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Fighting For Truth

 

My name is Katt my story is... Long and filled with question that I may never know the answers to. That is my dream that in all the lies that I may find the truth. My one request is that you would consider that by commenting on my story you effect it. In some small are perhaps large way. So please I ask you to he honest and sincere. To not take this lightly. I must say I only tell this version of the story to close friends in telling it in this way I feel exposed. I pray that you would look past the long rants and help me find some answers. This is my one and only request.

As a child I saw no auras that I know of... I was quite normal in fact... Happy. My father played Dungeons and Dragons in college and I remember looking at the pictures in the monster manuals. Maybe that is why my imagination grew The one fault to my normal life was in my sleep. I can not tell you the first time the dreams came or even why. However, no child should ever have seen the things I did. Friends, family, and even my own demise. These dreams are very graphic and detailed. In some even the innocent ones I can feel pain in a dull since. I never woke screaming. It was like I knew it was a dream, but some seem so real I might have lost myself in them. I still have these vivid dreams in what some way I can control now. The blood and gore is reduced as I've aged. I don't know if these where from movies likes I may have watched or what. I don't think I ever watched movies that... Bloody when I was that young but it could be possible. Another strange thing that set me apart was while other children ran to get their parents went frighten I walked up to the image I believe what a werewolf head or other scary things to prove to myself it was something other than what I believed it was. I stranger in the dark was just an empty corner. When I thought of monsters I dispelled them in a song. Not once did I run to my parents for help. I didn't like to be alone however. I don't know why but I wanted company when I slept so I would sleep in the hall on the cool tile floor or by my brother's been or with great skill snuck in my parents water bed without them knowing.

When I was in middle school I spent a lot of time with a woman who rented a trailer from my grandparents. She had rats that I loved to play with and a collection of cats. I felt... Calm around her. She would tell me stories and the more I hung around the more she told. She told me of past lives and meditating. She taught me how. She said I had many past lives and I was a very important person in some on those lives. I believed her. Maybe cause I wanted it to be true. She told me I was an elven vampirc demon. This seemed to stretch it but I didn't want to be human and I did share some qualities of at lest the elf and vampire however her only comment on the demon was because I like snakes. This seemed weak even then. She brought out a spell book and taught me very little of magic. This in the end is why I started seeing her less and less. She made many claims I do not think she really knew what she was talking about. One the pages moved by the wind were the spell book leading us to spells... I didn't think this was true. She moved not to long after my visits became fewer. Also my parents didn't what me hanging around her.

In High school I felt things... Like when friends lied to me when I didn't think they were telling the truth. I started to be more aware of things around me... My last two years in high school I cut all loose ends I started living for me started being the person I wanted to be. I grew in Christ and did his work. My first year in collage I meet another wiccan. I seem to attract people... That don't' fit in the normal category. My best friend in high school was wiccan... She was one of the loose ties... But for other reasons. This girl and I got along right form the start it was like I had known her forever. I was going to instruct her that I I did not believe in wicca and that God was the right path. That this fantasy world no matter how much we wish it would never become real. However, my plans were thrown away when we started talking about her book. I told her plot and the first letter of some of the other towns in her story. I describe the village in perfect detail. It was elven of course. We stared at each other in complete shock. I asked when she saw the story did she see it as her doing the deed or as if she was merely reporting the scene. She was the reporter. When I described it I imagined myself walking in the village... The story was from my point of view. This is not the only time me and this person have done this. She is now a good friend of mine.

Another good friend is Kacey he and I talk about such things. He taught me how to make a psy ball and we try to read auras together. I say try because it is not a natural feat and I wonder I time if we project what we want to see. Same with the psy ball witch is a ball of energy, but many people can feel our psy balls we have done test. Also I have transferred energy. I was trying to send an image to someone by touching hands and instead a high level of energy took him by shock and he was fighting to get out of the car. Marc the guy I was sending the energy to was not use to this, and he was every taken back. Kacey and I have done this one other occasion he had to much energy and I tried to take some from him. Once again I'm not sure if this is just in our heads because we want to be more than just normal. Both Marc and Kacey show signs of weird abilities. Heh, there is just so much to tell and I feel like I've already wrote a book.

I will put this when at the gypsy queen grave yard we got an evp after I got done speaking in a male voice saying clear as day that it want to kill me or us it use you. Something like " I really want to kill you right now." I feel like things are watching me at times. This may have been why I never wanted to sleep alone when I was younger. That really scared me and I'm not one to scare easy. I will stop here if you want me to tell you more I will but I really want some feed back on what others think of this... There is so much to tell. Do you think this is all bull or that something could be... There. I'm not sure what I am looking for. I was so ready to put all childish thoughts of powers, abilities, and strange worlds out of my head, but these past two years have... Unnerved me. Plz, what are your thoughts.

