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Demons And Visions


My name is Nick. The first thing I'll say is when I was a very young child I told my mom that there was darkness in my heart. I must have been somewhere between the age of 4-6 years old. What 5 year old understands anything about darkness in their heart? Other kids my age are zoned out to cartoons while I stressing over darkness.

As far back as I can remember I have had a very difficult time dealing with unreasonable fear. I'm inclined to believe demons often follow me. I see demons in my dreams sometimes. The demons in my dreams are not red skinned pointy tail cartoon caricatures. I have seen horrible things in my dreams. One thing at a time though. Its not so bad anymore, I have learned to deal with it but sometimes its still very hard to handle. Before I go on I will say that I am perfectly sane and spend a great deal reading and working out. Anyway, I have never seen them in the physical world exactly but I can feel them walking around my room. They walk up the walls and on the ceiling, through walls and doors, other times they just appear. Like I said before though, I don't see them in the physical world but I know they are there. I can also feel their emotion. I'm not sure if emotion is the right word though. I can feel them laughing at me. Sometimes they stand next to me or over me and just look down with a wide grin on their face. This leads me into the next part of my story.

The demons I dream of often have similar features. Sometimes their eyes are red, others times their eyes are white, then other times their eyes are yellow. Their eyes always seem to glow or flare like fire. Sometimes they have only a dark shadow where their should be light other time they have very defined figures. The main features that generally are the same is their eyes, mouth, and teeth. Their eyes I already described a little but one thing I left our was that they always squint their eyes when they smile. It looks as though their eyes would be really big except for their being squinted. Like I said before they always grin. Their grin is often very wide and sometimes appears to glow kind of like their eyes. Lastly their teeth. When I have seen their teeth they have been long skinny and very sharp. Humans have dull teeth used for chewing, sharks have sharp teeth used for tearing flesh, the teeth these demons have don't make sense.

These next few experiences are kind of crazy and I'm very skeptical of their validity. When I was younger, I must have been like 13 or 14 I think. This has only ever happened one time and I know that it can be confused with a mental disorder but I know its not. I was laying in bed awake and terrified like I often did back then. I heard a voice talking to me, not a physically audible voice, it seemed to come from inside of me. It spoke to me and I replied. I don't even like saying this because it is so outrageous to me. I believe the voice was Satan and he told me that if I wanted to I could be the anti-christ. I told it that I was a child of God and Christ was my savior and that all demons and followers of demons will be cast into the lake of fire. This is the only time this has ever happened before.

I was having a dream and in the dream I saw a figure whose figure I cannot remember. It was standing on the roof of a single story building next to another figure I can't remember either. The main figure floated up off what it was standing on and descended quickly down to me grabbing me by the arm. Instantly I awoke with pressure on my arm like someone grabbed me.

This is the really weird one and it was pretty recent too, within a month. I was sleeping in the back of my car in between classes at the college I was going to at the time. I was in a half sleep state and opened my eyes and saw a black figure in the passenger seat in the same car I was in. This figure was not an illusion or one of those spots you see when you stand quickly from having been seated for a while. It was a large pitch black figure where there should not have been one. It seemed to pull away from me and hide behind the seat but I did this thing with my eyes that I learned from trying to view the aura, the focus shift thing. When I shifted my focus it was like I was forcing the figure to come back out. The thing was now in full view. Now you must understand that during this whole thing I was utterly terrified to the point that I could neither move nor speak. Furthermore I was not acting on my own will, it was like I was doing all this automatically. Now for the really weird part. After I forced the figure back in full view I growled at it and flared my teeth like a rabid dog, remember that I was not acting on my own will. After I did that the thing very quickly disappeared and I suddenly snapped to and gasped for air, I was dripping sweat.

Here's one more odd one. I often can't sleep well and will drift between sleep and a half sleep state where I can move or speak but my eyes will open. In these half states its very hard for me to distinguish between the dream world and the real world. I was laying on my bed back when I was living in the barracks and I fell asleep but in that half state not real sleep. My eyes where open while I was dreaming and I saw my room with my eyes and in my dream at the same time. I can't tell if this part was happening in my dream or in the physical world but I saw a black figure standing on top of me. It was one of those shadow figures. It was looking down at my face and smiling at me, grinning rather, just like the other ones. I don't remember how that experience ended. Every time things like this happen I can't move or speak. I have tried to speak and move before when I'm in these half states but it is impossible until I finally just snap out of it.

