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My Cimmerian Side?


After exploring this site and reading the stories of others, I decided to share my own. Being a Virgo, I often struggle with the parallels of practicality and realism vs. Etymology of the supernatural. In other words... My story (and please be patient if reading, I'm not a journalist).

Are people generally good or evil? You've heard this question before I'm sure. I never could answer that question with complete rectitude, and need to understand why that is such the case.

I've always known that I was an empath. Since my Mom passed (7 years ago), my unyielding awareness of this ability has not only elevated, but has made it impossible for me to tune out of it.

When I sense people whom I don't know, I have this inexplicable feeling of banefulness. No matter what the emotion is they are experiencing, I somehow lack compassion and good will. When I sense people whom I do know, I involuntarily slam them with sarcasm or hollow kindness. Could someone please tell me what is going on?

I consider myself quite a (in an objective comparison) normal person. If normality can be classified somewhat by: I was raised by extraordinary loving parents with tight extended family structures, a playful and memorable childhood, close friends, highly educated, talented in my career and well liked overall. I have no complaints of my younger years. At 34 years old, I am a responsible, sensitive, cool cat who would "give you the shirt of my back" type.

Within the last 7 years, I've had so many unusual occurrences. I'll keep it brief and most current. (while saving your eyes)...

I was in Phoenix once again a few weeks ago with a friend. We went to the Grand Canyon with a group of people (113 degrees in sun) all in a motorized raft down the Colorado River for 5 hrs. During that time, you enjoy the scenery and naturally sense the people around you.

One particular skinny, haughty, "I'm better than all of you" rich b---- women with her obnoxious husband and unruly 6 year old caught my attention. (I apologize now for this) She was wearing a navy blue wide brimmed hat (St. John), a tight black spandex top (D&G), beige capris, sandals (with jewels), a Chanel bag and Gucci sunglasses. The 'worst kind' (feel me), right? I sensed she was unhappy and uncomfortable and wanted to keep it that way. What did I do? I focused on her long, apple red false fingernails. I'm not sure why, I was compressed intently to do so for about 3 minutes. My thoughts were for her to bleed, like the blood color of her nails. I simply did not like her nor her vibes. Here's what happened:

The tour ended and we all boarded the bus to venture back. I sat in the rear, she was 4 rows ahead of me. The driver announced a quick stop to take one last scenic view. We were all encouraged to step off the bus to take a look.

I patiently waited to stand up and take my turn to walk the aisle. As I started to do so, a person in front of me stopped abruptly, noticed the woman I had been disgusted by, and replied, "Are you okay?". She turned to him and quickly said, "Oh, I'm fine, thank you, I just have a nose bleed, probably from the dry heat".

I witnessed this up close and personal, and all I felt was sheer and unequivocal joy. Her husband was in distress and her kid was restless. I was enlightened.

Another incident was a middle aged man (with an 'I'm too sexy" t-shirt on) who cut in front of me at a coffee shop, intentionally! I sensed he was going someplace and 'up to no good'. He was in an apparent hurry. Again, I focused on him as I waited to be next, thinking "I hate your t-shirt". The cashier placed his coffee down, he swiftly grabbed it toward him and upward from the top of the cup, the lid popped off and coffee splattered all over his t-shirt. Again, I was delighted.

At the drugstore down the street, a kid running up and down the aisle ignoring his mother's voice. I sensed he was purposely disobeying her and being selfish with having his own fun. I focused on a fall, or an injury. Sure enough, he tripped over a basket someone left on the floor and plummeted head first into the candy along the counter front. I was smiling.

At my dentist's office, the receptionist answering the phone always in a cheerful tone. She's so happy all the time and so accommodating and helpful to both doctors and patients. I sat there, waiting, and thought, "I hope that damn phone rings and it's bad news". It did ring, and I heard following the greeting, "Oh my god, are you kidding me?...okay, I'll try to get there as soon as I can". It pleased me.

I'm sharing all of this in hopes someone can perhaps explain to me what is going on, how and why. Again, I'm the practical sort, and though I am spiritual and honor other's unique abilities, I can't seem to figure out why I am so dark. I don't even fully believe I have anything unique but regular coincidences.

I am looking for ways to extinguish my dark side. I attempted to get a tarot reading from a well respected source shortly after my Mom's passing. I simply needed some insight, maybe walk away with something useful or anything that would help my grief or shed some light on my empathy. The reader, for whatever reason, could not "complete the cards". In other words, she wouldn't finish the reading. I don't know why to this day that happened, but her demeanor changed after that delivery. I sensed that too... She was belligerent and ready to take me on? Again, I don't know. It left my feeling very confused, to say the least.

