One day I came to work. As soon as walked through the door, I felt angry. I couldn't explain it. Nothing happened to make me feel that way. The customers were behaving, my co-workers were all busy doing their various jobs, and everything was running smoothly. I recognized quickly that the sensation was bleeding in from the outside. It was like I'd breathed in air that was full of emotion, it was contagious. I had to fight myself to keep from slamming things around, or telling off the boss, or doing something else rash and stupid. It was so strong, it made me think for a minute, until I realized it wasn't coming from me, that I wanted to up and quit my job right then. That's how strong it was. Then, one of my co-workers, she was named Anna, she suddenly turned away from her station and marched back to the main office. Anna and I are not friends, and so when I came in, I hadn't gone around to her station to say hi or anything. I didn't even know she was over there, because she was hidden behind a bunch of racks and boxes, until she stomped off towards that office. What followed was a screaming match between her and the boss. (I'm not sure what about at this point.) She quit, though, yelling at full volume, and stomped out in a cuss-word studded fury. As soon as she was gone, and I mean immediately, the sensation of senseless anger lifted and was gone. Poof!
It wasn't the first time that something like this had happened to me, although, every time previous, the emotional bleed-over only happened during skin-to-skin contact.
I wish I could shut these feelings out. I don't really have a lot of my own strong emotions, and these emotions bleeding in from other, random sources will often overwhelm me. I used to be able to prevent it by simply avoiding touching people I didn't trust. And, if someone was transmitting something I didn't like, I could simply break the skin-to-skin contact. Now, this is no longer working. The feelings are coming through the air, from whoever feels like transmitting. I can't make them stop, and half the time, I can't trust that the emotion I feel is really my own and not some random nearby strangers'. I hate it.
Anyone know a way to stop the feelings from getting in? I just want to feel my own feelings again.