I have a few other experiences but I really don't want to share them because of how personal they are. One particular unspeakable happening was when I had woke up from a dream and physically felt something make contact with me, it was not pleasant.

I have always been very different from everyone iv ever met. I feel like I have no connection with this world and that I have an incredible purpose that will only be fully realized upon my physical death. I'm a zealot for things I believe in and I will die for my beliefs. I have been told I have a very old soul. The first time I heard about this old soul thing was when I was like 16 years old. For some reason things just make sense to me, thus my name "Iunderstand". I understand how things work, things about life and the human being that there is no physical explanation for how I can know them. I just think about things and things simply come to me. Its like watching puzzles put themselves together. When I was 16 my mom began talking to me like I was some kind of therapist. I have helped many people and people that know me well have a great level of respect for what I have to say. I have also been told I'm empathic. I have a separate story about my empathic experience that I wrote back when I still was wondering if I was nuts or not. I'm much more educated now about myself than I was then.

Here's the last bit. This I understand the least of all. I can feel an energy inside of me. I use this energy when I lift heavy weights and also when I am angry. I literally feel power inside me but I don't quite know how to use it. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst. I am capable of many great things and I know that I am separated from everybody else around me, ever sense I was young I felt like this. I also know that I have a great purpose. I long and my soul burns with passion for something I don't know anything about. It's hard for me not to hate everyone around me because I can feel their shallowness and lack of passion. I can feel the lack of something the same way I can feel something actually being there. I have learned how to deal with people a lot better now. I used to have a great level of resentment and fury for everything and everyone around me. I have spent and spend a lot of time improving myself physically and mentally. I would now like to understand the spiritual more. I have read through the whole Bible and I study all kinds of ologies and isms.

Please speak to me with intelligence and respect, I will do the same for you. I spent a long time writing this and I really tried to word everything so that it is easy to understand. One last thing please don't hate on my faith, I'm nothing like any Christian you have ever heard of or met. My mind is open.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Iunderstand, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

ThulsaDune (4 stories) (107 posts)
5 years ago (2018-01-07)
Sandstraight and Tonysant,
I would like to send this message to both of you.
I understand that you realize that this post is a very old one and you are looking for discussion and help. I want you to know that if you click on peoples names that you can go to their profile page and read the last 20 posts that they have written. This can be helpful. You can also email them if you need to but be respectful. I post on here once in awhile when I am compelled to help someone.
I am a Christian and a psychic and deal with a lot of what you are posting about. I have dealt with many of the same things since I was a small child. Now I am 50 and still see things and deal with things on others behalf. Email me if you need to and I will answer questions you have.
Sandstraight (1 posts)
5 years ago (2018-01-07)
Thanks for posting this, I completely understand your experiences and can relate to them.

I had one similar experience when I was around the same age. I was laying in bed on my back in the half sleep state, drifting in and out of consciousness when I began to feel a presence in my room.

All of a sudden the paralysis struck and I was unable to move, I then heard a gradual high-frequency sound which progrssively turned into a multitude of laughter. It sounded like a great number of beings laughing at me in a tormenting way.

The high frequency sound which turned into laughter was audible to me but seemed to come from the inside of my head. It seemed like those beings laughing at me could communicate directly with my mind without needing a physical medium of sound.

The beings then physically appeared to me;

1. One sat on my chest, I could feel the physical pressure of it sitting on me. But unlike a human sitting in you, this felt like it had completely anchored my body and soul in place with other worldly force, there was no hope of ever moving without it leaving me.
It was staring down at me with a wicked ear to ear grin (similar to the 'Cheshire Cat' as someone mentioned earlier, this causes me to question whether the Cheshire Cat has demon origins) but this being on my chest had a small gremlin/monkey type body.

