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I Think I Am An Empath I Need Help Figuring This Out

 

Ever since I was a child, random people would tell me they got a shock or a tingling feeling when I shook their hand or touched them. I was always an overly sensitive child, often agitated and worried for no apparent reason.

From the age of three until I was about six, I had imaginary friends who I could see. They were children dressed differently than me and we used to meet in "hiding places" such as under the dining room table, in one of the closets of my house, or they would play with me and my toys in the basement. My family knew I had imaginary friends; they just thought I was creative. The thing is I still remember seeing them and how they looked. After a while, I saw less and less of them and eventually I never saw them again.

Around this time, I also became aware of the "giants". I was very scared of them. When they came around, there was no calming me and my family thought it was just a fear or my imagination again. Now that I am older, I can better understand the giants and their presence. I know this sounds weird. The giants were presences that I could feel around me. They were big and dark presences. I could not see them like I could my imaginary friends. Instead, they were a feeling; more like a foggy manifestation than a person. There was more than one presence but one in particular I believe has come into and out of my life ever since. When the giants appeared, I immediately became fearful, nervous and panicky. They particularly manifested in the dining room of my house- the same room where I would play with my imaginary friends. When I was younger, the dark presences stayed away from me- by away, I mean they stayed along a wall or a distance from me. But as I got older- especially two years ago, the presence would be right next to me. Sometimes right next to my face; even when I was not alone. It felt like a dark, foggy sheet about to engulf me. This happened to me while I was seeing two different healers and a priest even. Only one healer could see the presence and it was not until it left or I "banished" it that she saw it leave. The other healer just saw my body position change and said she felt a change in the room. I do not know how I am "banishing" the presence, I think it just leaves.

As I got older, I began hearing things in my head. It was like conversations that I could not quite understand but I could hear. Like a radio or a TV going on in the back of my mind. Then I began to "feel" when something was going to happen or that something was wrong. Months before my father's sudden death, I "felt" there was something wrong and that I would lose him. When my sister was pregnant, I knew the sex of the child. These are not lucky guesses. Whenever I feel this strongly about something- it is like an urgency or like there is absolutely no uncertainty, it happens.

Sometimes random pictures will flash in my head. When I go to public places often times I will feel overwhelmed and even claustrophobic. I can feel energy pulsing from my fingers and toes throughout my body. I get panicky and upset. I have tried taking a number of medications: anti anxiety, anti depressants, anti seizure, adhd medications. I have had numerous tests, cat scans, blood tests, EKGs, EEGs, psychological testing, etc. I was diagnosed with depression at one point, anxiety another, another professional said I could be bi-polar, and I was diagnosed with adhd. The physical symptoms could not be concluded. I have yet to respond to any of the treatments given. A psychotherapist, a psychiatrist and a general practitioner are treating me. I have seen cardiologists and neurologists all to no avail. I have had episodes where I feel so overwhelmed I feel like a rush coming over me and then I pass out. I have been hospitalized a number of times and tested for the incidences when I've blacked out - the brain scans and heart monitor concluding normal function. I get sick often. I experience headaches and ultra sensitivity to light, sounds and touch. Temperatures will change around me and I can go from feeling ice cold to really hot in a matter of seconds.

Friends, family and even strangers will share with me their problems. Most of the time they just want to talk. In addition, strangers will tell me secrets. Also, I noticed I am a "toucher". When I talk to people, I touch them. Sometimes I get a feeling or maybe a reading from them. I do not really like people to touch me, though.

I feel like a sponge just absorbing emotions, fears, etc. I feel like I am crazy. I am afraid to admit what I experience for fear that I will be committed. Sometimes there is so much going on in my head and around me that I get to the point where I cannot even think.

When I get upset, I am overly upset and often times there is no reasoning with me.

I have noticed that when I am dozing or when I am relaxing, meditating, I notice the conversations in my head more. They never talk to me except recently; I heard my name called while I was waking up one morning.

Last year, I resolved to allow myself to let these feelings come to me instead of blocking them out. After that, I have been able to have some clarity and connection with more people, animals, nature and my emotions. Consequently, I began to receive "messages" in my mind for people. It is weird, but I will all of a sudden think or feel like I have to tell someone something. It will be insistent in my mind and even a sense of urgency. If the message comes to me while I am sleeping, I have to get up and write it down just so that I can go back to sleep otherwise that specific message will keep me awake. The messages are vague or something I do not understand and I have to tell the receiver that I know nothing more and that they should know what I am talking about. Everyone I have given the messages to seems to understand or know what I am talking about, and although most are grateful, I feel that some people are suspicious of me. This new level where I am getting messages is both troubling and scary. I am not trying to pry into people's business nor am I revealing something to someone they thought was a secret on purpose. This part is the least of my worries. Opening my mind has brought more sensitivity to emotions and I feel panicky, scared, agitated and upset more quickly.

