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I'm A Deep Thinker


I'm a deep thinker. I'm hoping someone out there will understand what I'm about to say. I think like an engineer. I build structures in my head about things. It looks like a tree. Its branches extend infinitely and in infinite number. They extend from one point to another. I build structures like this with people. I become people in my head and experience their memories and with their memories comes all their pain and suffering.

Sometimes it burns my soul like when I put face to close to a fire. Sometimes I feel a person is like a black whole consuming all the life out of me yet filling nothing. Then other times I feel everything stop like a wall of invisible ice suddenly freezing other everything instantly. I have told people things out themselves that not even their parents know about them because I feel everything about a person. I understand. I watch the subtleties in behavioral patterns, behavioral tendencies, little things people don't know they ever do, sometimes they know they do them but they don't understand why they do them but I do. Every time something horrible in my life happens it gets worse.

I have seen things before not with any kind of eye but with feeling. I have felt extremely horrible things, things about people and things about life. Things terrifying and thing there's no words to describe. I hate it but I hate the idea of not being able to do it better. I only need just a few small talks with someone before it will start to happen. Some people it happens the first instant I see them.

Sometimes it's like I jump into a pool and suddenly am immersed in feelings I get from other people. It never stops. Sometimes I can be like a bird looking down and seeing all the cars go every which way. Other times I'm in the hole created by such great negative Emery. Then still other times I am in a torrent of negativity. Ones of the weirder things is when I become other people. I know this is all kind of wild but I think its real. I also think I'm strongly connected with the moon, I'm a cancer, what a coincidence... I really need some people to talk to bad. Oh yeah, a few other things that's going to make this even weirder. I grew up in church and devoutly believe in Jesus Christ. I am also extremely suicidal sometimes because of what I see around me, sometimes I just don't want to see it all anymore. Please someone get back to me soon. I'm even willing to give my phone number out. I have been thinking for a while now I just need to go to a hospital.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Iunderstand, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Lyro (463 posts)
10 years ago (2010-04-30)
I'm glad:) you're far from nuts, and if you are... Then I'm screwed...:p
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
10 years ago (2010-04-30)
Iv come a long way since I posted my story. Reading yalls comments and the stories of people similar to me helped me to gain balance in my thought. I don't think I'm nuts or evil anymore. I have found many of the answers iv been looking for. I still have some questions, I will always have questions but I'm not stressin hardcore about it anymore. One of the biggest things lately iv learned is that all energy is like water. I try and imitate water. I don't feel like explaining that right now but if you visualize water in your head and how it reacts to other things you just might see what I see. Id still like to see new comments. I was thinking of starting a group on Facebook. Anyway, thank yall.
RandomSoldier (1 stories) (3 posts)
10 years ago (2010-04-28)
Growing up I was on all sorts of medications tripedal risperdal adderal wellbutrin all sorts of crap. Never seemed to help. In my opinion I think you should find a really positive person and try to live off their energy, that's how I survived "some" of my dark times. If you need help call a loved one that's the best thing I can say. I was recently hospitalized for a suicide attempt that my wife stopped me. I have come to realize that suicide is a selfish act and the only person it benefits is me the rest suffer. Try to take a step back... Call a good friend and take the advice of these people to which have also probably been through the same thing at one point or another. If you have no close friends ill help you however I can biddlethegreat AT and ill email you my number
Aquaxamatista (1 stories) (62 posts)
10 years ago (2010-04-28)
Woh! I totally know what you mean! I feel a lot of emotions of people when they are near me. Its irritating because I can sense strongly when they are sad and upset and it also kills me. I'm always trying to help these people but it gets tiring. If you want to talk then heres my email! Amatista [at]! I love helping people and it seems like I try some of my magic tricks on you! I will talk to you more when you email me. Maybe if you live in the U.S. We can even talk on the phone! 😁
AngeliqueBousier (3 stories) (22 posts)
10 years ago (2010-04-27)
Iundersand, may I please ask a favor of you? Would you find, if it's not too much to ask for, stopping by my posts and reading over them?

People have given me answeres but, some of them just don't seem to fit into what's been going on with me. I've read over what they say might be wrong with but, I just don't understand fully.