2. The other being was almost identical to the first but was beside me staring at me.

It's worth mentioning now that by this point I was filled with so much fear that I couldn't even explain to you with words. I could only move my eyes and I was so terrified that I did not want to look at the beings directly, they were almost daring me to but I could only look at them through my peripheral vision.

3. The third being was the most powerful of them all. The best way to describe it was a large shadow figure which dwelt within a shadow. It seemed to be the being with all the dark power which was orchestrating this entire ordeal. The two other beings were clearly its sub-ordinates and paled in conparison to it. It stood behind my bed, It had a figure but it's body and face were made of total darkness, it had no eyes or teeth. It's head and entire body were covered in drapes. If you go on google and type in 'Dementor' (the evil beings in Harry Potter) that is almost exactly what I saw.

The whole while I was trying to move my extremities, (fingers and feet) and call out but I couldn't. I eventually managed to call out a name but I'm not going mention it because I don't want this to turn into a religious debate, and I was able to break free from it.

The Cheshire Cat gremlin slowly faded away however so even after breaking out of this paralysis it's image still remained visible for a few seconds which leaves me with no doubt that this so called fictional character is actually based on these demon beings.

Sorry this was choppy and not well written but I'm writing this from my mobile with not much time to write. I could go into so much more detail but it will take me far too long to type.
Tonysant (1 posts)
5 years ago (2018-01-06)
Pls would like to talk I understand this post is old but literally everything said on this page has happen to me... I need to know more I need to know who it is or what it is... The part that got me was that he appears in my dreams but don't see him when I'm up but definitely feel him... He doesn't bother me anymore but he lingers all the time, I would like to put my email address up but don't want to get spammed, and yes he has the Cheshire cat smile, he changes shapes and forms but the grin that grin is always there
Timfaraos (426 posts)
8 years ago (2015-04-03)
There's a lot of talk about Jesus, God on this post, and that's good. Because only He can help, guide and protect us all, from our own rebellion, and from our human and demonic enemies. God, our creator, gave us humans a manufacturer's guide, a user's manual, (just like a car has). It is the old and new testament. If you read it and PRACTICE it, you will eventually develop a DEEP connection with our loving father Jesus, and his powerful holy Angels. Prayer and fasting will be your weapons. For more information on spirits, occult and supernatural, see my PROPHILE. Best of luck. God bless!
Idontunderstand (1 posts)
10 years ago (2013-05-15)
I am not sure if you will see this but my name is Rose i'm 16 years old and since I was around 10 years old I have been seeing things. By things I mean demons. Yes I have seen family that has passed but I have seen the demons that you say you have seen. They walk by my room at night. Some times the Demon is even holding a knife. When I see then I think I am going crazy. I won't tell my family because I am afraid they will think I am crazy to. I have tried so hard to act like they are not there but it is like if I act like they are not there they get more violent. They will come up to me and touch me or hit me and I will actually feel the touch or hit and the hits cause pain. I can not actually talk to them either all I can do is move my eyes. I have also heard a voice that I don't understand talking to me. Is there any way you can help me understand? I really feel like I am going crazy as I am typing now late at night I feel like a demon is looking at me. I just need help.
thatguy (7 stories) (43 posts)
10 years ago (2012-09-24)
your story seems to be a lot like mine. When I enter that half dream half awake state, I also open my eyes and have trouble distinquishing from a dream. I have had a demon thing offer me theological satanism, though I too wonder if it was just a dream of sorts. Visions while meditating in the car. The energy, I feel that constantly. I have been told by close family that i'm evil. Interesting.
jsoaps2 (6 stories) (131 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-24)
that energy you are feeling inside of you is your inner power. I have it but it is more pronounced. I have demons that follow me too but they don't threaten me or anything. They help me out on everyday life. That inner power can only be accessed only when you open your third eye. I am working to open mine. But once yoiu do you will be suprised on the results.
Eagleclaw (386 posts)
12 years ago (2011-08-16)
I'm sorry that your mom said that to you. But, I see now that she has seen you as a "knowing" person. Many people that have the ability to see & interact with spirits and demons are accused of that. For some reason they are coming to you. But, you seem to be just as strong as them if not stronger than them. When you growled & showed your teeth I think you sent a strong message to them. You went from being fearful at a young age to being a great contender now. The feeling that you have within is energy vibrations which are activated when you sense negative emotions or if you get angry. Try not to focus on negative emotions too much. Always think and react in a positive way. Your abilities will develop in time. Just be patient. You have these abilities so that you can defend yourself and others when need be. Just my opinion.
nikki-dabrows (2 stories) (6 posts)
12 years ago (2010-10-05)
Hey Iunderstand.

