I'm A Deep Thinker

I'm a deep thinker. I'm hoping someone out there will understand what I'm about to say. I think like an engineer. I build structures in my head about things. It looks like a tree. Its branches extend infinitely and in infinite number. They extend from one point to another. I build structures like this with people. I become people in my head and experience their memories and with their memories comes all their pain and suffering.

Sometimes it burns my soul like when I put face to close to a fire. Sometimes I feel a person is like a black whole consuming all the life out of me yet filling nothing. Then other times I feel everything stop like a wall of invisible ice suddenly freezing other everything instantly. I have told people things out themselves that not even their parents know about them because I feel everything about a person. I understand. I watch the subtleties in behavioral patterns, behavioral tendencies, little things people don't know they ever do, sometimes they know they do them but they don't understand why they do them but I do. Every time something horrible in my life happens it gets worse.

I have seen things before not with any kind of eye but with feeling. I have felt extremely horrible things, things about people and things about life. Things terrifying and thing there's no words to describe. I hate it but I hate the idea of not being able to do it better. I only need just a few small talks with someone before it will start to happen. Some people it happens the first instant I see them.

Sometimes it's like I jump into a pool and suddenly am immersed in feelings I get from other people. It never stops. Sometimes I can be like a bird looking down and seeing all the cars go every which way. Other times I'm in the hole created by such great negative Emery. Then still other times I am in a torrent of negativity. Ones of the weirder things is when I become other people. I know this is all kind of wild but I think its real. I also think I'm strongly connected with the moon, I'm a cancer, what a coincidence... I really need some people to talk to bad. Oh yeah, a few other things that's going to make this even weirder. I grew up in church and devoutly believe in Jesus Christ. I am also extremely suicidal sometimes because of what I see around me, sometimes I just don't want to see it all anymore. Please someone get back to me soon. I'm even willing to give my phone number out. I have been thinking for a while now I just need to go to a hospital.