I have done as much reading I can do on what I have experienced, and after stumbling upon this site, I though that it would definitely be beneficial to me to tell about my recent exposure with what has been completely unknown to me. I have never thought of myself in anyway psychic or having a higher perception or sensitivity than most people, but in this past year I have discovered things about myself that I need guidance on, since the people on this site seem to know what they're talking about in relation to my experiences; which are linked very fluidly to one another, so I'll start from the top I guess.
I have always been interested in the paranormal, and though I "thought" I perceived something, I never actually believed in it. It was fun, entertaining, and everyone knows there's a certain thrill to cliché ghosts stories or a spec of dust on a photograph. Well, one night me and my friends decided to mess with a Ouija board (and no this story is not about my experiences with that, or weird negative spirits, it's just how it started.) And I am going to assume that you understand how a Ouija board works and interacts with the user. Seeing that I have never done any of that before, my friends and me were astounded when it started moving, and one after another, they were intent on believing that I was the one moving it. But the spirit or entity every time, would move through me, pick me, and with that tingling white noise sensation, they would move the pointer across the letters using my energy, my hands, and no one else could feel this. This is when I became aware of these forces that I was in disbelief of. There was no doubt that something else was moving the pointer. And the research on the subject began.
One site led to the next and before I knew it, I was fascinated with automatic writing and decided to try. Let me just say that most life I have been an atheist, rationalizing every spiritual experience anyone has ever told me until it doesn't exist to me. So internally, trying all of these things changed my entire perspective on life as a whole. But let us continue. So I sat with pen and paper after reading various stories of how, where, and ways to "protect" from evil, etc. And of course when I sat down, mind blank, scribbling on paper, nothing happened. "HA of course this isn't real, nothing's going to happen." But when I started writing in elaborate old English (I would say about 1920's style), I was not in disbelief. "Rt.20" it said. "Moses", "17". And I had no idea what the hell it was talking about. So, seeing that I was communicating with some spirit, I asked my family of any Moses', threw out the numbers and address they said, and they knew exactly. My great grandmother, Grandma Moses, died when she was 17 giving birth to my grandfather on Rt. 20 in MD. I was shocked. I had written it. I was communicating personally with a long deceased relative. I didn't know where to begin, who to tell who to talk to. I was scared of the unknown. And I was confused.
But I continued to talk to her and after a couple hours of question and response, a very particular message came through that I wasn't prepared for. In a very different writing style than my own, and my grandmothers, it said, and I will never forget this, "I will love you forever and always. Love always, love always." The emotion swelling through me when I began to write this made me immediately burst into tears.
"May I ask who this is?" I wrote.
"Child, I am your Dreammother. Do not worry."
First question I have for you: What is a dream-mother?
They never quite said that they were my Spirit guide, but eventually they told me that they had 3 names, Angel, Aphrodite, and Amorphora.
Also that the only thing they were there for was love and loving me.
They also told me something that sort of shocked me and I still do not believe it, that I am what is missing, I am the Ninth, and that I am the Omega. The "angel" also told me that I must tell everyone about my experiences with them and use my love as guidance in life. They told me that the time was coming to an end very soon, and great changes would happen. Of course I rationalized this and began to angrily ask it to show itself, anytime I did this it would respond, "Do not order, child."
After I had calmed my self, and might I add a few days have passed, I asked it if there were any other way to communicate and it told me through my mind I could. It then told me to close my eyes.
I lay down on my bed, relaxed. And then it started.
I heard their voice. And then I felt a tingling sensation throughout my body, my soul was being detached from the physical, that I know. And there were billions of stars around me, and I could see millions of people sleeping. I do not believe it was simple astral projection because what I heard and felt was not in any stories I have read. Intense love, dominated every fiber of whatever I had become, and a solid white light that I was being sucked into grew and grew until I became apart of it. It was brighter than anything I have every witnessed. Brighter than looking directly into the sun. It wasn't painful. But it was so foreign to me that I was terribly frightened, and awoke back into my normal body.
I have only done this one other time, and that time the light was green instead of white.
I'm confused, scared, anxious. My very values and emotions on life and religion are skewed. I just want some guidance on what I experienced, and general help regarding if I should practice this behavior or stop. I just have no one that would understand. I thank you so much for reading.