and thinks they understand what I'm going through, please explain.

I'm sorry this has been so long. I'm just trying to get all this off my chest. Thank you so much to anyone still reading! And your posts or e-mails would be more than appreciated

My email is - acp. Phillips - at - gmail.com

Again, thank you.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, lynx92, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Eric-Baal (1 stories) (255 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-22)
Sometimes to much Empathy is... To much. It will drive you made I think. Its sort of an annoying ability in my opinon. What do you want to do with it? Make it stronger or make it go away?
Indymom1 (1 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-22)
Thank God there is a name for what I've been going through! It has only gotten worse the older I have gotten until I can't stand to go see the animals at the fair, or kill a bug or eat meat. It is an agonizing way to live and it wears you out! I know why you felt you had to run away. It must be why people become hermits. The hurt of others is too much to bear. You have my sympathy. I thought I was losing my mind.
Aquaxamatista (1 stories) (62 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-02)
Hey, I'm Diana and I'm 17 years old. I'm going through the same that your going. Just days ago I realized I'm an empath. I can also predict some other stuff. Ever since I've been 2 I have felt the sorrow and sadness of people. I would cry if someone even killed a fly. It hurts me deeply. Since I was 2 I have a burden upon me that I have to say peoples or just anythings life. Now I'm want to pursue that as my career. I can't do anything else but do that with my life. It will kill me if I dont. Like I said previously I used to get predicments (sp?) of somethings. When I predicted when my grand-aunt was going to die, I decided that's it. I didn't want to get these predictions. So they went away. Sadly a year later my grand-aunt died the excat day I predicted. Now I'm starting to predict again but its only bad. I guess I'm lucky because I would want to predict through dreams. If you want you can pratice shielding (in a way you protect yourself from peoples emotions). 😁 I don't know if this helped but if you want to keep in touch heres my email! Amatistaf [at] yahoo.com by the way I also live in California 😊
Bye! ❤
1victory3 (1 stories) (4 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-07-28)
I am 45 years old and just the last few years realized that I am an empath. I have realized that I have other abilities for a long time. I have the same problem with trying to fix everything all the time so the person doesn't have to. I am always trying to keep everyone happy and getting along as well. Mostly the people in my own house. I feel like I am losing my self. I don't think I have a problem knowing who is feeling what, but I can't stop feeling it regardless. I am a nervous wreck most of the time. I don't get any time alone. It feels like everyone is a time bomb, because the negative feelings seem so much stronger than positive ones. I can't deal with anger or frustration very well. The energy makes me feel like my chest may explode. I also have hyper sensitive smell and touch. My sight seems to be getting steadily worse. I wonder if there is any connection. I Probably didn't help with anything, but knowledge of my experience in comparison.
Vickie
Air (2 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-07-26)
Hi.Reading your story brought back a lot of memories for me. I used to be very similar in my sensitivity. I am 37 years old and was very "oversensitive" as a child and teen.
These are gifts that you can share with the world, but before you start taking on others suffering, it is imperitive that you develope some extra strong boundries. Practice taking note of how your body feels, how your mind feels, your moods etc on a regular basis. The more aware that you are of your own self and thoughts, feelings etc, then better you will get at allowing others to own thier own "business".
Remember that I used to be similar to you. It is NOT healthy. In an oversensitive state with fuzzy boundries, you cannot really be of use to anyone and your own life is miserable. Just practice everyday determining what is yours and what is thiers. Remind yourself also that, just as you are responsible for how you react and respond to others,they,too are responsible for how they respond to you. You owe it to yourself to determine who you are and be authentic, while still being true to your compassion. Remember also that each one of us has our own lessons to learn and by making everything easy for others, it can rob them of thier hard earned life lessons. As far as your example of the rock and being pushed into the water. Stuff like that also happens to me all the time. I think telepathy,empathy,clairvoyance etc etc all tap into the same flow of energy. Who knows whether you picked up on your brother's thoughts, or whether you thought up the idea in your creative stream and he picked it up and acted on it;)
Good luck! Boundries worked wonders for me. Meditation allowed me to slow my mind enough to watch my thoughts and "own them".that way I was more aware when I was picking up others anxieties etc. Helped a lot. Empathy can be of great help to a healer, but a good healer has to have the ability to put a good distance between the one they are attempting to help, and themselves.
Take care.
Pinkyrose144 (1 stories) (14 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-07-23)
Add me on msn I can do weird stuff and I'm freaked out I can Tell things before they happen, I once made a dream about a disaster and it came true, I can connect with my mom though mind, I know when something will go wrong because I get the sensation, I hear music sometimes when there is non playing at night and I hear noises like if peoples were talking but I don't completely understand what they say, I hear my name sometimes when I'm in the shower or at school or anywhere its like if someone was calling my name for help or to get my attention but its not super loud but sometimes its like a whisper or a little louder. So add me on msn if you do things I can do because they stuff I can do Freak me out
xox-vicky-peace-xox [at] hotmail.com Thanks ❤
Maxtar (15 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-07-23)
*Yin/Yang lol (ying/yang) sorry.
Psychic abilities come in different forms as the persons experiences in life open up the doors. Seeing parents and family fight over things could cause you to open up to some of these abilities. I'm an empath with precog abilities so they tend to mix sometimes. My abilities connect to my five senses so I can feel a person tap me on the shoulder the day before they actually tap me on the shoulder. My abilities are weird to understand but your abilities are probably not even at their peak yet. I'm still working on my although I never learned to block people out. It can be hard to sit in a cafeteria room full of people. Normally we don't have any friends we can focus on to keep the emotions out of our heads. It's hard to block people out. Try and find someone you can focus on and not exactly tap into all the time. It should help some.
Aine (2 stories) (6 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-07-16)
Lynx92 ❤ I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I send love to you, my friend. It can be so very hard to feel everything everyone around you feels. I have been working with this same problem myself, only I had it all tucked away for a long time, swept under the carpet, and it is coming out IN FORCE since I had a baby. And, in a way, since your story reminded me of how I was when I was young, you have helped me to get back to the beginning when I first learned to control my empathy. The first thing I taught myself was to learn to separate myself from all the feelings that came into me. I learned this by trying to be completely honest with myself and others at all times. I journaled a lot, too, which helped me to know what I was thinking and what was just there around me in the spiritual ether. I also made myself a safe place where I could retreat and be all by myself. I made that place peaceful and would go there when there was too much around me. The funny thing is, before I sat down at the computer, I was doing this for myself again! I am making my sanctuary. And this weekend I am going to a holy place near here, a native holy site where I can go to be peaceful. I think it really helps when you can separate yourself and take a little break from everyone around you. In some ways, empathy is a wonderful gift, because you can see what other people do not allow themselves to see or feel. You can help them draw that out and deal with parts of themselves they can't see. But, first, you need to see yourself as important enough to get what you need and what you want for yourself. How can you help anyone if you yourself are wounded and hurting? Make time and a place for peace. My mother used to tell me to make time for yourself with things that completely please all of your senses. Take a bath with music you like and candles you enjoy - and eat some chocolate. Bring in some flowers to look at. Make your physical senses focus on the good and pleasant things instead of all the pain and hurt you feel around you. Also (which may not be the case for anyone but me) I find it much easier to separate the emotional confusion around me from myself if my physical environment is not confused. For instance, I took the time away from being Mommy and workaholic to clean our bedroom. It feels more peaceful already. If you need anything, please let me know.
pegs_deborah (3 stories) (112 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-07-15)
I'm 31 now and I've been an empath for as long as I can remember although I didn't always now there was a name for what I was experiencing. I've had other psychic experiences such as precognitiion (like you) and I've also had OBE's (out of body experiences). I believe all people everywhere are 'psychic' they just choose not to be. Thus, I agree with the idea that we psychics are simply more in tune with our surroundings and able to perceive more. We choose to be.