I can relate to a lot that you have written in your post... Especially the half sleep/ half awake stages. The shadow figure is probably my biggest fear because I believe him to be the devil or some other demon who just will not leave me alone.

Another thing that really grabbed my attention in your entry is the fact you said you feel some type of energy inside you, that you trigger when you're mad or lifting weights. I, too, feel that same energy within me... And often let out snarls and growls when I'm extremely mad or upset, which usually helps. My mom calls them my "tempter tantrums." Lol. Yes, I'm a mid-twenties little princess that throws tantrums still. I also can close my mind out at the gym and do an 170lbs leg press, whereas other days when I don't feel like concentrating, I can hardly press 90lbs. Maybe we're manipulating our own energies?
angel85 (1 stories) (11 posts)
13 years ago (2010-09-10)
I can really understand you. I can relate to some things in your story. I can see that I'am not the only one with strange experience. All I can say that happen to me also with not being able to speak until I got out of it. Its the first time I go through this. I'am glad I can talk here.
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-23)
To Naturalscience- Nowhere in the Bible does it say you must be on your knees when you pray. For me it is a preference. Lately iv really been trying to be more reverent towards God.

I don't know how old you are or how much study you have devoted yourself to but it is very apparent to me that you are a knowledgeable person. Please be careful though. Unless it is asked of me, I try not to come off as someone trying to teach. Most of the time I'm simply sharing what I know, through personal experience, for the benefit of others. When I used to go to church and when I was in college studying theology and philosophy I would debate and argue with people over what mixture of words was more right. This is pointless to me now. It does nothing for the soul. All it does is feed the ego by edifying the self. In the end it is all just prideful fluff. Pride is the number one separater and destroyer of relationships. My approach these days is to let my actions speak of the doctrine I believe rather than my words.

With all that said... I do still very much enjoy knowing rare things. Its simply far less necessary now.

Two great things iv learned and take very seriously. 1) some things are better left unknown. 2) knowledge can be very dangerous. I suppose 2 is true in light of 1.

Why do I feel like the only male on this site...: (
Rashidah (guest)
13 years ago (2010-08-23)
About the special meditation.
You can do that with any deity of your choice to communicate with them.

It is not only limited to JHWH alone.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-23)
Dear Rashidah, it is true that the names El and Yahveh originally designated different IMAGES of God. All "gods" and "goddesses" are just images, or aspects, of the Great Mysterious One; and all souls, no matter if they have decided to serve God and do good or not, are sparks from this Fire. But the letters JHWH which Jews use to designate the REAL NAME of God which no one can speak out, mean God in His/Her/Its Wholeness. What I mean is that the Hebrews have found a glimpse of the Real Core of "theology" - far beyond Gods and Spirits which they used to worship in early times. Some Jews - I read that in a novel about the history of Israel called "The Source of Makor" - think handwriting to be a holy thing as the Thora is a handwritten book; they use automatic writing for a special kind of meditation during which, if successful, the letters JHWH are supposed to show up before the mind's eye of the person meditating, which then means to meet with God Himself.
BUT ALSO THOSE LETTERS ARE JUST AN IMAGE! How else could it be, remembering we are just ONE species on ONE little planet in a huge universe which, as all believers are sure of, has been made up by ONE CREATOR?

