I am writing this because I need a mentor! Please read and see if you might be my person, or someone who has gone through this and is able to at least give me some guidance.
As long as I can remember I have always felt "spirits and ghosts", I could always tell when someone is lying and then of course all of the regular stuff. Who is calling before the phone rings, where an object has been, what happened in certain places (positive or negative energy). I feel nauseous when in a place with lots of activity, etc.
I read Tarot and I do a really good job at it. I have a very strong intuition and it guides my reads way more than the cards, if that makes sense. So, I use the cards to describe what I am seeing or usually feeling more than seeing. For years, I thought I just had a HUGE CRAZY imagination. I didn't pay too much attention to the little things I'd know about people without knowing them. Especially strangers.
About a year ago I was cleaning my house before I left to go do a Tarot read for someone I had never met. All of a sudden I felt a presence, I couldn't see him except in my mind. I saw a kind older man, maybe in his 70's. He was standing in a field that was very very green, in front of a John Deer tractor. He said "Tell him I already knew, ever since he was little. There is no shame in who we are and in our experiences. We are all God's children". It was clear as day. He stayed with me for a little while and I felt sad when he left. His energy was loving and felt like tobacco smoke, cut grass and soft leather. So, a few hours later I go to meet my client (whom I have never met) and I can feel the older gentleman's words. So I say to my client "I read cards but this is different and might sound crazy but..." and I tell him about the man, his words, the field and the tractor. It turns out that this was his Grandfather who took him in after he had been abused. My client is gay and never told his Grandfather who lived on a farm in North Texas and worked for John Deer.
This freaked me out! I have always felt like I had some connection but it had never been so blatantly confirmed. Time goes by and strange things happen. Mostly, I just know things about people. Maybe they went to the dr. And got bad news, their child is graduating from HS, etc. Then, one afternoon I lie down next to my boyfriend and we fall asleep. We both wake up in a panic, we have both had the same dream at the same time. A young girl is at a bar, she gets into a truck with a man with long greasy black hair, she goes willingly. He was smoking camel straights and the truck was rusty, there was an old coffee cup full of cig butts and it was parked on the road next to a forest. He kills her and buries her in the forest and then he disappears. She has long brown hair and a tattoo and is about 17. She has known him her entire short life. Ben and I have the exact same dream, every detail except he sees the scene from the left and I see it from the right.
Fast forward to last week. I was doing a super casual read for someone online, she asked about selling her house. I am laying down the cards when there is a man with me. He tells me things to tell her, I see a boat, all brown around him, etc. He says to tell her she is doing the right thing, he is SAFE, he hears her and he loves her. When I relay this, she says it's her late husband, she says she asks God every night to keep him safe and wonders if he hears her. They took their honeymoon on a boat and the brown? He worked for UPS.
The next day, another message for someone else, the day after that, I'm at restaurant and see a young man who has passed. Every day now something is happening. WHY NOW? How do I control the flow? I have no idea. Can someone offer advice? My children are very sensitive to spirits etc and I don't want my house to be a waiting room. Why is this happening? HELP!
Any advice on how to manage this would be helpful! I am not afraid but I think that this could open some doors that should remain closed. I just don't know. I would love to just have someone to talk to about it.