I feel like I am going out of my mind. My inability to block, control or channel what is happening is severely affecting my life. I do not know what to do or who to turn to. I need help with the hypersensitivity. I am becoming more and more of a hermit because I do not like being in public places. I can feel so much energy (both positive and negative) that I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel so over stimulated with my surroundings that I become physically exhausted. I am baffled by how so many people are oblivious to what is going around them while I am so acutely aware it is difficult to carry on normally. Am I losing my mind? Is there anything I can to do help myself?

On a random note: I am sensitive to metals. I have a hard time with piercings- ears, belly button.

When I am anxious, I crave water- drinking it, being near it- but not in a pool, more rivers, streams. There is a lake near my house and when I feel especially upset or nervous, just being near the lake makes me feel better. I understand this could be because nature is calming. I just want to be as thorough as possible regarding my story.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, angela36, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

hug100 (126 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-10-04)
I have no doubt that you are an Empath because I have lesser version of your symptoms. I figured out that I was an Empath and I see these shadow figures too but they usually try to attack me. When they try to I just say the lord's prayer and they go away. Of all the versions I like the traditional it flows better when your saying it.
dreaa (2 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-04-10)
Sorry to post again I forgot a bit.
I am highly anxiouse atthe best of times, have constant headaches and even this may sound laughable I have developed a sense for spiders. I know there in a room before I enter it and very often I know where they are located. This isn't Happeneing every time there is a spider somewhere in my prescense but often enough for me to wonder.
I saw a psychic last year and she told me that because of my great fear of them I have developed a sense for them as I am terrified, and living in Australia they are mainly very venemouse.
Im just extremly confused at the best of times and would like to know which is the best direction to take to explore and control all of this that I am feeling.
dreaa (2 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-04-10)
I have been so up and down my whole life with my emotions and feelings.
I have sensed things coming before they have happened. I was diagnosed with Bi Polar at the age of 17 but after a few weeks of taking the medication I stopped because it wasn't helping and I just know that its not that.
I sometimes can't got o a shopping mall as after 20minutes I feel so drained from the swinging of my emotions, I definatly cannot go grocery shopping with my mum as I instantly fire up for no reason after walking past several people.
My mother has told me for years I make other peoples problems my own, which for some reason I have never been able to help, I feel things I thought was just normal and coincedence when really the whole time I was feeling and taking peoples good or bad energy with me... The worst thing is I don't quite now how to release it afterwards...
There are certain people in my life who I don't have much contact with as they live on the otehr side of the worls and I feel what they are going through. Its bizarre, I am very connected with my mother which I always assumed to be normal as we do grow and develop within them for so long before we come to be on this planet of ours.
But I have the knack that someone could walkinto a room I may or may not know the person and I have my back to them even I can't see them at all and I canfeel what they are feeling.
I often get certain vibes about people and I can't explain it but I just don't want to have anything to do with them even though they have not showed any signs of being bad or no good, I just sense it.
Im only 22 years of age and from teh age of about 10 I have suffered with what I thought was depression but as I'm getting older and looking more into my own feelings and exploring the possibility that this may be a gift of some sort I have come to realise that a lot of the emotions I went through my teenage years actually were not my own, but otheres whos energy I had taken and carried with me around.
People often say there is something about you drea, people like to be around you and very often people I don't know well at all will come to me with their problems and issues. This is something in the lastyear I have had to slow down on as I cannot mentally and physically handle all of it on my own. I suffer from migraines adn get run down very quickly when I play counseller.
I think its also because if this is a gift I don't know how to use it exactly and control it. It facinates me but also can get really overwhelimg at times and well its a bit scary...
Any one have any ideas on how I can safely test to see if this really is something or not?
Cheers
Oracle101 (2 stories) (506 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-21)
Being an Empath means you feel what others are feeling. So working at a prison (as you have) and visiting Nazi Concentration Camps in Poland (like you did) was probably not a good idea. The reason why you are drawn to birds so much is because they represent freedom (think jailbird).

As for what mental illnesses you may or may not have, if all of the tests come back as normal then there is no need to keep digging. It is as though you are hoping to find something wrong.

Accept the fact that you maybe an Empath, possibly Psychic as well, and let it develop on it's own or when you feel more ready.