Dear IUnderstand, if you think I am only your "sister in God" if I kneel for prayer, I feel sorry for you still having a narrow corner in your wide heart. As God is everywhere it is the right way to remember Him everywhere. And as He made everything, no matter if we humans call the thing high or low, He will notice with same openness that a soul remembers Him with love, no matter if the human to which the soul belongs is kneeling in a church bench or - sitting on the loo!
"To the Pure One, nothing can be impure" - except if He decides, from His free will, that He dislikes this or that thing to be done by His worshippers of this or that group or tribe. For Christians, He decided to tell them not to pray in any temple where there is worshipping activity under another name than "God Father" as Jesus called Him and under the name of Jesus Himself. For Jews, He decided to tell them not to use any image of Him - except His written name - for He is everywhere and beyond all things created. And so on. But I walk between all these collective activities, belonging to none of them though having tried many of them. I even think nowadays I would have quit Catholic church without the insults I mentioned, maybe twenty years later but I would have lost faith in THEIR kind of Gospel for good reasons everyone knows. The fact that the present Pope, some three years ago, advocated that atomic plants should be DONATED to Third World countries "to assure that they get electricity" would have confirmed this decision. How foolish, or even malicious, can a priest be to wish to give these nearly-eternal sources of death to the illiterate AS A DONATION?
I also quit the idea that Jesus died on the cross primarily "for our sins." Catholics think that "even ONE drop of blood from the body of Jesus" would have sufficed for a sin-removing sacrifice for all the world. So why should the Father have wanted more of one drop of blood? He is not malicious, or greedy, as were some pagan "aspects of God", which I think were not "gods" but just mortal demons, as the infamous Moloch that demanded ritual murder. Even the Roman agnostic judge, Pilatus, did not think it necessary to torture Jesus to death, he would have had him whipped and then freed, as the Gospel says. NOPE, the ones who wanted ALL the blood of Jesus were his ideological enemies: the Jewish clerical establishment which suggested to the people to call for the crucifixion. And when Jesus cried out on the cross "My God why did you leave me?" he himself, I suppose, thought his cause to be lost and his Gospel to be spoken in vain. In the delirium of his agony he forgot that God had promised him Resurrection.
"BUT GOD WOKE HIM UP AGAIN ACCORDING TO THE PROPHECIES" for which reason? TO CONFIRM HIS GOSPEL TO BE THE TRUTH! This was the primary point in the martyr death of Jesus. Not the sin sacrifice.
If the Disciples had grasped that instead of dwelling on the sin and sacrifice theme, the whole history of Christianity would have a better one. We would still have ALL teachings of Jesus. Everyone knows that important points of his teachings have been forgotten, or even criminally wiped out for sake of clerical interests. Remember the scene in the Gospel where Jesus sees the people "and he had pity for them as they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he taught them..." WHAT did he teach them? Everybody who reads this for first time would expect a whole bunch of teachings to come here, but only two meaningless words follow, as if just fixed in to fill a gap: "... Many things."
See what I mean?
To return to your suggestion to kneel: My body knelt a whole lot when I was Catholic. Since the time I caught a glimpse of the nameless God and grasped His properties of "Liberty Dignity Infinity" in which the soul in Heaven will participate for ever, and the enormous Distance between human understanding and His Wisdom, my heart kneels - no matter where I am and what I do. This does not mean that I am able to always act according to my conscience. I often am "yellow". All humans often do things below their mental or spiritual level because they have learnt to fear such things as police, prison, psychiatric hospitalization, hunger etc. Perhaps I would be less "yellow" if I had seen demons like you. I only know the "demons in flesh" - bad people having power to demoralize one even unto lunacy. I'm sure you have read Orwell's "1984" where is described how a person can be tormented out of her Self. Jesus, too, was tormented so heavily that ANYONE EXCEPT HIM would have lost his Self. But He did not. He knew who he was, except in the moment when he, deliriously, thought himself forsaken by God. That's the medical reason why I think Him the King of Sages, above the Buddah, Mahomet, Moshe and all those... Only the Son of God Himself can NOT be tormented out of his Self and remain Himself on a cross until dying!
So that was enough. God bless everyone who reads that, and His blessing shall be the courage to stand to your believing in God the Creator and, as a worship for Him, to help any creature in need; no matter if you be, as a consequence, mocked at, fired from job, mobbed out of your church community, called insane, or even called a fake.
Rashidah (guest)
13 years ago (2010-08-22)
Throughout history mankind has worshipped various gods. And there methods vary.

It is your choice or not to worship them. In the end we will all know if we were right or wrong.

