I am currently going through a very stressful time losing my grandmother to cancer. We are nearly at the end, she is bedridden, drinking through a straw but I can still see her in this failing body and its all very painful indeed. She was in the house but on Friday I had to let her be taken into a private home where they are geared to support this kind of illness, we weren't coping at home.
ON Saturday I spent the day with her then came home. I had one bottle of beer and went to bed. I cried bitterly for about half an hour, nothing new, I am doing this every night at the moment, but as I lay on my side looking into the blackness, all of a sudden my vision was filled with moving colours, not bright but certainly not a black room anymore. I stopped crying and rolled on my back and my vision was still filled with this movement. Not orbs not any shapes I could actually make out but there was a lot going on. In the very foreground there was a large swirling shape. As opposed to actually looking at it, it was more a case of it blocking my vision, I couldn't not look at it. It was very close to me, moving in a way where whichever way the top of it went, the rest of it would trail behind it in the exact same path and movement.
It wasn't white but close, like a magnolia. I remember the whole thing reminding me of when you look at the sun and burn your retina and have that distorted vision. It stayed for about 10 minutes, I started to concentrate on the off white thing moving in such a quick, smooth and agile way, so fluid and so unpredictable.
I was not afraid.
I rolled back on my side and closed my eyes and cried again and when I opened my eyes and looked back int the room it was lack and normal like nothing had happened.