If you've read to this point, I thank you sincerely. I hope now at your point, you can share anything you may know about what is happening to me.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, darkerlight, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Timfaraos (426 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-11)
By feeling hate, disgust, envy, malice and revenge towards people, you only bring bad karma, evil, and demons to yourself, because that's what your sending out to others! LOL! What if YOU were that person, who you cursed? Put yourself in HIS shoes... Would you like to be cursed? NO! Jesus said: 'if you don't forgive other people their sins (and weaknesses), neither will our Father in heaven forgive you YOURS!' LOL! 'judge not, lest you be judged!' 'do not CURSE people, but PRAY for them!' We must read the bible, and PRACTICE it, it will make our life, and those around us much easier!
epoy1984 (14 stories) (644 posts)
14 years ago (2009-09-13)
I agree of what pixierubicon had said. You must use your gifts for the good of other people. 😊
randy (4 stories) (24 posts)
14 years ago (2009-09-13)
It seems to me that virgos and some tauras' share this ability to make things happen to people. Could it be because of us having Venus as our planet?
1victory3 (1 stories) (4 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-08)
I also am a Virgo. What I see in people is that they are not evolved enough to know better than to be how they are. I have come to realize that I am the exception, and most people are the norm. You can not judge people fairly if you expect them to think on a higher plane. That would be like bringing a caveman (real one) to our time and expecting them to operate a computer or even a car. Most people are like children and we are the elders. I don't know how else to explain the difference. Getting angry with these people will not make anything better. It certainly won't change anything.
jdnails2 (1 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-07)
I have been pondering this question for some time. And though I feel harmlessness is a good thing as well as noninterference, sometimes it occurs. Some times it is difficult to break habitual patterning. Some say its a movie already written (Vedic) if so they you did not "do" anything, no doer. But who is to say if this is or isn't truth.

But the big question is;
Did you create the occurrence or did you pick up on what was going to occur regardless.

A red jeep comes around the corner.
You guessed the next auto you were to see was going to be a red jeep, or did you manifest the red jeep?

I lean towards the possibility of ego validation. The Shaman would say, accept your shadow side, the Priest would say bury it.
Who is right? Who is wrong?
Better yet who is to say?
seer_of_shadow (5 stories) (63 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-06)
I'm not familiar with the term Cimmerian but I can relate to you. I usually have dark thoughts like that when certain people and actions annoy me. However nothing happens when I think the thoughts. Sorry, but I can't help you here.
PixieRubicon (1 stories) (7 posts)
14 years ago (2009-08-06)
Okay, first of all, you need to stop taking matters into your own hands. When you tripped that child and hurt him, you were meddling with that mother's attempts to teach her child. Second of all - focus on the positive in life. Tarot cards and voodoo nonsense is not the way to go. Your elation was probably a result of discovering your new powers.

When you caused that lady to bleed, you should never have done that. Stop wishing bad things to happen to people. It is not you who is evil - it is your actions, and if you don't change them, you will always be this way.

It may be hard, even difficult to the extreme to discipline yourself and your emotions. However, as you begin to relax and start changing yourself instead of looking at the things you want to change about others, you will find that you can do good things too. Help your friend win the lottery jack pot. Make your mother's twisted ankle heal faster than normal. Help your father to see without bifocals. As you begin to help good people instead of punishing what you perceive to be bad people, you will find yourself becoming a much more pleasant, kind and safe person for yourself and others to be around.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
14 years ago (2009-08-06)
Cimmerian or something else... As a Virgo myself (and author and editor of this site), I think there may be a correlation here. You probably feel that you're not "from here" meaning you look around and say, "Why the hell am I here with these people?" If not, probably no need to keep reading.

If you do, it's probably because you aren't. I myself, in my subtle realm travels, have gone to another place that was "home" and came back here with a big "Ugh". I felt towards people exactly like you do (I still struggle with this). Most people on this planet/plane are in the spiritual first grade but even for people who come from other places, you came here for a reason (trust me, or you'd not be here as nothing is accidental). The number one reason is probably because you wanted to truly learn compassion and unconditional love. To learn that here is a huge lesson. It's to see beyond the fact that the lady (among many) is fake, trite, self-absorbed and all the other things people are. To do this is truly advanced. I don't think you were satisfied "over "there" because you weren't growing in the way you wanted on a very deep level. However, it takes us decades to realize this or to even know that's why we are here. Once we do, then begins the very difficult journey of learning true compassion.

It's easy to give the shirt off our backs to the people we've hand chosen. They are like us. That is no challenge. That teaches you nothing. You're in the easy chair right now.

You will remain dark until something happens that triggers the process. You'll see, hear or feel something and then it dawns on you. It's quite humbling. It usually starts with animals because they are so pure. Much harder is to accept the tainted human with all its faults. But times are changing and I mean for everyone. You're asking these questions now for a reason. You'll know what I mean in a short while.

Feel free to share as you like, if you wish, at eclecticraven - at -
Your fellow traveler.

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