I pass no judgement on this one. If you feel at ease in worshipping Christ then that is your will. No one should not fight you down for that ❤

Every one has the right to defend their belief system. That is why we are here on this site.
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-22)
To Rashidah- thankyou for brief history lesson. I do like to know the root of things.

To Naturalscience- My whole life, just like you, I have listened to other people tell me who God is, what His name is, what God doesn't like, and how He should be worshiped. I want God to tell me His name. I want God to tell me how to worship Him. I have heard plenty of opinions from humans. Let me hear God.

I often council my friends and even strangers sometimes. I use a technique I call separating myself from conscious thought so that I allow the object to tell me what it is rather than me tell the object what it is.

I'm sure that at different times in your life you have felt misslead and have not known exactly what to believe. I have often felt these things too. Even still I battle against doubt.

I was attempting to encourage you to get your answers about God directly from the source. When I pray I take a posture of humility and servitude. Sometimes I pray on my face, other times on my knees. It hasn't been until recently that I began this way of praying. It wasn't until I read the conjurations found in the Lesser Key of Solomon and the Sword of Moses that I began this way of praying. Reading them changed my life in a way that's kind of hard to explain. I don't think anyone nowadays properly understands the level of respect God is due when we speak to Him and about Him. In many of my posts when ever I speak of God or Christ, I claim Him as my Lord and that I am His servant. I must do this, yet also, I am glad to. I serve the Creator of all who speaks universes into existence and who's breath is the breath of life and knowledge. If you are my brother as you call me your brother, I would expect for these words to be "preaching to the choir". I wish more people truly understood who God is and the level of respect He deserves.
Rashidah (guest)
13 years ago (2010-08-22)
I will like to add something in hear.

Scholars have found out that Jehovah or yahweh as some would prefer to call him and El are TWO separate beings.

El is the Canaanite God of the Mountains and the King of gods. That is where christians get El Shaddai (God of the mountains) and El Elyon (God of gods) from.

Adonai was also used long before the hebrew tribe emerged.

The hebrews have a knack in burrowing stuff from greater and older civilizations before them.

The gods El and Jehovah were later falsely identified as one but they are NOT.

People fail to realize that hebrews were polytheistic in their beliefs. Read the first five books of moses and you will see how many gods they worship. They often came into conflict with them.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-22)
Hi brother IUnderstand! I will not kneel down in order to press God to tell me which name I should use for Him. For I am sure He understands any language, and religious beliefs are but languages, or perhaps tools, nothing more. The Golden Rule which Jesus preaches has been known since Adam and Eve, any religion will have it as part of its tradition - but one will take this core of truth serious and the other will let it disappear behind lots of ritual and clerical crap. Besides, God has NO name which could be called eternal. It is US HUMANS who give to the Great Mysterious One temporary names. The only original name God gave to Himself according to the Bible, JHWH, is never spoken out. Others, as Adonai Echod or El Shaddai, designate properties of God - the first means "The Great One and Only One", the latter means "Lord of the Mountains".
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-22)
To Naturalscience- I was raised Baptist but when I turned 16 I switched to reformed Baptist.

I too have felt MUCH rejection from my own people starting at a young age. I was the annoying one in Sunday school that asked all the hard questions nobody couldn't answer.

People have demons that follow them around, some people have 1 others like me have several. Demons usually move around in groups. Those people you encountered that saw you as fake are weakminded individuals who can't even resist the influence of evil while sitting in a church service.

I often thought I was the odd one as I'm sure you have the majority of your life aswell. The truth is, is that people like me and you are the pioneers of thought and changers of civilizations. We ask the ultimate question. "Why?!" And we don't give up until we find the answer, even if we most become a freak of society to find that answer. On the outside I appear normal I suppose but once I open my mouth its completely clear I'm an eccentric.

I'm often greatly inclined to hate those that are content with being handfed information and then parroting it around ignorantly. I have learned to take a more moderate approach nowadays. It is fruitless to argue with a deaf-mute. All you can do is pray for those around you and allow you own actions to be examples for others to follow.

