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He Led The Way


He led The Way

In May of 2008, I and my three kids and granddaughter took a trip back home to Ohio to visit my Mom on her 75th birthday. We spent a week in her home, and oh, the stories I have! But this one has nothing to do with her house.

My daughter's father was killed in a motorcycle accident three weeks before she was born. Well, for reasons that I won't go into, she has never had any contact with his family until earlier in the year, before our trip. Basically, she was rejected by his mom.

I had been to his grave site only once, when she was about three. I really didn't feel the need to, as I KNOW that he is with me still. She is a grown woman now, and I felt that she needed to visit him.

My Mom lives about an hour from where I grew up. She was kind enough to lend us her car for the day so I could show my kids my old stomping grounds and such. We moved to Las Vegas 17 years ago, and my boys barely remember it.

We took a long time to get to my hometown, as we made a few stops along the way. (another great story!). We finally arrived at the cemetery, and as we pulled in, my daughter said,"Oh, Mommy, how are we going to find it?". This is an extremely large cemetery. Thousands of graves. I said,"I know where it is...". But, needless to say, either my memory failed me or they moved his grave, because it was not where I thought it was. All I could say was " I know it's on a hill by some big trees...". To which my daughter replied, "Mommy, this is OAK HILL cemetery, lots of hills and trees!"

We drove around and around, stopped and looked at some headstones, and were becoming quite discouraged, as we were running out of daylight. When finally, I dropped her and my son JR off at one spot and drove to a small mausoleum on top of a little hill. I got out of the car, looked around and lit a cigarette, and in my frustration, I said," you son-of-a-bi*ch, you better show me where you are!".

The kids came back to the car shortly thereafter, and we proceeded down the hill, slowly. Suddenly I had the urge to stop the car and I did. I told the kids, "we're going up that hill".

My daughter, youngest son and I started walking up the hill and reading the stones that we passed. Our positions were: JR ahead and a little to the right of me, Leslie to the left and slightly behind me. As we approached the top of the hill, she was looking up at the trees for some reason, and her toe hit on something. As she looked down, there, about two feet in front of her was his headstone. All I heard was a gasp and " oh my God... Here it is...". I walked over to her, and sure enough, there it was. I turned around to signal my other son who was in the car with my granddaughter that we had found it. The bumper of the car was in line exactly to his grave. I took pictures of the car, but they didn't come out as I am stupid about how to use the flash, and it was duskish. Funny thing though, most of the others did.

We let her spend some time alone with him, and if she spoke to him or not, I didn't ask.

I think it's a good thing that John always had a great sense of humor, and didn't mind me calling him the name that I did!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, zzsgranny, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

AnandaHya (guest)
13 years ago (2011-01-12)
hey Granny I think we got off on the wrong foot. Being paranoid has keep me alive. My little brother says "your not paranoid if they really are out to get you" I tell him "yes you are, you just are right sometimes as well"

I just wanted to say I think it is wonderful that your daughter's father still maintains contact and is watching out for you and your daughter. I think this stories give me hope if anything should happen to me or my husband before the kids are fully grown: we can still watch over and protect them. I've got to feed my two little one, who are only 2 and 5 years old right now. I'm worried that I'm going to raise them all wrong and fail them in some way.

My guardian angel told me this poem and even if I think they are out to get them. I always try my best to help everyone and hurt no one. Its just a basic part of my belief system. I don't always do it very well, but the intent to help is there.

Hope: May 2003

"Look on each day as a new day
Forgive the hurts of yesterday
Let go dreams of tomorrow
Focus on today
Look on everything with fresh eyes
For what you remember is what was
Live and rejoice in what is
Be it sadness and pain
Or happiness and joy
Wealth or poverty
Find ultimate joy in the truth
And ultimate happiness in unconditional love
For they are the only things that remain constant
For they are from God
The nature of beings is pure light and goodness
Rejoice in knowledge and learning
Because that is the path toward God and truth
See with clear eyes the world,
Unfettered with misconceptions
Based on past experiences and attachments
People change, things change
True, future selves are based on past self experiences,
But have you truly seen them as they are
Or know who they will be?
Each person has choices and experiences that changes them daily. So greet everyone with happiness and compassion
Be open to accept who they are now and give them love and support for who the can become
Give thanks for past experiences
But don't forget to see people as they are now,
Instead of imposing the picture of who they used to be"

