I am a 26 year old woman and I have known since I was a child that I have had empath abilities I just always assumed that it was normal until I reached my adult years. As a child people would always just say that I was very 'in tune' with other people's emotions. I still never really made a big deal of it because it would always be with people that were close to me. In recent years I have started to take on the emotions and feel things from people that are not close to me and even sometimes total strangers. For example 3 years ago I started to feel really down and out and didn't know why and a childhood acquaintance (not a close friend) kept coming to my for almost a week straight. I found it very strange that this person even occupied my thoughts because me and her only spoke in passing and nothing more but I couldn't shake the thought of her. After a week of trying to figure out why she was on my mind and me really being down in the dumps with no just because I received a phone call that she had committed suicide. This really scared the crap out of me.
A better example was this past weekend I felt really down in the dumps and depressed once again and even cried numerous tears and didn't know why. Nothing is going on in my life for me to feel that way but I felt grief and confusion. I even sat around and did things that were out of character for me like sitting around with no music, television, and lights off. Which is not normal for me as I hate silence and dark. All day Saturday and Sunday I felt this way with no explanation and somehow I shook the feeling yesterday. Life went on as normal until today I was speaking with my cousin and she brought up a friend of her's name that I have spoken to in a friendly matter before but really don't know much about her. When my cousin spoke the girl's name a flushing feeling came over so I told my cousin to ask her friend if she had been really depressed about some things this weekend, after reluctance and calling me crazy a thousand times she did so and the friend replied in a text...'Yes! Your going to make me cry right now, how did you know, please stay out of my head'. After freaking my cousin out I explained to her why I told her to ask that. I actually have a feeling of calmness now I don't know how but I feel that her friend somehow projected her emotions on me.
People have always come to me for advice on things that they couldn't go to other people on because I help them see the deeper issues to their problems and emotions. I have not been trained or taught to do this. Its a gift that I have that sometimes I wish I didn't its almost as if I can see a person without their human mask on. Ironically my name in college was Mother Nature but, at that time I didn't quite know the significance it would hold but now I am well aware. There have been numerous others instances where I have even had my dreams reveal people's true fears and emotions.
The one thing that scares me the most is when I pick up on total strangers that I know have ill intentions and thoughts not necessarily towards me but in general. I work in a field that I come in contact all day with people from all walks of life and I jokingly say that when I get off work that I have had to deal with so many spirits I'm just tired. But truth is because I have to come in contact with so many people all day and deal with so many different emotions I am emotionally drained by the time I get home and I don't have a hard job. It has gotten so bad that I don't do anything anymore that requires me to be in a crowded atmosphere unless I absolutely have to. I have even had instances of grocery shopping and had to leave my buggy and go to the restroom and cry for no apparent reason.
I need to learn a way to block this at times before it consumes me. I don't mind having the gift because it has helped me to help others by saying the right things at the right time but is there some way to turn it off when I don't want to be bothered with it? Somedays I'm ok with just seeing people's masks I don't always want to know what they're feeling inside. Please help