Jesus Christ is Lord of me, Jesus Christ is Lord of all. He is the dreaded judge. He is also my big brother and my best friend. His spirit and His Word minister to me and teach me truth. I never will be able to fully comprehend why people don't go directly to the source of truth but instead turn to 2nd and 3rd partys. I read the Bible and though it is not perfect, the true Bible is written on my heart.

I live by this motto I came up with a few years ago, "do what you know and you'll always know what you're doing.". I challenge you to pray hard for a few days, on your knees, and ask God what He would like for you to call Him. Christ is the name iv been given, so Christ is the name I use. If someone gets my name wrong, I politely correct them, wouldn't it make sence for God to do the same?

Lastly... Please know this as solid truth. Christ calls each of His people by name and gives each of them their own individual purpose. Seek to find this purpose. Let all other strivings be ended.

My the Grace of God be with you friend, for by this grace, there go I. I hope to hear from you again.
NaturalScience (229 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-22)
Brother IUnderstand, greetings from Germany! I am an ex Catholic who has choosen not to go to Church anymore for if you are Catholic you have to confess during Mass that you believe "in the Holy Catholic Church" a sentence which I can't say with faith, and as both the Quran and the Bible call Lie and Hypocrisy the worst of Sins I cannot join in that Confession prayer anymore without offending God. Well, I do not do everything in my life allright, and some of these "sinful" traits of mine cannot be changed, but if there is an AVOIDABLE sin one should avoid it, right?
I do not see ghosts or demons - I tried but I am not made up for that. I also do not know if I am psychic at all. And I don't mess around with things like "I have five guardian angels how many do you have?" That's all crap. What counts is that Jesus is the King of Healers and of Prophets and that by grace of God, though literally nobody including me can understand Him, there still are millions of people of good will trying to follow Him, which means to "do to others as you want do be done to yourself", and to have deep admiration and love for the Creator God, how ever the respective person may call Him. Remember that Mahatma Gandhi prayed to God under the names of Ram and Krishna and was never baptised, but the life he led was that of a Christian saint, avoiding to have riches as well as never using violence or lies but often using the means of "penance" and fasting to make his goals come true, and his death was a martyr's. So this "pagan" Hindu man has become an example to Christians all over the world.
Now what did I want to say, originally? During a post of this kind I always tend to dissipation... There would be so much to talk about, that's why... Ay, it was about Christians making other Christians run scared, or even turning them into Atheists, by the blindness and cruelty of their ways. When I was a youth I joined a Catholic "club" called NEo-Catechumenate, which still is active world-wide and with millions of adherents. I learnt to play the guitar for singing their devotional songs. When I first was allowed to sing one beside the altar I looked joyfully toward the crowd, feeling happy to sing God's praise. But afterwards during that Service, the priest accused me of having been looking with a "do-love-ME" look onto the people, which meant that he thought me to just have "star allures" and not to love God but only to love meself and want to be admired. Nothing of this was true. But as it is forbidden to answer to such sacred criticism done during Neocatechumenal services, I was left alone with this idea and as it had been the priest of the group I was literally doubting for DECADES if I am only a wanna-be-star and not a person who loves God! Another thing was that I often burst into tears during Services, from repentance or "bhakti" (love and admiration for God), and that I knew from Catholic books that this was not a bad thing but a gift. So I was not ashamed to weep during Services, and I thought anyone of the believers here would understand this. Nope! Several of them said during those criticism rounds that I was only weeping as a "show". Which means they accused me of hypocrisy, of faking emotion before the very eyes of Christ - as you know, the Communion bread or consecrated hostia is the Body of Christ Himself, as Catholics believe... I NEVER would have been able to fake ANYTHING in presence of a consecrated hostia bread! But those "brethren in Christ" either really thought I was able to do so, or they just wanted me not to weep anymore for it was unpleasant to them and thus poured forth this false interpretation to silence me. I was a Neo-Catechumenal for three years and insults of this kind especially upon me repeated themselves. Moreover, this group discouraged any "mundane" social or political engagement and wanted people to be passive and obedient even where active help or just "opening the mouth" would have been more reasonable and more Christian. And they played an absurd game of "cadaveric obedience" toward their