I have to feed the munchkins now. Peace.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
13 years ago (2010-11-20)
sory granny - this comment should have been published after the "Energies" story of Rashidah, I was so happy and nearly out of mind by your answer there, and by the fact that there are also wise Old Ones here not just seekers as I am or kiddies as many here are, that I wrote it here in the wrong place.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
13 years ago (2010-11-20)
Blessings Granny! You hit the mark. There IS "senseless suffering", there IS "bad luck", by far not all sufferings of Earth are explainable as a kind of penance for past sins, or as things which one has "attracted" by his attitude.
It would even be against logic to think it is so. For it would mean to attribute to human mind, or to human soul, some kind of "omnipotence" which is not there and is not meant to be there. It is the same as with Solipsism (see my answer to Joyy who adheres to this error).
One MUST accept that a soul is always like a drop, and an embodied entity is always like a cell; though existing as an unit that functions, and feels, like a wholeness separate from the rest of the world, every living being is as dependent from the Universe (and its Creator), and as bound to it in a relationship of "working for a boss and for his sake", as a cell is toward its body. Even more bound than a work-horse.
A cell can share the joy of its body and feel as if it were the same as the whole body in this euphoria but this is a state of grace, not of reality.
It happens only to give the cell strength for the majority of its life in which it is bound to reality. For the truth of being tiny and mortal and burdened with error, toil and trouble - which can only be carried in a positive attitude if one knows how GRRREAT the Body is for which this work is done, or to say it in religious terms, how MARVELOUS the Lord is, the will of Whom is thus done.
Toward each other we are to behave as free beings, "single as trees but brotherly as a forest". This is God's Will.
But toward Earth and God we are servants, and the only choice we have is if we want to be happy servants who admire their boss and know His decisions to be good, no matter if there be a rest of suffering remaining during their mortal lives (in Heaven this will be gone too), or rebellious hard-headed slaves who make themselves and others suffer much more by the fact of their rebellion.

Thus, as to senseless suffering we can do our best to minimize it by Work and Giving, and we can hope (and do as much prayer as possible) for that Change which Lord Jesus promised to bring - the Kingdom of God on Earth. This is enough for normal humans. Those who reject it make cynicists out of themselves. The argument "2000 years of living with Jesus changed nothing" has been mentioned in Revelation of St John as the trap that catches people before Latter Day - it really is, and it is a lie, DO look at what really changed to the better and DO Pray and Work in the name of God no matter if you accept Jesus as divine or not, then at least you will die without much remorse.

Some people make of senseless suffering if experienced by themselves some kind of offering, by thinking of Lord Jesus suffering on the Cross by free will, but though it makes sense if done with sufferings that come to you without your own fault, this can become an erroneous way, a path of Masochism that helps nobody, if suffering is consciously sought to be "nearer to Jesus" - so I do NOT follow it nor recommend it. Catholics may keep it if they really enjoy it - but it was this concept that made me leave Catholicism.

Some others think it to happen to make them lose the consciousness of being a separate entity not in the moment of dying but long before (Ego-Death concept) but this can only be another kind of grace given to some who have to carry the heaviest burdens, and if people burden themselves by free will with Fasting, Sleep deprivation, senseless Obedience or other hurtful "games" (Ascesis concept) to enforce such a grace they must be LUCKY to end up as "egoless enlightened ones" and not in final disappointment, as cynical, chronically-ill or mad people.

I do not discourage anyone who wants to follow this path but he/she must know the chance of NOT being just broken down by it without success, or NOT running away in the last moment to just save one's sanity, or one's survival, and then to live but to mourn for the rest of one's life, is far below ten percent. Zen, the main source of Egodeath concept, has been in fashion for some decades here in the West. Most Zen fans however do not look at the fact that the cemeteries of Japanese Zen monasteries are full of young men who miserably died of consequences of the hard Ascesis they exercised in, or of depression or psychosis caused by being overtaxed by the Zen way, which stage of "development" is called by the Zen monks themselves, very frankly, "Zen disease." Totally unknown, moreover, is the percentage of young men leaving Zen (or other Buddhist) monastery again for being overtaxed and leading normal family lives afterwards. I'd be very curious for such statistics! Thus, Buddhism too is not the solution it seems to many Westerners.

OK this was enough - it was not for you alone Granny, it was for all the world, and for God too. I showed up the yawning gaps. This is my way of pleading to the Lord to close them, finally, after 2000 years.

