I wasn't much to think I was some sort of medium most of my life until a few years ago when someone reached out to me about these experiences I seem to have a lot. I normally don't tell a lot of people about this because I have convinced myself long ago I was either just crazy or people were just putting these crazy thoughts in my head. My family has always been very in tune with their spiritual side. Especially my mother's side of the family.
My first true experience was when I was 13 years old. There may have been some when I was younger but this event stands out above the rest. My mom was noticing that my depression and anxiety was starting to get worse so she bought me a journal to track my feelings in. There was a big problem. Aside from the normal teen angst I had no idea why I felt hopeless all the time. But my mother seemed to be digging more and more into spiritual enlightenment. She bought this book called "The Power of Now" and I have yet to read this myself but my mother began to talk about the keys to life and the soul. Thirteen-year-old me had no idea what she was talking about. One day she took me out to spend time with me just one-on-one. And there was this sinking feeling conjuring in my stomach. Then this terrible thought came to my head. "What would I do if my mother died?". This question was completely irrelevant at the time. My mother was healthy... Or so it appeared. This feeling only gets worse throughout the week. I start panicking at the thoughts of losing my mother. Then we did a tarot reading together. There were a few key cards in this hand that really went hand in hand with the thoughts I was having all week. The immediate future foretold that I would completely shut down and hide away from everyone. And the external influence was death. Just the week later my mother commits suicide.
Ever since then I get this feeling of impending doom before death happens. And I also get really sick before something bad happens.
I also can feel emotional energy of almost everyone I am around. I am currently living in a house where a lot of death has and abuse has occurred in both the current and previous owner lives. The walls hold a lot of sadness and every time I come home my mood is always pulled down with it. I try to fight it but it is increasingly getting harder to do so. I can feel when my brother is angry or sad and be in another room. I can feel my friend's emotions from a great distance and I don't even need to physically meet them to feel when something is wrong.
I don't know if I am just putting these thoughts in my head. But if I am not I need help. I want to learn how to stop this because I don't know what my own emotions are anymore, and if I am even capable of feeling my own emotions. Is there any advice someone could give me?
I can help a bit. I wouldn't suggest stopping a gift, but rather learning how to live with them and use them.
You have the gifts of premonitions, empath, and maybe clairsentient, but since you are overwhelmed by what you feel, I think you might be more of an empath who is like a "sponge" right now, absorbing negativity from all around you.
Do a quick Google search for Ama Nazra and try her Michael Invocations and her White Light Shields. The instructions are on thoae pages, they will clear your home getting rid of the nasty feelings on the walls and the shields will protect you from others negativity.
I recommend you try out crystal healing mainly because I have a similar gift like yours with seeing the future (basically through time) and that is one of the very few things that helped stop negative emotions from the future and the past from overwhelming me. I used to even feel nausea, illness, panic attacks, basically everything through time as if I were really there, but with meditation and crystals it got better. I recommend the crystals Rose Quartz, Black Tourmaline, Amethyst, Citrine, Malachite, and Larimar. Do the shields daily by the way.
Keep a journal to write down your psychic experiences and premonitions. It might come in handy some day, even if it seems like it won't right now.
Meditate (either by doing diaphragmatic/deep breathing or observing your inhale and exhale) daily, it will calm your anxiety eventually, even if just for the while when you meditate. A little goes a long way.
Also, ground and center yourself everyday. It will help you when you feel spacey or zoned out or when you feel too many emotions coming from different people. To ground, one method is to imagine roots coming out of your feet and then anchor them deeply into the Earth. Another is to imagine 3 cords of white light, 1 from each foot, and then 1 cord from your tailbone and lock them in deep into the Earth. To center yourself, raise your arms up and send energy out from your hands into Heaven and anchor that energy into Heaven. Do all this daily and it will get stronger and easier to do.
If you want another simple way to shield yourself, you can say "Archangel Michael, please put White Light Shields around me now."
One last thing, if you're ever concerned about any ghost issues (or that if your mom didn't cross over yet and is hanging around as a ghost), use the Michael Invocation or use the 'FIND' and 'TAKE' request, which is like this: " Archangel Michael, FIND the ghost that (describe your ghost) and TAKE them into healing." That should help, if not try the invocations.