I have been having flashes, memories that I know could not possibly belong to me. I wouldn't say that I am looking for "help" as much as people to share with that can understand.
My whole life I have had unique experiences from the time I was maybe 2 or 3. I would see things, have dreams of occurrences that had not yet happened, but then would a few weeks after I had the dream. As a child I would try to ignore what was happening as I realized very quickly these were not things that everyone experienced. But as much as I would try to "turn off" these thoughts or experiences, they wouldn't go away. They began to fade as I grew into a teenager and my home life became increasingly more volatile and hostile, but they never went away.
A distinct memory I have and it is hard to explain but it is almost like it is when my soul came into this body... This body was a baby when I entered it, I have the memory of when I entered and I connected to this body and all the memories of this baby before I got there became mine. It's like a screen that plays the film slowly and I see the images flip by.
As an adult I have fought inside myself over these memories, occurrences, and feelings I have. After about 25 I realized there was nothing I could do about this, it was going to happen regardless of whether I wanted it to or not. For about 3 years maybe 4 I have actively researched and read books and went to psychic's trying to figure out what all this means and why it is happening. With no real resolution to my issue.
I began to become very interested in crystals and started to collect them and wear them and I have become almost obsessed with them. I ordered some from England and do to a mix up on their end I received a pendant that I would not have gotten, if they hadn't made a mistake. It is a Kyanite pendant, I began wearing it and never took it off. Before wearing I use to get vague sensations of things happening to me, like when in my car at any stop sign I always get the distinct sensation of being hit head on from the right. I hear the sound of the impact, the rushing feeling everything. After I started wearing the necklace it became worse and more frequent. Not only did I have the sensation of being hit in my car but over time I began to experience other sensations, of being tortured... It began happening all the time, every few minutes I would have the sensation of torture all over my body, and the memory of the torture, the sensation of it, the exact body part. I began to think I was losing my mind. And then I connected the necklace to the frequency of the occurrences and I took it off... And it stopped. Except the car one, that has never went away.
I know this is not a normal occurrence with Kyanite as it is one of two elements in the world that does not hold negative energy.
Kyanite opens and clears the body's communication centers. For channeling or meditation purposes it works best when it is worn near the throat chakra. Kyanite never needs cleaned or charged because it is self-caring, self-sustaining. It carries a very "light" energy that attracts light beings (angels, spirit guides, extraterrestrials). Wonderful manifesting stone.
Now I am having memories that I know can not belong to me, for example I am in Africa, in a village, there is some kind of ceremony going on. It is important, there is dancing, there is excitement, and I don't know who I am in this memory but I know I am a key person in this event.
I feel that I have lived many lives, almost like I am to old to be in this body.
And I feel like there is something coming, something more, almost like I am on the edge of my seat waiting for what ever it is, anticipating it, almost like I am jumping out of my own skin waiting for what ever it is to happen, to show it's self to me...
I want to know how to make this work for me, I want to know how to use this to help me in my life, I know that there is more to this, almost like there is a key, that I need to unlock it. I need to find the key...
Can anyone help me?