Six months ago I would regularly hear cruel voices, mostly at night. They screamed at me and told me to do bad things that I don't want to mention. They warned me that someone was going to try to kill me, and I became very afraid.
I explained to my parents and psychiatrist the danger that they told me I was in, and they dismissed it as a paranoid delusion, and said that the voices were auditory hallucinations. They diagnosed me as a paranoid schizophrenic and put me on medicine that took the terrible voices away.
But it took other things away as well.
I used to be able to know things about people that they never told me. I could infer things from the sound of their voice, the shape of their face, and their mannerisms. Now I can no longer do that. I really miss it, because it made me feel special. I told me mother, and she considered the possibility that ESP exists, because she has had similar experiences.
I am a sort of atheistic existentialist. I don't believe in spirits, and don't think that's what I used to hear, but I do believe in reincarnation. Is it possible that these voices are from past lives? I desperately need answers. I feel very lost after being labeled as schizophrenic. Sometimes I wonder if I actually am, but I feel very misunderstood.
I've been in and out of mental hospitals four times in the past year, and I am so tired of being called mentally ill, when I used to have these subtle powers that have never pertained to schizophrenia. I don't want the voices to come back. They were awful, but I miss my old powers. Is there a way to get closer to them while still staying on medicine?