Marana tha!
Vavoom (guest)
13 years ago (2010-11-17)
Granny, at the point where you said "you son-of-a-bi%#*" I was right there with you! This is a great story, and I loved it. 😊 ❤
whitebuffalo (guest)
13 years ago (2010-11-17)
I am not about to start talking all spooky and in veiled references. I am going to straight up say, Wow!
I had a similar experience... Though I was not looking for a grave, I feel over it in my haste to LEAVE that particular cemetery. 😆
I have said it before, and I say it again. That young 'un of yours sure is one lucky gal.
Thank you.
aussiedaz (2 stories) (37 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-08)
No worry's zzsis, if ever you come down under make sure you let me know via email as well, a few years ago my wife worked and I was a stay at home dad, sometimes you do what you have to do to survive, good luck again mate talk later.
zzsgranny (2 stories) (40 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-08)
Aussie: Andre Agasi lives here, he has a school (?) for tennis players... I guess it's something like a week long camp or something... Maybe he should look it up...

And yes! You should come's not so bad! 😆 Australia is one of the places on my list of "Places to visit before I die"!...So you have my e-mail, let me know if and when...Eventually...And I'll come down under after I hit the big jackpot!... 😆
And thank you so much for the kind words... You have a way of lifting my spirit... My husband is a very good man, and I don't know how or if I would've made it this far without him!...He's been out of work for about a year now... I on the other hand have been working 6 days a week!...I don't have to do laundry, cook or clean!... 😆
aussiedaz (2 stories) (37 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-08)
Granny, your husband is a good man and both of you have done a excellent job in raising your daughter, just through your post and a feeling, I can make a picture of who you are and where you've come from, not sure if its physic but my wife tells me that I'm unbelievable with first impressions, good onya mate I hope you and your family hit the jackpot.
Aussie😁if ever we get to vegas we'll have to catch up. My son is 6 feet 8inches tall only 17 and a very good tennis player he will head to the states eventually.
zzsgranny (2 stories) (40 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-07)
Oracle101: John does visit me in dreams... I posted a story on your ghost stories, a sister to this site... And more often than not I wake up thinking "What the hell was that all about?" 😆...I never thought to ask him for further help...I'll do it if I can remember the next time!

Aussie; I think that's the way my daughter felt, or still feels though I hope not... Like something was missing... My husband loves her like one of his own, and would and has gone far beyond what could be expected from a step-parent...And she loves him too, but he's not HER dad, and I think she missed that!...She is a bright, optimistic, cheerful person, and doesn't let stupid stuff get to her... Her attitude toward the WOMAN is that it's HER loss, not Leslie's, and she's better off without that kind of negativity in her life! She's amazing! 😆
Oracle101 (2 stories) (506 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-07)
It is helpful to us when the dead can guide us. I always like the phrase from the movie Jerry Macguire; "Help me help you!". Whenever I have a difficult time solving a dream or vision from a spirit who comes to me, I try to remember to ask the spirit to help me solve their situation. They most often come to me for help and show me hints and clues within a dream, but after the dream I am most often left on my own to solve it. It is like something out of a Nancy Drew novel. So in summary, remember to ask the spirit for it's assistance in helping it. (Especially if you are bombarded with numerous spirits on a daily basis as am I, making it very time consuming.)

Oracle101, Psychic and Medium for 43 years
Always happy to help others
For more advice on this subject and others click on my profile name to read my other posts
aussiedaz (2 stories) (37 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-06)
Lucky for leslie,John's dad has a heart,I'm glad for her she can find some closure and at least bond in some type of way with his family. The photo, very touching 😢but so so prescious, The other grandmum well she is the (type) that's views the glass half empty, I have a half sister that was kept secret to me for 20 years, she had problems throughout her life with that, (not knowing the truth) she felt outcasted.❤Aussie
zzsgranny (2 stories) (40 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-06)
It was hard for Leslie, until she finally talked to her other grand mother... I never said anything bad about his family... I didn't want to have my feelings taint her ideals... But she found out what a b*tch the woman was when she called her and told her who she was... One Bright spot in the whole thing is, his dad has been corresponding with her through letters, and at Christmas time that same year, he sent her a picture of John as a kid... In his letter, he said," this is the only picture I have left of your dad"!...She sat in the driveway and cried for 15 minutes, just to have the acknowledgement from him was truely a gift she hadn't expected... Believe me when she decided to contact them, and got the resposne that she did from that woman, my heart literally HURT... I wondered if I had done the right thing in telling her the truth from birth...But, truth is the best thing I guess... Sometimes I still wonder... 😢
aussiedaz (2 stories) (37 posts)
14 years ago (2010-03-05)
Granny,you are a true survivor and a stronger person, for the hardship you'd experienced earlier on in your life, what I like about you is, the glass is always half full not half empty... I too have some reserations about going to the cemetery when you know there with you and I hope your daughter and family are doing well, it must be tough on her at times but thank god your not the half empty glass mum, good story look forward to reading your others.
Aussie 😁

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