Yes there is a lot of anxiety in you. Meditate, take a deep breath, and practise being patient (rather than a patient).

When I do a Psychic Reading on occasion I can feel an increase in anxiety as the messages come through but with self-control, confidence, and patience I then pass on the message without my personal opinion or emotion interfering.

Remember, we are not God. We are only the messenger.

(in reply to the question you posted on my own story.)

Oracle101, Psychic and Medium for 43 years
Always happy to help others
For more advice on this subject and others click on my profile name to read my stories and other posts
kayrodz (3 stories) (16 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-17)
I just read your story, we are soo much alike, I can't believe it. I have a a huge grin on my face, because I know now finally that Iam not alone. I hope you are feeling that way too. I crave water too, but I have to drink it a lot. I have to buy one of those four gallon stand kind cause I drink 4 gals in four days, my healer told me, drink one quart for every 50 lbs you weigh, or you will wash the nutrients right out of your body and that's not good, cause you will feel weaker, just watch how much you drink. (don't quote that it's a guideline) I love to take baths, that's calming with some anti-stress natural oils helps, I get my at a organic grocery store. I pass out too. The last time I passed out, I was out of body, I didn't like that feeling, maybe it will be different now that I am admitting my abilities and accepting them now. My finace was calling my name to respond to him, I could hear him, but all I could say was iam ok, but I was looking down at both of us. Durning that time, I was living in this house that someone recently passed, and she did not want us there at all, we moved when I got my sickest. I have been such a home body for the past three years, I too hate going in public or crowed areas, my blood pressure is always high (trying to keep in down), and I get the worst headaches (third eye area) and I have panic attacks. Sometimes when I feel like I need to get something urgent said, I don't know who the message is for yet, that's frustrating, then I have a panic attack and almost pass out. Sorry I go on and on, keep in touch I think we might be able to help each other. Best of luck, also, I gave up and said no more tests, I am not a lab rat. Find a doctor that you trust and can ask questions, if you don't like what they are saying to you, you also have the ability to fire them, you know your body best! ❤
angela36 (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-17)
Aquaxamatista: Thank you for the help. Any advice on how to block or shield?
Aquaxamatista (1 stories) (62 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-16)
Yeah I agree with people. Go to places that really relax you and there's no people! You will feel a lot more relaxed and you might be connected to water so taking a long swim can also relax you! I don't know what else to say so good luck!
angela36 (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-16)
Thanks for reading. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how to meditate. Whenever I have to meditate, it seems so hard for me to concentrate.
jan (1 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-16)
You sound much like my son. He is 14 and definitly empathic.

My suggestion to you is to meditate and connect with your guides and angels and set up boundaries. This is very important. You need to learn to work with them in order to have some control of when you receive the information. Eventually with work and practice, you will be able to learn to turn it on and off at will. This takes time and patience. Trust me, I have been there. I know what you are feeling.
angela36 (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-16)
Sorry for all the posts- I didn't mean to keep posting the same thing.
Again, thank you for your help. Yes, I agree that there are more than one dimension to my gifts, which to me, are often burdens.
I am glad I you found my post and replied. It's funny, when I look back into my childhod, I was so much in control and accepting of what was happening. I thought everyone was like that.
There were friendly presences that were comforting and not at all scary. There was a man "George" who was seen all over my house (my house is an old house built in the early 1900's). He was around for a long time, but like my friends, we saw less and less of him and one day, he was just gone.
ermacd (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-16)
There's a difference between accepting your abilities and channeling into them. It seems as though you've done both. That's a lot to take on.

Try choosing one or two to focus on for now. But before you do so, decide what it is that you want out of life. Jumping right into your abilities can be draining and overwhelming. For myself, I've accepted my abilities but I'm only channeling into a couple of specific ones. The other ones I've shut the door to. I know what you mean by "opening that door" and I've done that. Only, I chose not to follow the path that led behind it. The empath that is in me is something that is unavoidable. It is part of who I am. That is what I am channeling into now.

For the meditation, start small. Go for ten minutes. The first bit can be quite overwhelming but like anything else, a little practice will bring you a long way. Some thoughts/feelings might burden you but you will recognize which ones to ignore, and likewise, which ones to focus on. Something that is very key is to find your inner voice, or inner light, or as I like to call it now, your inner intelligence. There is a part of you that can never be taken away or destroyed... That will help you in your journey and keep you from getting carried away. Maybe you've already found it. If not, meditation will eventually lead you there.

