Growing up in a strict religious family, I was always told I was a strange child. I always spoke matter of fact and acted older then my age. People would always say I was an adult trapped in a child's body, which brings me to my earliest memory when I was 7. My aunt became upset with me after I told her that I didn't believe in our religion but I felt that there was something else out there. The next morning, she frantically woke me up by asking, "Where did you get this?" I looked down, clutched in my hand was a small card from her deck of versus with a passage that referenced the path in life I would take. I should probably mention that the deck of cards were located in a box, which was stored away in a drawer.
Ever since my sister passed away, it has been hard for me to go to the grave site. It's not due to death but the feeling that comes over me. I feel like I'm being watched, insects on the grave (my most feared, spiders & bees), unable to form my thoughts and feeling urgency to leave. My most recent visit was November, 09'. I knelt down to unlock and remove the built in vase which was met with a large nest of bees that didn't react to my hostility.
I recently moved across the country. My roommates had left & I had the house to myself. Trying to relax, I turned on upbeat, dance music. Everything was normal, until my favorite song came on. Suddenly, it slowed down to an unrecognizable beat and the voice changed completely. It sounded like an adult male, who was singing with such a passion. I couldn't wrap my mind around it and quickly turned it off.
About two weeks later, I was lying in bed sleeping. I opened my eyes all of a sudden & saw two bright, white, moving circular forms on the ceiling above my bed. Instantly felt they produced the energy of happiness & playfulness. No harm. Most of my encounters are at night. I was once awoke /startled by a breezy, soft tone, woman's voice very close to my ear, who said "wake-up". Turns out, I had over-slept & almost missed a very important meeting.
I catch myself in a daze, feeling that I'm not alone, that current events have already taken place (like déjà vu), I know things before they happen (what people are going to say, etc), the ability to alter people's emotions, reading others upon meeting, I know things that I shouldn't and have to no recollection of how. In the past, I have been looking for something & can't find it but all of a sudden it appears right out in the open. This leaves me confused & wondering, how did that get there? Did I move that? I just looked there, how did I not see it before? Recently, I've been experiencing a wide scale of emotions that is out of character and at times I become scared of the dark. The chills,goosebumps, smells, and a connection to what I believe was my previous life.
All of my experiences are without warning. Does flying in dreams mean anything? It's always the same. Indoors - I'm in control, fly close to the ceiling; I have a sparkling blue aura around me. Outside - It's too powerful, like a magnet sucks me up into the air. I have no control. I've woken up to literally feeling like I just dropped back onto my mattress, it feels completely different from when you trip or fall in a dream. It hurts!
There has been so many times in my life that has left me questioning, I could go on for days. So, I guess I'm looking for help. I'm more than willing to accept whatever this is. Anyone have guidance or advice? I appreciate it more then you'll ever know. Thanks, Alis - firstname.lastname@example.org