So, would you please stop by my stories and read over them? And, possibly post a reply to them? If not, that's understandable... I'm just looking for answers... 😢
tigg3rxox (guest)
11 years ago (2010-04-07)
I'm also a deep thinker, but I can't do what you can do. But sometimes (it's extremely rare though) I randomly imagine being in something elses place. But only for like a second.

Your really powerful. I mean, I feel so useless because I can't help you: (Try keeping away from people like that maybe?
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
11 years ago (2010-03-24)
You seem to discribe what do a little differently than me. When it happens to me its more random. When it happens and the depth of it I can't really very well. Seems the more I try to control it the less accurate I am. I tried talking to some people about it. One person calling themself a Catholic spirit healer told me to call a doctor and hung up on me. She seemed very impatient with me, not even telling me her name. The conversation lasted less than a minute. I was very discouraged after this to the point of anger. I really wish I could find some people that I can talk to in person. This site has helped. You are helping when you respond on here. I have had a lot of problems with people too. I can make friends really fast but I never keep them. I think I'm attracted to negative energy I feel from people. I have helped people in the past that carry a lot of negativety. I identify sources of bad energy, usually its a negative belief that a person carries and clings to. Then I tell them what they should do to stop them from holding the negative belief. I call it generating positive experience. I do believe a lot of this is less magical and psychological. I haven't really been very specific with much on here. Do you always have to touch people. I have to watch them speak, which is one of the reasons I start to think its just psychology. I really wish I could meet people so I could know for sure.
kayrodz (3 stories) (16 posts)
11 years ago (2010-03-24)
i get crazy headaches in my third eye area, not so much of a shock though. I am a touchy feely person. If a stranger starts to talk to me, I feel the incredible urge to touch them. Once I do, I either feel better talking to them, or I usually just get away if I don't like what message I get. I can't explain it yet though. It's a feeling I get, and I just know for some reason. Iam really good with animals and children. I connect really well with them, I know what my dog wants just by him looking at me. I have a lot of my experiences through my dreams, but they are starting to be more when I am awake. I am still trying to figure out how to understand them. I am such a home body, because it is extermely exhausting mentally and physically to be in crowded areas. My friends stop asking me to do things, cause I tend to turn them down, and I hate it, I need to learn how to be in public places and not be afraid. The important part is get away from those who are negative... Like me, some of the people I truly love are very negative thinkers, and it is hard, but try to not react to those you love. Reading, reading, reading, is helping me a lot. I go to the book store and library and let my intuition find the books that help. It calls out to me in some way when I see it. ❤ 😁
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
11 years ago (2010-03-23)
That was very thoughtful thankyou. Have ever felt a zap in your brain maybe while you were sleeping or trying to sleep? You would know what it is that I'm failing properly explain if you have ever felt yourself. Its kind of like getting shocked.
kayrodz (3 stories) (16 posts)
11 years ago (2010-03-23)
I know what you are feeling, iam a empath too. Iam new to just learning this myself so, I can only give the advice as I get it. Your abilities are stronger than me. I would love to be where you are at. You are probably thinking, why? We'll I too just went through a little of what you said about being in a pool of negative energy and emotion, I was constently having dizzy spells, panic attacks, and very high blood pressure, oh did I mention fainting. 😨 I thought I was going crazy, and was in the hospital a couple times over the summer, but all the tests are normal. I had a very negative spirit that was putting suicidal thoughts in my head too, I couldn't stand it. You have to be strong. You reached out to the right place, this is where I learned who I was. It is a great support group for people like us, who everyone you tell thinks you are crazy, but your not. Try google a holistic doctor, or alternative medicine doctor in your area. That was my first step, the best decision I made. Also, meditate. Imagine that you are drawing a chaulk outline of your body, go all around your outside fingers, toes everything, then say to yourself that this is your sheild. Any negative energies or emotions will not pass this chaulk line so it can not enter your aura or you. This was the best advice I got. Tell the negative energies that you feel or see, cause I do both, that they are no service to you now, and they are only allowed to give you positive advice, so unless they can help you only POSITIVELY then they are not welcomed around you... Then throw them, squash them, whatever you want to get them away from you... Be creative they hate that:) It helps me, I hope it helps you. Good look. ❤

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