Recently, I was re-visited by this spirit who may be some sort of guardian. I've seen him before in my dreams since I was a child, though sometimes he looks a little different. I remember one dream where his eyes kept changing color. His energy feels the same, though. One time, I asked him who he was and he told me this whole history of who he was, pleading me to believe him. While he was telling me all this, he was sitting on a chair while I was on the floor. I remember hugging him in my dream asking him if we could be together and have children, and he said no but that he loved me. Now, my husband and I had recently been talking about (not) having children in a general sense, so it is likely that the whole scenario was based on my thoughts. However, why did this spirit tell me who he was? This dream took place around 1 ½ to 2 years ago. When I told my father about it (since my father used to see things in the past and still can when he wants to), he seemed angry about it and said he'd "take care of it". I don't know if it was the idea of a spirit contacting me that bothered him or if it was this one in particular that bothered him. This spirit tends to appear behind a thin veil of darkness, but I think that is usually because he appears in my dreams. He always seems to keep a respectable distance and doesn't try to have sex with me or anything like that, although he does appear to have some sort of longing and love associated with me.
There is another spirit that seems to have good intentions that watches over my family and keeps us all safe (or at least that's how I view him). He has appeared to me very clearly and can make objects move (not an easy occurance), but tends to keep tabs on my father more than me. I've only seen him twice in my life clearly- once when I prayed for someone to share my life with who would understand me (and was sent the man I now call my husband, I believe, based on what I prayed for); and again when I prayed for a child (but am waiting on my husband to agree, if he ever does, which is what I told this spirit). When this spirit can't be there, there is another spirit that acts more like a messenger who relays messages, usually to one member of my family in particular. It was really weird because I remember one night, the messenger (not the stronger spirit) just stood there in my room watching me sleep for what seemed like hours. I knew he was there, but neither of us were strong enough for there to be any sort of psychic message pass between us. It really weirded me out.
As a side note, about 6 months ago, I wanted to know when and if I would ever have children. The response I received unexpectedly in an audibly clear female voice was "3 years after you start working for [name of company]", which sounded like such an odd thing for anyone to say. It's especially odd now that my career plans have changed and I have no plans to work for that company.
Then, maybe a week or so ago, I had a really weird dream that I was pregnant but didn't know it. I had an extended belly, but since I am on birth control (less than 1% fail rate/year) I didn't think I could be pregnant. (I was debating this with myself even in my dream.) I had a really intense pain in my upper abdomen as if my insides and muscles were stretching and shifting as if I moved through pregnancy all at once and was suddenly somewhere around 5-7 months pregnant. I remember how I looked in the dream because I was looking in a mirror. In the dream, some members of my family were discussing this incident both to me and each other about how I should know if I was or not. Then, right before I woke up, two women (or spirits, not sure which) were whispering in the background about when I should know..."6 weeks?" said one; "36 weeks" said another. And yes, I realize that is a HUGE difference! I also remember the fear of others finding out before me in my dream. (Later on, I realized the upper-abdominal pain may have something to do with my solar-plexus chakra.)
When I woke up, I remember feeling the spirit I usually see only in my dreams standing next to the bed, and that freaked me out a lot because I'm married and why is this spirit bothering me? I felt as if he had something to do with my pregnancy dream (although he wasn't in it; but he clearly wanted to let me know he had caused it). I don't know if he was sending me a warning of what was happening behind the scenes or what. I think the not knowing this spirit's motives are part of what makes me uneasy. (I don't see him as necessarily good or evil; more in the middle.) When I forget this, however, I feel protected by the spirit. I feel like for whatever reason, he has sought me out and sworn to protect me on some level for some reason.
I also had a feeling like it was "time" for me to become pregnant a couple weeks ago. This was as if it was being suggested to me by another entity. However, my husband and I are not financially (nor is he emotionally) ready.
The next day, I was having another weird dream about something altogether different, but I woke up to a spirit whispering, "Papa, papa, papa, papa" as if he was trying to get another spirit's (or my) attention now that I was awake. But if he was trying to get my attention, wouldn't he have said "mama" or "lady" or some other feminine word? I heard this spirit when I was in the half-awake state between being fully awake and fully asleep. Usually, the only time I hear/see/feel spirits is in this state. I have even felt them as solid entities in this state, though that's hard to explain.
I don't know if it's just the building or what, but sometimes I hear random tapping sounds and lights "ding" as if the light bulb has just burnt out, but the lights may not even be on at the time they make this sound. Chairs will also randomly creak as if someone has sat in them, but no one will be there. I would normally just say it's the wood adjusting to temperature, but the temperature is kept relatively consistent in the home.
I have also had two dreams that I don't want to get into all the details where, basically, I was a "chosen" one. In the first one, I remember a woman agreeing with the other members of some council stating "She'll do" even though I didn't have blue eyes, leaving me to wonder, "I'll do for what?!" And in the second one, I was with a group of religious figures (some well-known and some not so well-known) and was waiting for "my turn" and was getting impatient because the person before me kept reading the part that was supposed to have been mine. However, when I did start reading, the part of the dream that stuck out as the heading for the part I ended up reading could be loosely translated as "Our Work". (Alternatively, it could have been the name of a business.) I was told by a family member that the dream most likely was related to events in my life at the time, but I am not so sure. I also found it odd that I was reading (in my dream) in a language other than my own. Also, spirits tend to do a double-take with me, not really recognizing me at first (that's the best way to describe it), but I am not sure what this means. After they do, I get varied responses.
Why is there a whole team of spirits watching over my family? Is this normal for everyone? What does this all mean? Should I just ignore it all and go on about my day? My abilities have gotten stronger over the past year or two, and I don't know why other than that I've been through some massive life changes. Should I seek a spiritual teacher? Should I ask for a spirit to guide me? Should I just trust myself and see all these things as normal? What is all this about? And who is the spirit in my dreams? Is he who he said he is? Should any of this matter to me? I feel like I'm going crazy with the being able to hear spirits, but not simply because I am hearing them. I feel like there is a whole war for power going on in another realm and I am some important pawn (though not a bishop or knight or anything) in their game. Am I being singled out or does this happen to everyone and these crazy (and I say that term with love) spirits are just my guides? I don't have strong psychic powers like some. I can't read minds (thought I am somewhat of an empath). I can't see the future. I'm not even that good at seeing spirits. (Others in my family, however, can.) So why are these things happening to me?
Most of the time, after the initial shock of the experience wears off, I just adjust my life as needed and go on. But now, they are happening more frequently and my guardian from childhood has reappeared. Why?