When I was a teenager, it was particularly difficult being so sensitive. I actually thought for a long, long time that there was something wrong with me. I honestly thought that there was a chance I could be crazy. I just knew things other people didn't and it was weird and it made me feel different and alone. Something no person wants to feel. I'm not sure exactly why it was so tough as a teenager except that being a teen is tough for everybody no matter who they are whether they are psychic or not. In addition, though, I was just more sensitive than most and just picked up on things that most people didn't. I honestly think my abilities increased a bit in my teen years. I don't know why. Looking back on the times, now, I realize that I actually got something out of those difficult experiences. By being confronted with such challenging situations, I'm a stronger person and am better able to cope with my abilities. While I would never want to relive those times again (it so so so difficult & confusing picking on other's people's emotions all the time. I felt like a live wire or a radio with no off button), I can still recognize that it taught me the parameters of what I will and will not put up with in my adult life. I'm saying all this because I think you should know that it will get better. It really will.

However, I agree with Anne V. It sounds like you are taking on everyone else's problems like they are your own. This is actually a pretty common problem for people who are sensitive/psychic/empathic. For your sanity and happiness, you are going to have to learn that it isn't your job to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders nor is it your job to shield everyone from life's tough realities.

That doesn't mean that you can't still help people. Helping people, however, doesn't mean that we empathize with them so much that we take on their problems as our own in our attempts to make and keep them happy. This only hurts us and dooms others to keep repeating the same mistakes because they don't learn.

I hope I haven't confused you or offended you. I just wanted to write and tell you that I've been there, done that, you're not alone, and I learned that I had to learn to shield myself better. If I were you, I would start by reading as much about empaths, shielding, sensitives as I could.
AnneV (4 stories) (1063 posts) mod
 
12 years ago (2009-07-15)
If this is the belief that you're going to carry (that you can't be happy unless everyone you're around is happy) then get ready for a life of misery. No one can be responsible for the continual happiness and comfort of others. It's no wonder you ditched your friends after a long period. You wore them like a chain.

Life is not just the ups. It's full of downs. I always tell people to think about white writing on a white chalkboard. Would you see anything? You need the negative and positive, the ying and the yang contrast to learn. What is it you think you're helping your friends from? Life is dealt to us for specific reasons; to experience, learn and grow. You trying to rob everyone of what life really is, is doing you no favors, nor them.

When we do what resonates with our soul, we don't suffer like that. You know that you love babies, animals and plants and that makes you feel good because that resonates with your soul. Shielding everyone from reality doesn't resonate with your soul but you're trying to force it. You will eventually mentally collapse. Trust that the universe knows more than you! Let it be and you'll be a lot happier.

In spiritual terms, 'let the kids fall of their bikes' because they need to get back on again and learn how to ride, you know?

Anne

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