central leaders which went so far as to discourage any change in rhythm or melody of the devotional songs as disobedient - no jazzy jamming, no spontaneous outburst of song, no "tongue song", using the guitar only as told from others, for all our lives... What a lifeless kind of devotion! Any blackbird has more freedom of devotion than a Neo-Catechumenal! So at last I not only left Neo-Catechumenate but quit the Church as a whole. I even tried to become an Atheist, for the time of four years! I am glad to have noticed that abolishing God would have meant to me losing reason, becoming insane, as the Bible says: "Only the insane deny the existence of the Lord." So, later on, I delved into Humanist Psychology and, even more, into Hindu and Buddhist theological ideas. That is why I call God, nowadays, Jah but as well Shiva - read my former post about it. But after looking intently at the Masters and Gurus of the East I see them all as inferior to Jesus Christ. They are paladins - He is the King. If one regards Him as the ONLY king to be obedient to, he/she will become a perfect anarchist - no government will be able to control him/her, as he/she will interpret all orders of government through the "spectacles of Gospel" and break them if necessary to help a person in need or to disculpate a person falsely accused. Gandhi was such an anarchist of God, MLK was another. One can even serve Jesus without being convinced of the existence of God - anyone who tries to "love the Neighbor as you love your Self" is His servant. I dare hope that millions of good-willed people from Atheist countries will be saved on Latter Day for having done this, even if they never prayed, never read Gospel and never were baptised... Do you really think this to be too much for Jesus the Judge?
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-12)
to eye24- Rountree11b [at] I hope to hear from you soon.
eye24 (guest)
13 years ago (2010-08-12)
okay but give me your email than and I will tell you 😊 and its a lot
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-12)
Please say what you like. I'm the easiest person to get along with, even if you have some critical or negative to say.
eye24 (guest)
13 years ago (2010-08-12)
okay I'm just saying what I know. So don't take this in wrong way or anything. And if you think its nuts you just tell me and I will stop. Okay?
eye24 (guest)
13 years ago (2010-08-12)
I'm not trying to be rude and sorry I thought you will not be so excited about what I have to say and I don't understand when you said don't bother us here I'm just trying to help. And I'm female 😆
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-09)
To Lindajean- Thankyou very much. Isn't it sad that total strangers are often easier to relate to than your own family. Maybe I'm getting strangers and family mixed up...
lindajean (5 stories) (109 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-09)
That's true. I learned real quick not to talk about anything that wasn't "normal" as early as 2yrs old. Sometimes I would say I saw someone, not knowing they had already passed! I still don't talk about it with my Mother. My husband was a skeptic when I met him 24yrs ago, he is the only one I talk to about these experiences. You will know when the time is right to talk about it. I'm still not completely open to everyone, only people that are open to spirituality. Don't feel bad, feel special! Your Mom is caught up in her own beliefs. My Mother in law has gone so far as to tell her parish priest that I don't believe in God! I told my husband, out of everyone in our whole family, I am the only one who has felt and experienced God personally! 😊 Try and keep the peace, don't start a religious war with your family. ❤
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-09)
I just got off the phone with my mom. Stupid idea, I'm retarted for thinking it would be a good idea. My own mother. I tried to tell her about these things. The conversation lasted less than 5 minutes. "You need to bow down before God and pray" bla bla bla, same predictable nonsence. Funny thing is just last night I prayed for long time prostrate but she wouldn't know that. Christians are called to love. I feel like the only true Christian becase I really do try. Be careful when talking to people about things like that are posted on this site. I can't even talk to my own family about any of it.
Iunderstand (3 stories) (153 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-09)
I mean that I would like to hear a more detailed explanation.
IntoTheBlack (66 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-09)
IntoTheBlack (66 posts)
13 years ago (2010-08-09)
[at] Iunderstand

I don't mean to pick at every word, but... This here can be understood in two exactly opposite ways

"To Eye24- Please go on."

As in, "explain further"... Or... "move onto the next thread and don't bother us here"...

While I'm voting for the 2nd one, Mr Eye may well assume it's the 1st 😐

As to your experience, I wonder if American McGee's rendering of Cheshire Cat is based on the demons you're seeing...

It's kind of awful looking, and the grin is almost like what you're describing

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