In terms of the dark presences, I've experienced them, but in different ways. Dark and evil forces are always there. I've found that accepting that fact and knowing to steer away from them has helped a lot. It's not necessarily about fighting against them. Remember what I said about consciously inviting postive/kind-hearted spirts in and focusing on good energy.

One last thing: Be careful about identifying yourself through your abilities and stresses. Taking on all that you have done may lead you down that road. It's crucial that you identify with that essence of being that is buried deep within. Find that and you will eventually find peace.
angela36 (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-15)
A few more things to add to my story:
I have a VERY STRONG connection to birds. I cannot explain the connection to them but they bring me comfort. When I am especially distressed, I will see a bird or an image of a bird and it makes me feel less alone. When I mentioned it to my psychotherapist, she told me it was a paranoia or something like when you buy a red car then you notice how many red cars people actually own.
My family has been such a huge support. I have two sisters and who also posess their own gifts. My father had a strong connection to animals. He was very sensitive to nature and I believe we got this from him. My sisters have told me for years that they believed I needed to learn how to channel my energies instead of blocking them or ignoring them. They have been there throughout my ordeal and I know it has been draining on them as well.
Water is a huge comfort to me. When I am anxious or stressed, I crave water. Streams and lakes are especially comforting to me- but not swimming pools.
When photos are taken of me, often there are orbs in the pictures.
I am distressed because I have seen healers but the relief has only been temporary. I don't know what to do.
angela36 (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-15)
ermacd:
I feel so relieved to have someone read my story and actually "listen" to what I am saying. Thank you so much for the advice. Do you have any tips on meditation? Honestly, I have tried and it seems that is when I am bombarded with thoughts, sounds and senses. I would love to learn how to relax.

Thank you for responding. I am scared but excited to be on this journey. It is such a comfort to know I am not alone in this and that I am not crazy.

Have you ever experienced something like the dark presences I described? If so, can you tell me how to get them away from me? Or figure out what they want?

I am sorry to bombard you with info- this is the first time I have been able to relate to someone. I have seen healers but they were not empaths.
angela36 (1 stories) (15 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-15)
ermacd:
I feel so relieved to have someone read my story and actually "listen" to what I am saying. Thank you so much for the advice. Do you have any tips on meditation? Honestly, I have tried and it seems that is when I am bombarded with thoughts, sounds and senses. I would love to learn how to relax.

Thank you for responding. I am scared but excited to be on this journey. It is such a comfort to know I am not alone in this and that I am not crazy.
ermacd (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-03-15)
Wow Angela, some heavy stuff. You remind me so much of myself in some ways. As a kid, I could never sleep much and I would often freak out over the smallest things because they were so overwhelming.

I was treated for anxiety for a very long time. I know that it was anxiety, but for the longest time, I never knew why. Growing up, I never had an outlet for my abilities. While my friends and classmates were busy going through puberty, I was fighting a battle with my mind. I never told anyone and kept it all a secrety. Consequently, the anxiety worsened and I hated going into public.

You need to know that you are not crazy. Yes, your abilities can be annoying at times, but they truly are a gift. You seemed to alrady have noticed that some people are accepting, while others are not. Being an empath, it makes it easy for me to chose who to open up to and who not to.

It seems to me that you have a very strong grasp of who you are and what your strenghts are. You're definitely empathic. But you seem to be on the psychic side of things too.

It's great to have the abilities, but it's difficult to balance it with a "normal" life. Like yourself, I spent much of my time with a general practitioner, a psychoanalyst, and a psychiatrist. I tried bringing up some of the things I saw and felt but it got brushed off as an overactive imagination, ADD, or something related to my father.

It wasn't until my time in South Korea and meeting the people that I did, that I started to realize what I was all about.

If you want to lesson the severity of your abilities here are some suggestions.

1) meditation
2) spending time in nature
3) doing activities that keep your mind quiet (for me it's watching movies)
4) hanging out with people who are "aware" and can talk with you one on one about the things you experience
5) telling yourself that you will not allow all those energies to enter you

I'm only new to all this stuff myself, so that's about all I can offer. It took me years to get myself back on track after keeping everything hidden and not realizing what was really there.

Now I've started working on finding a balance between my abilities and the so called "real world." Luckily, things are changing for the better for people like you and me. More and more people are accepting and there are even popular movies and television shows that revolve around various abilities. A big part for you is accepting who you are and then finding a balance. Some people choose to tap into their abilities for their full potential, but that can be very draining and take up a lot of your time. Decide on what you want out of life and how your abilities may help you get there.

Also, know that you are not alone, you are not crazy, and that you have something that so many people can only dream about.

Looks like I've kind of rambled on here. I hope it helps some.

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