I have always, always loved children. My first word was "baby". When I was only about 1 year old my mother found me in the kitchen rocking a milk bottle in my arms and saying "baby" (it had a picture of a baby on it). I still have my childhood dolls, which I always loved dearly and still do. I can't wait to have my own children. I've been doing babysitting since the age of 14 (I wasn't allowed to before that).
Also, since about six years ago, when I was 10, I have been "collecting" children who died in the past: in sinkings (the Titanic, the Lusitania), by murder (the Moores and Stillingers, Fanny Adams), by parental abuse (Caylee Anthony, Riley Sawyers), in accidents (Ava Rosemeyer, Lara Bota), etc... I also collect post mortem pictures of children from the Victorian Era (believe it or not, it was a very common practice which was not considered as morbid at all). People call me morbid, but I don't consider myself as so at all. By "collecting" all these names and pictures of children, I feel like I'm looking after them, protecting them. It's almost as if I was adopting them.
But what nobody understands, not even me, is why I feel such a strong love towards children. I mean, it's seriously overpowering. I love every single child in the world, even if they're screaming and naughty - I would adopt all the children in the world if I could. But I don't understand why. Why is it I love children so much, much more than I should?
Then there is the other side to it: I don't just love children, they love me too. They are attracted to me as much as I am attracted to them. I've had children staring at me when I was on the bus to school, or walking down the street. Babies stop crying when I take them in my arms. I seem to be able to naturally communicate with young children and explain to them what I want them to do without them having tantrums, and I'm the one who always looks after the little ones when my parents have parties with their work friends.
But there's more to it: most of the ghosts I have seen are those of children. I've literally have had child ghosts following me around ever since I was a child myself - I remember I considered myself as their teacher, and I would teach them to read and write and do maths and so on, basically the same stuff as normal schoolchildren. And then, when I considered they had learnt enough I sent them "on". I am also able to "summon" children from the place they are (don't worry, I send them back afterwards). The first time I did this was when I was 11, and I was obsessed with the sinking of the Titanic. It was night-time, and I was alone in my garden and whispered the name of a little girl who was on the Titanic. Just then the wind came up, and I felt a hand in mine. She was there.
In one of my other stories ("Dreams, or are they?") I wrote about a place I go to every night. Of course, I can move around and go to different places, but the place I live in is a city, called the Golden City, and it is in a place full of light. The city is so beautiful, and entirely golden. There are other cities too. But the Golden City is only inhabited by children, all of whom are dead. When I go to this place, I look after all these children and protect them, and I feel happy because I feel like I am doing what I am meant to do: to be with children.
That is my story. I feel like I am meant to do something with children. But what is it? What do you think? Why do you think I have such a bond with children?
Thank you for reading!:)
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