I feel like I keep growing but I don't know what to do with all this.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, firekatt, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

firekatt (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-07-16)
Thank you all of you. I am aways open to knew ideas Rain I think you are right it's just hard for me to give my heart in full to something I can not see or prove. I have been alone and in darkness torn by friends and even family. I have felt the light and warmth of God's love. I have seen the things I pray for come to life but my heart still pulls to nature and a world that others say isn't real. Heh, the Bible says heaven is streets of Gold and big houses, but I dream on woodlands filled the animals like the garden where humans where first placed.
My dreams always feel real. I never have one that does not. There are sometimes where I am kissed it feels so real If I wasn't sure I lived alone I would say someone kissed me in my sleep lol. I still can't explain my energy or why I ache to be free like an animal to run in the wind like a horse, to fly like a Bird, to hunt and be one with the land like a wolf; but I do so much it hurts. I rarely cry but thinking of such times makes me tear up. Thinking that this world I see will never be in my life makes me fall apart and often on nights that I lay thinking of it I cry myself to sleep. I don't try to be different I just am. Even if I try to blend in with the world I'm still set apart. I'm too hyper, too outgoing, too loud. I do get comments like I'm the cool nerd.:) I've learned to live with it but I never asked or tried to be weird or strange. Why would anyone try?

Plz anymore comments will help I'm sure:)
Insanity (5 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-29)
I can say that we are really different in ways. Though, I can relate with the first time seeing a new comer and it feels like you known them like forever. Also with the sense of tellings lies or not. Even with the watching I keep feeling that too. In my life I have always feel like I have been watched or something or maybe just these past couple years. I can say that we aren't that same. The point that I am right now trying to make is that you shou;dn't try to be different when it comes to those kind of things. It's not good for you honestly, I wanted to try those things for myself too, for me it turned out bad trying things like that. Like, powers I say?

For sure, now I can say that you shouldn't believe in people easily if they just say that out of random times. I am saying this seriously that you shouldn't get out of that normal life and if you did you will regret it lots! It's harsh pretty much.
MidnightBlueSwan (8 stories) (134 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-29)
Welcome to the club. I dream about death all the time, but not my own, just me killing all my beloved family and friends. Sometimes it's so real that it feels like reality more than a nightmare. I also understand the part where you thought you weren't human. Actually, a lot of the people you see in your every day life aren't really mortals to tell you the truth. I for one am not, neither are three of my closest friends. We're friends now because we have been for millenias now. If you have any questions, feel free to email me, seeing as you are like me.

~Wisdom comes from experience
Rozeyla (8 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-29)
Seems to me like you are a lucid dreamer. I don't like to be alone at dark somehow, I feel things...something. This woman you are talking about, don't be with her. Dont hand with her, she seems dangerous. You are not a demon, you are a human. There is nothing good about being a demon. It was a good suggestion to get away from her.
Kahlyn (4 stories) (311 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-29)
Firekatt,

I find that the truth is a fluid thing. Everyone has there interpertations what is the truth what is not. My dreams were vivid in nature but had nothing to do with my "death".

The more normal I try to be and the more miserable I became. I tried to quiet my abilities but that is like cutting off one of your senses.
Adaryn7 (6 stories) (460 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-29)
"I've found out many things for myself, but there is no certainty of truth, so at some point you have to trust in something without a shred of proof."

Rain you are so right; that's called 'faith', isn't it?;)

Firekatt I am surprised by how much of your story I am able to relate to. I used to have terrible, gruesome nightmares as a child, and my parents could never understand because I wasn't exposed to any movies showing the kinds of things that I saw. I had, however, been exposed to the Bible. I am not saying that children should not be exposed to the Bible, but that parents and leaders should use discretion when doing so, as many of my nightmares involved death, destruction, and being "left behind" in the rapture. All these themes are in the Bible, and when children are taught to take them literally, this can be damaging as they are not yet able to comprehend what they are exposed to. I don't know if this has something to do with your nightmares, but it may. It may also be things that you recall from a past life.

My nightmares have subsided as I too have grown into an adult. My dreams nowadays are still just as vivid, but a lot more interesting and fun, and I have far fewer scares.

Also as with me, just as I thought I was getting to the bottom of things, and seeing the "Truth"--that there was nothing beyond this physical existence--negative spirits began to visit me, and though I couldn't see them, I felt them, until I realised that I could no longer pretend that they weren't there! Now they don't seem to bother me as much, and though I have many things in my life that I need to work on, I am slowly growing and learning as a person, and I sense that you are too.

Peace and blessings to you on your journey
Adaryn7
Rain (4 stories) (191 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-29)
I used to have nightmares as a child as well...
I still do occasionally, but not nearly as often.

You are fighting for truth. I've been told a lot of things over the years. I've found out many things for myself, but there is no certainty of truth, so at some point you have to trust in something without a shred of proof.

There are only a few things I believe with utmost certainty, and they aren't things that can be proven to anyone but myself.

I believe in God. I believe that everything will work out in the end. I believe that there are forces beyond what most people see. I believe in hope, light and love. I also believe in righteous anger. I believe in darkness, I believe in pain. These are things I've experienced. I think the only way to truely believe in something is to experience it in some way.

I can't convince anyone that these things exist, and I've decided not to try. It's enough that I believe in them.

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